BRR Goes To the Movies - Step Brothers

Adam McKay and Will Ferrell, with an assist by the one and only John C. Reilly, have officially made the ultimate arrested development man-child movie. It's like Billy Madison married Happy Gilmore and their children had to live together as step-siblings or something. I think I laughed at least four times during this trailer. And this is the second time I've seen it. I love that they are playing these characters as if they were 13-15 years old. It's genius.

If I had my way, I'd probably see this in the Theater. Am I crazy? And what are your thoughts on Semi-Pro? For some reason I think it will not be all that funny. Hmmm?

I'm A Strong Lion

Patti (and now, apparently, Caitlin has hopped on the bandwagon) has been posting lists over at her blog. It's been fun. So fun, in fact, that I am totally going to rip her off. (Although she did get the idea from NaBloPoMo, so I don't feel all that bad.)

Every day in March I will post a list. I may post other stuff that is not list-related, above and beyond the one-a-day list, but once a day you will get a list. This I command! Are you excited? Did you pee a little?

Now, let's make this a little more interesting, shall we? I'm not going to post what each list is of. I'll let you guess. I know, crazy, right? Did I just blow your mind? Whoever can suss out the most at the end of the month gets a super- mega- ultra- rad prize which will be decided at some time in ... THE FUTURE!!!

Or is that dumb?

Let me know in the comments. If you guys think it's lame, I will totally ditch it. Quickly. Because you guys are smart. Smarter than me. I trust your judgement. You're probably the smartest and best-looking blog readers in the whole wide Internets. Seriously. I'm not just saying that. You guys are hot. If you could see me now you would see that I am licking my finger and putting it on your shoulder and then making a sizzling noise and then shaking my finger like I burned it on you. Because you are hot. Like fire.

PS: I totally ate it on the slippery sidewalk today and fell sideways and skinned my knee and banged my shoulder on the concrete. Sooo not cool. It hurt.


They Got Lost

First off, if you haven't seen tonight's episode of Lost yet, stop reading NOW! and come back tomorrow. There are some SPOILERS! in the list of links I'll be throwing at you, okay? Okay. You have been warned.

First off, I'd just like to point out the Dark UFO site and Entertainment Weekly's Doc Jensen recaps, both of which offer interesting theories that aren't completely bonkers. I subscribe to both feeds because I am what is typically referred to as a "gigantic nerd".

I'm not going to try and digest everything, just throw a few things at you. Ready? Steady. GO!

* Desmond was hoping the freighter contained "answers." Well, did it? I'd say "yes," as a lot of information was dumped into our brains tonight. The freighter also contained that one character actor with the big head and little skinny neck. You know, the one I always mistake for Joey Pants. That guy.

* Somebody's read Slaughterhouse Five, what with all the "unstuck in time"-iness of this episode. They've already name-checked that book in the series, right?

* Dr. Faraday (who I can't stop thinking of as Reed Richards ever since someone pointed out that the four "Freighties" personalities resembled those of comics' first family, the Fantastic Four) studies time travel, eh? That explains last episode's card game.

* And take a look at this nifty little piece of interestingness. This theory makes a whole lot of sense, especially since we have:

a) a vortex between Sydney and L.A., where Oceanic 815 was flying.

b) a vortex over the Sahara desert where our friend the second polar bear (two cages, one bear still on the island) was found.

and c) Another between Africa and America (where the Black Rock would have been sailing, right?) and another off the coast of Madagascar, where the journal of the Black Rock's officer, a certain Mr. Hanso, was found.


* And I have no idea why, but I've always thought that hollow earth theory fit in here somehow. I know, it's nuts. I'm just saying. Don't you think it's weird that this diagram looks a lot like this logo? I'm just saying.

* I don't care if he becomes a remorseless hired gun for Ben in the future, I love me some Sayid Jarrah.

* Next week's a Juliet episode with flashbacks, all of which take place on the island. And Penny's dad is in them. Hmmmm.

* I love this show to bits. I'm sure there will be some who take issue with the time travel stuff, but I don't care. It is awesome. Deal with it.


An Open Letter To the Bum Dog...

