8.29.2008

Solving the Unsolved Mystery

Rose got it. The Mystery Man is revealed:



Thanks to everybody who played along. And thanks to the budding artist who drew some vaguely 70's rocker dude with a mustache and decided it looked most like Eric Clapton. Wherever you are, thank you. You have made the Internet a slightly more interesting place.

Friday Five Is Alive!

So last Friday I was out living my rock & roll lifestyle and was not in the office like all day long. So when I checked in on my Feeds that night, it was insane. I blazed through them and consequently missed the fact that Rose had tagged me with some thing called The Friday Five. I felt like a total d-bag when I realized I'd completely ignored her tagging. And I am not a d-bag. I'm a lot of things, but a d-bag is not one of them. So, citizens of the Internet, here is my answer to the Friday Five:

1. What car would you pick of someone were to buy you any car in the world?
Either the 60's Batmobile or the Spider-buggy. Or the Millennium Falcon.

2. Do you prefer to read or watch TV? why?
I prefer to read while I watch TV. Because I multitask. Plus, it makes the books that much better. I mean, how boring would Great Expectations be without that part when Mister Belvedere helped Wesley with the spelling bee or when Miss Havisham adopted Alf and then B.A. busts in and yells "I ain't gettin' on no plane!"? There's a reason it's considered a classic, folks.

3. What is your favorite form of exercise (if any)? why?
I like to do lid-ups. It's an eyelid exercise. Basically, it involves blinking as fast as you can for 90 minutes. I usually do about 20 reps of that a day. It's intense.

4. If you could try one illegal drug and not suffer any life-threatening side effects, what would it be?
Monkey tears.
Why?
I heard that after you take it (it's injected via the elbow), you can only speak in adverbs. And I like adverbs. Some would say that I love adverbs. And "Some" is right. We're getting married once it becomes legal to marry parts of speech. I heard Vermont's close to passing legislation. Cross yr fingers! You're all invited to the wedding! It's going to be on a beach in Ibiza. I'll be the one wearing the floor-length otter pelt tunic and the helmet made of chewed-up Starburst candies. I know, it's a little traditional, but what can I say? I'm old-fashioned like that.

5. If you had to give away all of your possessions but could keep just one, what would you keep and why?
My drawing of this guy, whose identity is still a mystery.

*******

So how does this work, Rose? Am I supposed to tag people or make up new questions or what? I suck at the Internet. Please advise.

8.27.2008

Binary Questions

So far, nobody's guessed the identity of the mystery man. So, we're going to play 20-ish Questions in the comments section. Ask me any "yes" or "no" question. First to guess it, gets it. Let's rock.

8.25.2008

I Am Decided {or} Sorry This Isn't Funny

There's been this feeling coming over me today. It's been a sort of frustrating day. The kind of day you want to karate chop in the Adam's apple, kick around violently and throw down the stairs while screaming something very inappropriate about its mother. One of those kinds of days. But wrapped around this crappiness has been this feeling like time itself has gotten all ribboned up, like hard candy looped repeatedly back on itself or like in that Death Cab song when he says he wishes the world "was flat like the old days/When I travel just by folding a map." The feeling that time has crested pervades.

Lately I've caught myself waxing nostalgic for Vegas where I grew up and New York City where I served my mission and Idaho where I attended college and tennager-hood and the newness of the past; like the first time I heard Bee Thousand and I thought I'd go crazy now that I knew music like this existed and was worried that I'd never be able to find more like it, all wild and twisting and jugular. It's sort of exhilarating, this reflection on the past, like the feeling you get when you hear the Modern Lovers talk about driving around late at night with the radio on and its sad and exuberant at the same time. It's beautiful because it's dying or already dead and you know it will never happen again, no matter how hard you will it to. Maybe because it never happened like you remember it happening in the first place. Time makes us all liars.

I'm getting older. My daughter's starting preschool. Stephen Malkmus of Pavement is 42 years old. Nevermind came out almost two decades ago. Fables Of the Reconstruction was released six years before that. Behind me, fading off into the horizon wave friends, memories, good books, mistakes, heartbreaks, triumphs and laughs. Those things are gone, lost to wherever we discard the past when it's outlived its usefulness. And that's sad. It's sad when things end. But everything does. Here on this earth, entropy is the law and, like gravity, it cannot be broken by you or I. It takes a force greater than that to bend or revoke those laws. I guess I forget this sometimes. I'm too nostalgic, too maudlin to remember that "now" is transient and that facing forward is not only important, it's essential. Just ask Lot's wife. Too much is missed when you're facing the wrong direction, too much opportunity for collision when you're not watching the road ahead of you.

