Seven Evil Exes

So, we saw Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World the night it opened and for some reason, I'm just getting around to blogging about it. It was really fantastic. Like, very, very, very good. Perfect, almost. Upon its completion, I immediately wanted to go watch it again. That's how good it is.

It has everything a movie should have: a great soundtrack, great cast, masterful direction, snappy dialogue, epic fights, and a cute love story. It looks great, it sounds great and it feels great. (It also includes the long-awaited fight between George Michael Bluth and Ann Veal that all you Arrested Development fanfic writers have been salivating over.*) And so far, it's not doing so great at the box office, with box office receipts totaling less than half of that steaming turd of a film Eat Pray love. This is terrible. I cannot let this act of aggression stand. As an enjoy-er of Things That Are Awesome, I must act.

So I am posting this in an effort to get you out of your house and into a theater to watch this movie. Because trust me, if you wait until it hits in DVD and you're watching it at home on your little TV you will be going, "Oh man! This movie's great! Why didn't I see this on the big screen? WHYYYY?!" And I will jump out from behind a plant and say, "I TOLD YOU!" And you will probably call the cops. But it will be worth it.

But yeah, go see Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World. I loved it, and c'mon, my tastes are pretty impeccable, right? And if you're worried it's too dudical or if I'm already to biased about the source material (Seriously though, the comics are great, too. And yeah, I'm a pretty big sucker for Edgar Wright, but c'mon! Spaced? Shaun of the of Dead? Hot Fuzz? Spaaaaaaaaced? And yeah, I bought both the soundtrack and the score and will most likely download the game on Xbox and sure, I waited to buy the last volume at midnight at my local comic shop and I pretty much feel like if you don't like this movie you probably wouldn't like me because it's everything I think is great about movies/comics/video games all in one place…), I will point out that I saw it with my wife, who also enjoyed it lots and couldn't care less about comic book movies or martial arts movies, both of which this film shares DNA with. So there.

It's super-fun. Honest. And if you have seen it already, why not tell a friend. It pains me to see something this good and this fun and this well-made get passed over in favor of stuff like Vampires Suck or Eat Pray Love. We've got to fight for our right to awesome.

Here's the trailer.



* Is Arrested Development fanfic a thing? Initially I was joking, but now I kinda hope it is. I don't know that I want to live in a world where somebody isn't spending hours writing the further adventures of the Bluth family. It's gotta be out there somewhere, right? I mean, if people are writing Spin City or WKRP In Cincinnati fanfic, surely somebody somewhere's gotta writing the story of Carl Weathers and Tobias Fünke on a roadtrip across America to audition for the Spider-Man musical, right? Please tell me this is so, otherwise, well, you know what I'll be doing this weekend.

Comic Fu

I'm not gonna lie to you: I would pretty much kill for the chance to write a Deadly Hands Of Shang Chi: Master Of Kung Fu series. I would, at the very least, maim or seriously injure to read such a series. Do you hear me, Joe Quesada? Stop publishing a million comics about freaking Skrulls and give me some awesome kung fu action in comic book form! Or else!

Also, as long as I'm talking comics and martial arts action, I must say that the current "Lady Bullseye" arc Brubaker's got going on in Daredevil is pretty flippin' radical. Seriously, is there anybody writing comics right now who is as solid as Bru's been? Granted, I haven't read his stuff on Uncanny, but his DD and Captain America are both just amazing. And his run on Catwoman is one of my favorite runs of comic books ever.

Basically, I want to have his babies, comic book-wise. Am I alone here?

Something For the Weekend

You may recall that I purchased Kung Fu: The Year Of the Tiger by Lee Chang recently. You know, the book described on the front cover as "The most thrilling, action-packed series ever published!" Yeah, that's it right there; to the left. See. Awesome, right? Well, it is. What? You don't believe me? Okay then, let me convince you by reading (or, uh, typing) a randomly selected passage from this, the pinnacle of Western (Eastern?) literature:

That's when Gus saw that there were three men in the cab!

And that's when Mace turned to him, and the surprised Yard foreman saw that he was staring at - a Chinese!

Gus couldn't say any more! He felt only a flash of intense pain in his throat and then fell into a choking blackness.

Mace had swung around and tomahawked him across the Adam's apple!

I know, I know, it's incredible. Good luck finding any other copies. I did a quick glance online for #2 (this one's labeled as #1 and they refer to it as a "series" on the cover, so there must be more, right? Please say"yes"!) but came up empty. In any case, I'll be posting quotes every now and then. Maybe you artistic guys and gals out there will submit some illustrations? Maybe?

Sunday Comics - Reasons

This, ladies and gentlemen, is why I read comics:

And to add some context, this is just before Danny Rand, the Immortal Iron Fist, punches out an electromagnetic train full of explosives that is poised to destroy the mystical city of Kun-Lun.

Yeah.

Where else can you find awesome like that if not in comics?

Nowhere, that's where.

And in case any of you were wondering, no, I'm not sticking around for the new creative team. Besides, I need to make room on my tiny Comics Dance Card for the new Guardians Of the Galaxy series. You know, the one with Rocket! Freaking! Raccoon! That one.

He Who Is Not Busy Being Bourne Is Busy Dying

You wanna know what movie freaking rules? This movie freaking rules. If it's not in your queue, get it in there. Man! I love these Bourne movies like I love beef jerky.

And I love beef jerky.