Dear Zach Braff,

Okay, so Scrubs was pretty funny, if forgettable. And Garden State was really good until it decided to be just another romantic drama rather than the quirky love story it stared out as and the soundtrack proved you're a man of taste and judgement. All around, I'd rate you like a "7" on the Decent, Level-Headed Human Being scale.

So how can you explain this freaking annoying Cottonelle ad?

Now, your voiceover work for Wendy's, I could understand that. A man's gotta eat, but this? Wow. I'm not sure if this is meant to be cute or funny or weird. Because it's none of them. Okay, it's weird, but the other two, no. Please, make the hurting stop.

Why, Braff? Why?



The Ghost Of Tom Joad

So I took one of those personality quizzes. This one was "what book are you." I got this:

You're The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck

You're mired in a deep depression that encompasses you and everyone you know. You're trying to get out of the depression, but your idea of help is, in itself, pretty sad. While some are convinced that this all has a deeper meaning, you're really just dull and tedious. And utterly obsessed with dust. You really need to focus on something other than dust. Your best moments center around turtles.

I'm not sure how to feel about this. Am I really "mired in a deep depression" or "dull and tedious"? Is it possible for one's psychology to be utterly wrecked by some online book quiz? Because... dang.

Go ahead and take the Book Quiz at your own risk. It will most likely destroy you.

Zoo Crimes

Is Ann Coulter part giraffe? Watch the first, I dunno, :30 or so of this (don't bother going any further, it's just stuff you already know: Katie Couric is annoying and Bill O'Reilly is a intolerable d-bag) :

And compare it with this:

If she is, in fact, half-giraffe, what's the other half? Crypt-keeper? Skeletor's sister? Discuss.


Wanna Hear A Song That's Gonna Rock Your Socks Off Like There Is No Tomorrow?

Then click right here. Oh yes. That's the stuff.

That Time Of the Month - Your Monthly Mix From the Big Red Robot

Wow, two estrus-themed posts in as many days. I think I need to watch some sports or something. Butch myself up. Can you tell I live in a house full of girls?

Anyway, it's mixtape time. I made this mix in honor of R-Diggity's (aka: the Castlerocker Who Never Updates His Blog) 30th b-day this last month.

I met Ryan way back in the halcyon days known as the Early Nineties, when the world was a simpler place. We met in a guitar class full of stoners and hippies, the both of us falling between/outside those all-too prevalent (and seemingly eternal) subcultures. We sat in our little corner and made fun of them, giving them all nicknames, of which the only one I can remember was "Monkey Boy".

Ryan has always been a big proponent of rock of the classic variety. Being raised by a folky-hippie sort of dad, I had rarely heard Pink Floyd, Hendrix or the Zeppelin of Led, until, that is, I befriended my fellow pale brother, Mr. Ryan C. Adams. (the "C" stands for "Coolest") Over corndogs and Cokes on overlong high school lunch breaks, we rocked and/or mellowed out. In disappearing McDonalds' in the shadow of the Stratosphere and in yellow Bravo trucks we planned our escape from whatever teenagers long so badly to escape.

And now we're in our 30's. Cuh-razy.

I titled the mix It's All Fuss from a line in Spoon's "Finer Feelings". I figured that that song's theme of looking for transformative love fit the people we were all those years ago. Also, it gave me the chance to point out that he's saying "fuss" and not dropping the "F-bomb."

Here's the cover artwork:

These are some letterpressed guys I found in a type drawer in college. We had an assignment to come up with some quotes on hope, then typeset and print them. This page contains the quote "I hope I don't look too goofy 30 years from now." by none other than yours truly. I thought it fit.

And here's the tracklist:

01. The Decemberists - "16 Military Wives"
02. Paul McCartney - "Eat At Home"
03. Black Mountain - "No Satisfaction"
04. The Jimi Hendrix Experience - "Spanish Castle Magic"
05. The White Stripes - "Bone Broke"
06. Queens Of the Stone Age - "No One Knows"
07. Led Zeppelin - "The Song Remains The Same"
08. Pearl Jam - "MFC"
09. Pink Floyd - "Let There Be More Light"
10. The Secret Machines - "The Road Leads Where It's Led"
11. The Shins - "So Says I"
12. The Beach Boys - "Funky Pretty" (Live)
13. Neil Young - "After the Garden"
14. Of Montreal - "Forecast Fascist Future"
15. David Bowie - "Panic In Detroit"
16. Stephen Malkmus - "Kindling For the Master"
17. Spoon - "Finer Feelings"

Ryan digs the classic rock so rather than show him how hip I am, I tried to keep some familiar artists in there, but went for deep album cuts rather than whatever you can hear on some Clear Channel Classic Rock Clone station. When I hear "Funky Pretty" or "Eat At Home" on the radio, I'll know my work is done. Basically, I wanted to make a mix that he would enjoy, so I sandwiched some songs similar to the classics in-between. I'm all about exposing people to new and interesting things. That's why I wear this trenchcoat, if you know what I mean.