I've had this feeling, and maybe it's just stress compounded with lack of sleep, but I've felt like I can glimpse life spread out before me, a little peek into what lies ahead, if only for a few more miles' worth of road. I'm reminded of when I drove out here from Idaho and I wound lazily through Indiana, coming around corners and up hills and having the road laid out before and below me like a roller coaster or something. And as I crest the top of this hill I know that that stuff that makes life worth living: the friends, experiences, memories, struggles and successes are not only behind me, but before me as well; that these things are not just the province of the past. In fact, those things in my past have been there to prepare me for the things to come, whose scale and intensity increase as I get closer to my destination.

And that's exciting. Terrifying, but exciting.

And I just had these thoughts and felt like I should share them, for whatever they're worth. Thanks for reading.

Man Of Muscle Mystery

There's a bookstore near our office we refer to as "The Crazy @$$ Bookstore." It's a total, glorious mess. There's a desk in the middle of the store where the owner sits with his cats, barely visible over the piles of paperbacks and haggard hardbacks. Books literally crammed in there from floor to ceiling, with something inexplicably awesome just waiting to be discovered. (One of the better books we ran across in one of our lunch break breeze-throughs was titled I Love People, which is either some sort of sales handbook or a recipe book for cannibals. Not sure which.) I found a bunch of literary mini-magazines titled The Phillistine from the late 19th century there a while back. It's musty, disorganized and cramped.

It's basically an amazing place.

A month or so ago, we got the news that it was closing down. This was rough news to our office, as we regularly would go an peruse the shelves after lunch, scoring weird books on invertebrates and whatnot. The bookstore had fallen on hard times and as a small, eccentric bookstore in a town whose economy was already hurting, well, this prelude to a Recession we've been experiencing coupled with the shift of consumer focus to big chain retailers and the Internet proved too perfect of a storm for this tiny, weird store to weather. Sadness reigned.

There was a big "Going Out Of Business" sale last month at which time I found five (!) Doc Savage (!!) paperbacks (!!!), a 1960's Physics textbook and a copy of sci-fi short story collection titled, incredibly enough, Teenage Super Science Stories. It is as awesome as it sounds.

Well, it's been a month now and the poor guy's still moving out. I'd imagine it will take him at least another one until he's finally all dug out. He's still selling stuff, so we went over after lunch this last week to see what could be seen. I scored a paperback of 1970's Flash Gordon newspaper strip reprints, a Dick And Jane-style writing handbook from the 50's and a copy of Kung Fu, Vol 1: Year Of the Tiger, by Lee Chang, who is apparently the most raddest person who ever walked the earth. ("The most thrilling, action-packed series ever published!" according to the cover, and believe me, it is. You will be hearing more about this. Stay tuned.)

I also bought found this picture, sitting lonely on top of a box of books. I had to bring it home with me. It looked so sad there, all discarded and forgotten and lost. Somebody obviously put a lot of work and love into it - this portrait of their hero - and it deserved a home. I know who it's supposed to be, it had the name carefully scrawled beneath it, but I realized that if I covered it up, it was reeeealy hard to tell who it was supposed to be. Can you guess? Take a look:



Winner gets a mounted color print mailed to them. Lemme know if I need to start giving hints. Good luck!

8.22.2008

Abraham, Zombies & John

John Kendall is a man of action. While the rest if us are sitting around, thinking to ourselves, "Man, I should really print out that D.I.Y. Abe Dylan/I posted and take some awesome/hilarious pictures," John Kendall is out there doing it. Because that's the kind of man he is. Here's John's D.I.Y. Abe getting attacked by zombies:



Excellent. Has anybody else done one of these yet? I'm doing one this weekend for sure.

Also, I just swatted at a fly that landed on my monitor and I think I killed it, but I don't see a corpse, so I'm unable to determine it's vital status. Should I presume the little fella dead, or do I wait a few days before notifying the authorities/making funeral arrangements? I have no idea what the protocol is here.

Oh, never mind. A fly just buzzed past me. Looked like the same one. Segmented eyes. Sucker face. Vaguely poo-y smell. I guess I've got some killin' to do tonight.