Anyway, So I've Been Thinking

I've been thinking about New Year's Resolutions for some reason this week. Normally, I think they're a load of crap. Well-meaning crap, but crap nonetheless (you know, sort of like America's Most Wanted). Last year I had hoped to read an average of a book a month, which I pretty much did. I also had the goal of posting on this blog 365 times. It's looking like I'll hit (and hopefully exceed) that number. That I have accomplished these feats is excellent, as I have never accomplished a New Year's Resolution like, ever. Right, barely-started awesome comic book script? Right, showering at least once a week? Right, cure for cancer? Right?

So, anyway, I've been thinking, and this is my long list (some of which are fake, but I guess you'll have to figure out which ones) of possible New Year's Resolutions:

* Eat 125 tacos.

* Write something of a substantial length (essay, short story, review, etc.) every month.

* Have a monthly mixtape giveaway for the faithful blog readers/commenters.

* Learn to speak Elvish. No, not "Elvis." "Elvish." It's what elves speak. Why would I want to speak "Elvis"? That's just nerdy.

* Take public transportation whenever possible.

* Find some way to volunteer for that one politician I really admire but shall not name for fear of hate comments because for some reason once you start talking politics on the internets, some people (not you people, of course. You people are good, decent, level-headed people. I mean those other people. You know the ones. NASCAR types. Them.) just stop being civil and forget that other people might see things differently than they themselves do.

* Stay caffiene free, baby.

* Wear more sombreros.

* Ty not to get too excited about the new Star Trek movie, despite the fact it will most likely rock my socks clean off.

* Make my way through the 36 chambers of Shaolin Kung Fu and defeat the dark master that waits inside that final and deadly chamber.

* Resist the urge to grow a mustache, even as a joke.

* Purple.

* Pick up my sobbing guitar and play it every now & then.

* Continue with my Picture Of the Week (aka POW!). Finish off that roll of film still left in my Holga. Use the Lomo Quadshot more.

* Continue to rage against the machine. And by "machine" I mean "the evil that is the jelly donut."

* Think about maybe starting some sort of exercise thing. Because I am getting old.

* Play more video games. Seriously.

* Kill that darned Sasquatch once and for all.

Anyway, so that's the long list. Care to help me weed it down? I know, hard to pick, right? Well, if you want to help, comment below.

Let Slip the Hounds Of Hyperbole! (or) Challenging Challengers

Jesse, are you serious? Challengers = Revolver? As my man Pete Doherty, aka Babyshambles, would say: "Put the pipe down." I kid, I kid. Alright. I'll play along.

Five Albums From 2007 That Are Better Than Challengers:

1. Spoon - Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga
2. LCD Soundsystem - Sound Of Silver
3. Band Of Horses - Cease To Begin
4. Sondre Lerche - Phantom Punch
5. Super Furry Animals - Hey, Venus!

And as long as I'm list-making, here's a few more that I'd rate higher than Challengers:

Jens Lekman - Night Falls On Kortedala
Wilco - Sky Blue Sky
Gruff Rhys - Candylion
Radiohead - In Rainbows
Suburban Kids With Biblical Names - #3
They Might Be Giants - the Else
Peel - Peel
*edited to add: Panda Bear - Person Pitch
I also just downloaded the new David Byrne Live From Austin album which makes the list for a couple of reasons:

1. It contains his mind-blowingly rad version of Whitney Huston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody".
[and]
2. It's features David Byrne. 'Nuff Said.

Which puts Challengers firmly outside the Top 10.

:(

PS. I am fully aware that these lists are totally subjective. I just like to argue now and then. It's fun, right? It's like Music Nerd Fu. Me, I fight Mantis style. My fist is like the hammer of heaven raining down upon the necks your ancestors. My Pao is Kung of the Highest Order. Anybody else got a "Top 5 Of 2007 So Far" list they wanna post? Then do so... NOW! FIGHT!!!

Crazy For Swayze

I just watched Roadhouse because there was nothing else on. I will say this: Roadhouse is easily the best movie ever made. It is why Isaac Newton, Isaac Asimov, Isaac Brock and Chris Isaak got together in their secret underground lair - the Isaackave - and invented the movie camera. It is why salmon swim upstream. It is why the sky is blue and why birds sing. It is like Walker, Texas Ranger on crack cocaine. Also, Sam Elliott is in it, which makes it 100 times better. Mathematically speaking, this makes it roughly 10 trillion times better than any movie. Ever. Basically, it's Citizen Kane. With kicking. And tight sweat pants. And mullets, sweet sassy molassey, the mullets in this movie are amazing.

Don't believe me? See for yourself:

Seriously. This movie is awesome. This I swear. If you can name me a better movie, I will not believe you. Because you are lying.

This Is Why I Read Comics

From the latest issue of the Immortal Iron Fist, issue six. I vow to use "Less talking. More kicking." in casual conversation more often.

Brubaker, Fraction and Aja (as well as the guest flashback artists) have been knocking it out of the park with this series. If you love kicking, stuff blowing up and overpowering pulp hero action, this is the book for you. The first trade's out soon. Don't miss it. Or I will be forced to one-inch punch you in the Adam's apple. For reals.

Carnival Kids

How awesome would it be to name your son Kungfu Grip? Think of how cool it would beon the first day of school, when they're calling out names to hear, "Kungfu Grip Todd?" Wouldn't you be so excited to raise your hand and say, "Here, sucka?" That'd be super boss.

My name was always mangled in elementary school (in my entire public school carreer there was never another Dylan, I think in high school there may have been a Dillon, but I always got pronounced "Die-Lann." [sigh] Now I can't go to the grocery store without some mom around my age yelling at some snot-nosed, faux-hawked brat: "Dylan, put that down! Right now, mister!" Kids these days.) Anyway, what do you think? Kungfu Grip Todd? It's awesome, right? Right?!