I thin it's pretty good mix, but you can download it yourself and let me know if you agree.


Periods. Period.

I only caught about a half-hour of Tina Fey on SNL last night because I am a total featherweight and can't stay up past midnight anymore. (Plus, we drove down to Akron to hear Obama speak and waited in line for a while which left us a little tired.) Oh, the joys of bring in your 30's.

Candace and I did manage to catch this sketch though (before I passed out on the couch only to wake up around 4 a.m. all sore and disoriented) and both came really close to peeing ourselves.


This Town Is Built On Losers...


Growing up in Las Vegas is a weird thing. It's sort of like growing up in Disneyland and seeing all the scaffolding behind the majesty and the guy who plays Pluto with his head off smoking a cigarette and chatting up Snow White and realizing that the scale on the Matterhorn's all weird and that's why it looks so tall. Only, you know, more depressing.

Having been away for a few years now I can appreciate what other people see in this painted harlot of a town. I especially have grown to appreciate the run-down downtown, the Vegas that once was. In a city that demolishes anything once it's 30 years old, only to rebuild something more garish, more immediately dated, it's strangely comforting to see the rows of motels with cheesy script type and busted neon, all proudly advertising things that are best left unadvertised ("Adult Movies & Hourly Rates?" Um, no thanks.). It's the closest thing to history this "man with a mid-life crisis" of a town has.

It's sad and off-putting, these monuments to failure and indecency, but at least it has the guts to tell the truth in a town whose foundation is built entirely of lies, false promises and heartache. "Viva, Las Vegas."


BRR Goes To the Movies - The Happening

Okay, so this film has nothing to do with Beatniks. Bummer. I'll be honest, there was a time when M. Night Shammalamma-ding-dong's name would have been enough to seal the deal for me. I'd list Unbreakable in my Top 20-25 favorite films easily. Heck, I even liked the much-maligned (and yeah, not perfect) Signs. I stuck by Night. Then the lackluster The Village and the just plain terrible Lady In the Water (seriously, what was that? Ugh.) happened and now... I'm not so sure.

But let's look at the cast. First off, I don't mind Marky Mark. I thought his insane 9-11 firefighter character was one of the better parts of I Heart Huckabee's (I liked that movie) and he was in Three Kings which totally, completely ruled. So, yeah, he's not a deal-breaker.

Also starring John Leguizamo, who I really can take or leave. I actually prefer his dramatic roles to his comedic ones because he is sort of annoying. Be honest, you think so too. There. Doesn't that feel better?

And then there's Zooey Deschanel, who I will admit to having a slight crush on. There, I said it. She's cute, huh? I honestly haven't seen a bad performance from her despite the fact that she's been in some pretty atrocious films (um, The New Guy and Failure To Launch, anybody?). She was great in Almost Famous which is either in the Top 10 or just outside of it and she was pretty solid in Elf despite her playing the sarcastic hipster girl that she has perfected. Seriously, it should say on her business card: "Zooey Deschanel: That Sarcastic Hipster Girl From That One Movie."

Also, she's recorded an album with BRR fave M. Ward (again with the M. names, hmmm) as She & Him (their album, Volume 1 is out soooon, although if you are trained in the way of the ninja you should be able to find a leaked version floating somewhere in the ether of the Internets. But you didn't hear that from me.), so there's that. The girl can sing, for reals, though.

As much as a character-driven survival horror film appeals to me, and as much as I want M. Night to redeem himself, I'm giving this a Queue but reserve the right to promote it to Rental if the advance reviews are favorable.

What do you think?