8.20.2008

Quest For the Conquest Of the Questions Of the Planet Of the Apes Of Tomorrow

Everybody's answering reader questions these days. Christina started it and then Candace followed suit and now all of the sudden, the whole dang Internet has started doing it and I want to do it but if I do it I will look like a copycat instead of an, uh, original cat and I am one original cat! So, I'll be answering reader questions through the power of telepathy. That's right! Just think of a question and I will answer it ... WITH MY MIND!!! Let's roll, monkey people:

Brandt asks: Name three things that are physically close to you:
1. A glass tumbler that was previously full of Chex Mix.
2. A notepad full of notes, sketches of projects I'm working on and the Colonel's recipe. (The secret ingredient: ground up baby kitten tears. They sell them at Wal-Mart. Over by the cremes and lotions.)
3. The Ark Of the Covenant. We're gonna open it up after lunch. See what's in there. Should be fun. I'll take pictures.

Rose asks: What was the last thing you dreamed about?
I dreamed I was riding a unicorn through a field of pink roses, when suddenly it dawned on me that this unicorn, it was really my fourth grade teacher and I had neglected to go to class for the last three years, and once my father - a high-ranking midget astronaut in the Imperial Guard - found out about this, I would be flogged by masked grizzly bears with large, almost-man-sized salmon.

Also, I realized I was naked. And falling. For a long time. Thankfully I woke before I hit the spikes who were really cleverly-disguised alligators below. Thank goodness for that.

Chris asks: Do you collect anything? If so, what?
Bottle caps. Bottles. Beetles. Beatles. Locks of hair from the heads of 16th century philosophers. First edition copies of Everybody Poops. Autographed animation cells from the never-aired cartoon version of M*A*S*H. Cans of Tab. Trading cards of famous hobos, including a Blind Mississippi Mack rookie card in mint condition. No, it's not for sale.

Allen asks: Are you proud of yourself?
Sometimes.

Candace asks: What's your favorite fruity scent?
Richard Simmons. He smells like old ladies and sweat. And oldies. Either that or anything citrusy, really.

John asks: What is your favorite invention?
Bacon.

Dave asks: What do you like better: oranges or apples?
Wow. This is literally like comparing apples to oranges, Dave. But I'd have to go with oranges. Because they're citrusy-smelling. See a couple of questions ago.

Are you a good guesser?
Yes I am ... Caitlin!

Ben asks: Do you have any nicknames?
Bruiser. Maniac. Bloody Knuckles. Professor Destructo: The Ultimate Destroyer. Pickles.

Jason asks: What is your favorite animal?
The majestic narwhal. Truly yon animal is the unicorn of the briny deep.

Patti asks: What do you do when vending machines steal your
money?

I take it out on my toaster. I will not be pushed around by a machine.

Other Ben asks: What's your least favorite color?
Purpley, orangey, pinkish brown.

Emilio asks: Has a rumor even been spread about you?
There was this rumor going around that I was really Marilyn Manson. But that's total rubbish. Everybody knows that he's that kid that played Paul on The Wonder Years. Or was that Small Wonder? Anyway, he's that kid from that Wonder show from the 80's.

Jesse asks: Have you ever been to a different country?
No. Though I'd really like to visit Latveria before I die. I hear it's beautiful in the spring, when the Doombots come out to spawn.

Ryan asks: Do you believe in magic?
Yes. Magic is what makes the world go round. Literally. Seriously, Isaac Newton was a d-bag with all his "gravity this" and "gravity that" and "gravity gravitygravity." Yuck. It's magic that holds this blue and green plane in the air. Magic is what makes the sun revolve around the earth, makes crops grow and magic is what kills witches. Magic is, basically, awesome.

*******

Aaaaaand that's it. Thanks for your questions. We'll have to do this again sometime.

8.18.2008

Bullets Fired From the Space Gun

* Sometimes I wonder if, when the aliens/robots/post-apocalyptic cyborg merpeople are searching through the ruins of our society, they will look and say, "Wow. These people really liked Everybody Loves Raymond. Look at this TV Guide. It's on like all of the time. No wonder they went extinct."

* I watched The Hudsucker Proxy again this weekend. Dude, that movie is so dang excellent.

* All I really want out of life is peace, happiness and a personal jetpack. Maybe a backrub now and then. Is that too much to ask for?

* I wonder if Michael Jackson ever walked up to someone, punched them in the mouth and then said "You've been hit by a smooth criminal." I sure hope so. That's just too good to pass up.

* I can't believe someone beat me to killing that accursed Bigfoot. Oh well, down the list we goes. Look out Nessie!

* Ladies & gents, the cover to September's mix, Hot Dog; featuring tracks from Gomez, Supergrass, The Stones, The Kinks and Roxy Music, among others.

