Big Decision

A while back, I posted a photo of some most perplexing jeans. Today I will explain the process for determining when it would be appropriate to wear those jeans. Behold:

{click for bigness}

Hope this clears things up.

Versus

This picture, combined with the one I posted yesterday, is my new inspiration:


It's like all metaphorical and stuff. But just to be clear, in this photo, I am the bearded dude and the world is the bunch of alligators. They are trying to kill me with their vicious jaws and dead eyes, but I am totally winning.

Unless I totally screw up. Then I'm toast.

I, Also, Am Not Pregnant

And I too am stressed. But thankfully, my brother Bryan posted this picture of a pair of jeans he came across in a thrift store:


If you can't read the pants, they say: "I'm ballen" and "No homo!"

Wow.

These pants are the pantsyest pants that have ever been pantsed. Seriously, this picture is getting me through the labyrinthine labyrinth of this and that which my life has become as of late.

There ae three Amazing Things going on here. Can you spot them?

First off, somebody took time to do this. This is Amazing Thing #1 and should be applauded forever and ever, hallelujah.

Amazing Thing #2 is that "ballin'," the shortened form of "balling," (to play basketball; to have wealth or financial security) is misspelled.

Amazing Thing #3 is obvious, the caveat of "No homo!" With an exclamation mark, no less. Like, he wrote "I'm ballen!" and then got worried that that sounded too gay and immediately pulled out his Sharpie and puff paint and scrawled "No homo!" on the other leg. Or he'd just done "I'm ballen," and got unsolicited dude attention or something, ran home and added in his disclaimer. So many questions...

Oh man. This brings me joy. What's helping you get through the day these days? Please share.