* And finally, I received this on Friday. Oh man, Jack Kirby was incredible, wasn't he? It's like somebody poured 100% pure, uncut incredible on to close to 400 pages, never realizing that the world is just not ready for that much awesome in one sitting. And people, this is volume one of four equally-sized volumes. Think about that. And then there's the O.M.A.C. collection, his Etrigan the Demon stuff and the Kamandi Archive Editions. And that's just his late-period DC stuff. That doesn't take into account his late-period Marvel stuff like Devil Dinosaur or The Eternals or all the stuff he did when he pretty much birthed - or at least midwifed (is that the proper term when you're referring to a man? "Midhusbanded"? Who knows?!) - the entire Marvel Universe. And this is all stuff from ONE. PERSON. Unbelievable.

Sadie & I flipped through it before she went to bed and she is now familiar with the New Gods, the Forever People and Mister Miracle. My proper fatherly duties = accomplished. I can pretty much die now and know that I've done what I was put here for. From here on out, it's all gravy. Delicious, beefy gravy.

8.15.2008

Haiku Friday: Haiku 4 U



Wrote a bunch of haiku on the train this morning:

Basement lights are on
In the middle of the day.
What goes on down there?

*******

Guy with the DiscMan,
There's this great new invention;
It's called an iPod.

*******

Oh, hey! George Lucas,
Let me take over Star Wars.
You've lost it, homeboy.

*******

You know when I say
"It's on like Donkey Kong"
That it is so on.

*******

And finally, an Olympic-themed haiku:

Michael Phelps won like
One million gold medals, but
His ears are still big.

*******

As usual, your haiku creations are more than welcome in the comments section.

8.13.2008

I Put the "Me" In "Meme"

As a fully-deputized agent of the Internet, it is my duty to pounce on every single little meme that comes along, no matter how old and crusty it may be. So, without further ado, here's my 50 Things I Love About Comics (In No particular Order):

1. The Madman Of Snap City
2. Mutant street beatniks
3. The X-gene
4. Archaeologists Of the Strange
5. Ramona Flowers' Evil Ex-boyfriends
6. Street Angel
7. Batman: Year One
8. Paul Pope's inky lines
9. Nextwave: Agents Of H.A.T.E. versus evil broccoli men
10. M.O.D.O.K.
11. M.O.D.A.M.
12. When Buddy Baker looks out at you, the reader, in Animal Man
13. Art Adams drawing pretty much anything
14. That mansion on Greymalkin Lane
15. Doctor Strange's fingers
16. AIM's bee-keeper uniforms
17. Concrete in general
18. The Mount Everest story in particular
19. There's a 13-year-old in me that still thinks The Dark Knight Returns is the greatest piece of literature the Western world has ever produced.
20. Seaguy
21. Chubby Da Choona
22. The Mummy On the Moon
23. The Wasps Of Atlantis
24. The Fantastic Four
25. Particularly when they're going to Atlantis and Reed gives them this chewing gum that will help them to breathe underwater. Completely ludicrous, yet somehow genius.
26. The ever-lovin' blue eyed idol of millions, Benjamin Grimm. Even Pineapple Thing. Especially the Pineapple Thing.
27. Grant Morrison's love note to the Marvel U: Marvel Boy
28. X-Force/X-Statix
29. Doop!
30. The Orphan playing Russian Roulette every night before bed
31. That issue of Global Frequency where the people all think they've seen an angel and they all go crazy.
32. The fact that there is literally no limit to what can happen on a page.
33. Jordan Crane's The Clouds Above
34. Jay Stephens
35. Parademons
36. Celestials
37. Hellboy punching out a giant Nazi cyborg gorilla
38. Little Nemo
39. The Doom Patrol
40. The Brotherhood Of Dada
41. The existential horror lurking beneath every single panel of Peanuts.
42. Fake swearing symbols.
43. The Far Side. Seriously, it shaped me in ways I can't explain.
44. Bullets fired backward through time.
45. The Shadow King, even if he is sort of a lame Freddie Kreuger rip-off.
46. Those dumb Marvel "_____head" nicknames: Ol' Shellhead, Webhead, Hornhead, etc.
47. Jeff Smith's Bone
48. Nick Freaking Fury.
49. Alan Moore's Supreme: Best. Superman comics. Ever.
50. The Hulk's purple ripped pants. Seriously, purple?

8.11.2008

How We Met (The Truly True Story)



Candace recently blogged about our "how we met" story over here. The only problem is that it's totally inaccurate. Like, total lies. The real story is much more epic and has 300% more battles. And a car chase. And I'm pretty sure that I wasn't wearing a Hanson t-shirt when we first met. I'm pretty sure I answered the door shirtless, my pectoral muscles and perfectly-honed six-pack aglisten with perspiration and desire. My body was emanating a musk as intoxicating as it was animal. My flaxen hair hung loose about my shoulders like drapery framing a chiseled face full of ruggedness and handsomeness and ... Oh, wait. That's a passage from that Harlequin Romance novel I was working on. I had to shelve it because I ran out of synonyms for "heaving."

In any case, her story's full of holes, mis-rememberings and some flat-out lies. Allow me to set the record straight.

Our story begins in 1999. As Prince suggested, I was partying like it was 1999. Which it was, so that worked out pretty well. I had just returned from covert operations in Bangladesh and was looking forward to some downtime after thwarting a horrible terrorist operation using only my mind and a sock full of thumbtacks. It was pretty awesome. Especially when I blew that thing up and it was all like "KA-BOOMMMM!!!" And I was like, "Hope your fire insurance is paid up," as I walked away in slow-motion. Here's where that car chase comes in, as well as a pretty sweet musical montage of me sneaking into the Pentagon set to the Stooges' "I Wanna Be Your Dog." More stuff blows up while I ride off on a super top-secret experimental hover-bike. In slow-motion. Roll credits.

Anyway, I was back, and single and definitely ready to mingle. And I'm sitting there, chilling, unwinding, y'know and my brother Bryan comes in and says, "You know what you need? You need to go see a movie that will really take a crap on the most beloved sci-fi franchise in the last lifetime. For like the sixth time. Shall we see The Phantom Menace again? Ammon's in town."

To which I responded: "Okay. Cool. Maybe this time I won't want to kill Jar-Jar."

"Let's not get carried away," Bryan said. And thus it was on. The date was set, the die cast, the uh, metaphor was uh, slung? I dunno. We went to the movie and I met Candace.

From here, the story's pretty close to what she said, only substituting the Hanson shirt for my rippling muscles as I previously mentioned. Did I mention they were aglisten? Because they were. But the part about the licorice box? I have no idea what fantasy novel that concept trotted out of. Seriously, she was all over me like an applique sweater on a fourth grade teacher. I was like "Um, I'm trying to eat my Red Vines here, lady." And she was all, "So, have I told you what classes I'm taking next semester?" And I was all "Um, like three times. Now if you'll kindly excuse me, I have to watch as George Lucas kills my enthusiasm for Star Wars with midichlorians. Dang, girl!" So yeah, not necessarily love at first sight. Though I did think she was super cute. Just a little too, I dunno, forward?

At the time I was playing in a band called the Asthmatics and our house was a hub of activity that summer, so we had a few chances to see each other again and all of the sudden we were sitting on the couch in her parent's basement, making out watching Willy Wonka. Seriously, I thought she really wanted to watch a movie about a kid who inherits a crazy candy factory, but all of the sudden she's all over me. And I didn't want her to feel bad, and she was so dang cute, so I kissed her back. It was the gentlemanly thing to do. And I may be a lot of things, but one thing I am not is ungentlemanly.

I distinctly remember stopping her mid-make out and saying "Are you sure you want to make out right now? The creepy tunnel part where he sings 'There's no earthly way of knowing / Which direction we are going...' is coming up and I really like that part." And she was all "Listen. Do you want to make out or what?" And I was like, "Um yeah because you're super cute and I think we're gonna get married but don't be surprised if you catch me sneaking a peek every now and then because I really love this movie." And she said "Just shut up and get to kissin', hot stuff."

And that is the true story folks. Only I left out the part about when the psychic robots dinosaurs kidnapped her and sent her into the future and I had to rescue her using only my mind and my mighty, glistening pectorals and I blew up the psychic robots dinosaurs' hideout and it was all like "KA-BOOMMMM!!!" And I was like, "You just got extinct-ed," as I walked away in slow-motion with Candace in my arms and we sped off in my spaceship.

Also, I beat her at tether ball every time; I don't care what she says.

Anyway, so I love Candace. Or: "I so love Candace." Or: "Love Candace, so I." Or whatever. She's funny and cute and awesome and smart and she smells nice and even though she sometimes confuses her rich fantasy life for reality, she's still the bestest thing that ever happened to me. Seriously, without her, I'd most likely be living in a box somewhere. And not even a cool box. Like a store-brand Cap'n Crunch box or something. For reals.

8.05.2008

Because You Loved Me

I made this wallpaper at work today in honor of the Olympics. It is so inspirational it will make your eyeballs explode and then you will go and win gold medals like crazy. With no eyes, even. I showed it to a squirrel and it got so motivated it enrolled in law school and now is partner at one of the largest personal injury law offices in the WORLD! Your results may vary, but eyeball exploding is guaranteed or your money back. Download it and enjoy:



There's also a blue version. You're welcome, Internets.

8.04.2008

Heads Are Gonna Roll

When I'm President of the You Ess Uv Hey!, some things are gonna change. I got some like, ideas and stuff:

I will add another hour to the day that will sit comfortably between 2:00 am and 3:00 am so we can all get an extra hour of sleep. You're welcome. It's the least I can do for you people. You beautiful, sexy, intelligent people.

I will also add another day to the week, sandwiched between Saturday and Sunday. I will name this day either "Sunderday," "Satursun," or "Pickles."

Nachos are a right, not a privilege.

Pants = optional. Seriously, those "No shoes, no shirt, no service" signs? They say nothing about pants. Lose 'em if you wanna. It's a free country, my fellow patriots.

Celine Dion will be tried in the Hague for crimes against humanity. The producers of Two & A Half Men will be clapped in irons in the public square to be spat upon by passersby. Paulie Shore will be burned in effigy and then in reality.

We will bomb a country within my first 100 days. The decision on which country gets it and gets it good will be entirely dependent on what my bowl of Alpha Bits decides to spell out. So, country of Gljoahionizxlzsdsanroituvnkhgergveiiasdidad, you'd better watch out. We're coming for you.

Bob Pollard will be my Secretary of Education & Rocking Out. John Shaft will serve as my Secretary of Whoop-A$$. Kurt Vonnegut's ghost will be appointed Deputy of Awesome. The George W. Bush Library will be renamed "The Hall Of Justice" and painted hot pink. Its shelves will be crammed with comics written and drawn by a team of mediums channeling Jack Kirby.

No more repetitive state names. "Bobcat Goldthwaite" will become the legal name of South Dakota. North Dakota will become "Electric Ladyland." To, you know, sex it up a bit. South Carolina will stay the same, just lose the "South." North Carolina, however will have its name changed to "Pooperville."

The American flag will no longer be red, white and blue. Instead it will be orange, purple and lime green. And stars are soooo played out. How about little smiling Corey Feldman faces? 50 of them. Yeah, that's better.

The Secret Service will be replaced by gigantic purple panthers. Anybody who messes with me will get eaten. One of these panthers will have a saddle that I can ride. Y'know, like Skeletor.

Camp X-Ray will be retrofitted to house its new residents: anyone who was won a Country Music Award in the last 15 years. You're welcome.

Wyoming, you're out. Sorry. Go find another country to stink up. We'll split Vermont up into "Nobody Lives Here" and "Here Either." There, we're back to 50 states. Easy-peasy.

New national anthem = This.

Finally, every man, woman and child would wake up happy, healthy and not hungry. Also, they would know how to break-dance.

The end. Remember: A vote for me is a vote for nachos.

Blogcation = Over



I'm back. I'm rested. I'm ready. And now it's on like you-know-who. Tell yr friends. We're gonna party like it's 1699. Old school, baby.

8.01.2008

Headlights Cut Like...



Here she is, A Knife Through the Night, a mixtape of songs for driving late at night. It's sort of the late-night cousin to No Cars Go. The sun's gone down and you're driving through the moonlight, your headlights cutting through the dark like a knife through the heart of your loneliness.

Tracklist:

01. "I have found myself tonight."
02. "I've been getting messages from outer space."
03. "A view beyond the skyline."
04. "Wanting. Needing. Feeling."
05. "Taking different roads."
06. " . . . "
07. "You've got disaster on your mind."
08. "Caught in a motion that I don't wanna stop."
09. "I know why you stare East."
10. "All the most exotic places they are cultivated."
11. "Off the map where the wild things grow."
12. "I can't see a thing in the sky."
13. "Yet my hands are shaking."
14. "Red cherries slashing up the night."
15. " . . . "
16. "Now I'm darker than the deepest sea."
17. "In the night, through the door."
18. "I guess you wouldn't call it a scene."
19. "You can forgive or you can regret."
20. "I shivered the whole night through."

Download it here.