Last Of the Mohicans

As of right now, my mind is currently being utterly ravaged by the sheer skull-bending radness/terribleness of this. It's like someone tore off the top of my skull, overfilled it with amazing and rawk! and stapled it back on but only after blindfolding me and spinning me around 375 times, like you'd do for a highly-caffeinated, over-sugared kid who's about to pin the tail on a unicorn donkey at a legendary birthday party. In Downtown Radical Town. In the Summer Of Incredible.

I remember when I was in kindergarten and I was obsessed with all those excellent 80's action shows (my love for Knight Rider and The Greatest American Hero are well-documented on this very worldwideweblog) and every time my mom cut my hair I would beg and plead to have her give me a B.A. haircut. She would try and tell me she didn't know how to do it, so I tried to explain it to her. "It's really easy. Just take the clippers down here like this and cut off a little above my ears but leave a strip in the middle and some over my ears and I will look so cool! Please?!"

She still claimed she couldn't do it. If I didn't know better, I might just think she was playing dumb to get herself out of giving her son a very embarrassing (for her, ultra-rad for me) haircut.

I kinda still want a mohawk. I bet I could do it myself. Where'd I put those clippers?


In Case Of Fire, Post Beck

If you are reading this, the unthinkable has happened: I am totally stuck and can't think of anything to post. So you get videos. Beck videos.

First off we have the video for "Nausea" from Beck's excellent album, the Information. It has puppets:

Next we have Beck in a mariachi outfit performing the Guero b-side track "Clap Hands" on Saturday Night Live. There are also puppets in this one.

Finally, we get a little PG-13 with the video for "Sexx Laws" from my favorite Beck album, Midnight Vultures which has so much shimmy in it it should have warning label. It's the album Prince would make if he watched Blade Runner too many times. Sadly, no puppets. Just Jack Black. And appliances getting freaky with each other. You have been warned.

And there you have it, another catastrophe averted with the help of Beck. And YouTube, crutch of lazy bloggers all over the Internets.


Tiny! Purple! Ghost!

What is the Tiny Purple Ghost?


Babies Will Choke On Indiana Jones

I needs me some of those Indiana Jones Legos. Maybe not this many Indiana Jones Legos, but I needs me some. What are your thoughts on a grown-@$$ man spending his hard-earned cash on some fairly rad Indiana Jones Legos?

Pop Quiz!

Which of the following sentences most definitively proves that I am not as young as I think I am:

* "I think I sprained my ankle bringing that 12 pack of Diet Coke up the stairs."

* "Boy, that purple Listerine really works well. My teeth feel so clean."

{ or }

* "Hey you kids, get off of my lawn! I am trying to watch Matlock / The Golden Girls / Murder, She Wrote while preparing to go stand in line at the post office/bank/grocery store/funeral parlor so I can complain at how slow the service is because I have nothing else in my sad, empty life! Criminy!"

Please answer in the comments section.


Suffer For Fashion

If I were a woman, I would never shop at a place named "the Dress Barn." Why anyone thought it was a good idea to make women think of livestock when they're trying on appliqu├ęd sweaters and stonewashed Mom Jeans (what I imagine they sell at "the Dress Barn") is beyond me.

Also, I would also not shop at the Fashion Bug. I would, however, shop at "Chico's". It sounds exotic.


POW! - Handlight


After seeing this, I really wished I'd just taken a picture of the lights, without the hand. This is a waterfall wall in front of the mall at what used to be the Aladdin but is now the Planet Hollywood hotel in Vegas. I made my family walk across the street because I thought it would make a cool Polaroid.


By the way, for those of you who commented yesterday, I will skip 10,000 B.C. entirely. I guess it was teh crackrocks talking. Thank you for talking me through it. My brain is grateful.


BRR Goes To the Movies - I Need Your Help On This One

By now, you've most likely seen commercials for this. I'm sort of torn on it. On one hand, it's from the people who brought us the terribleness of Independence Day and [shudder] that Godzilla remake, both of which are the textbook examples of Terrible Big Dumb Sci-Fi Action, perfected this last summer with Michael Bay's Transformers movie, which at least had enough sense to have John Turturro in it.

On the other hand, this looks fairly awesome. sure, it's Big and Dumb, but it looks, I dunno, sort of fun?Am I smoking teh crackrocks? Let me know.

Right now, I'd say Rental, but who knows.


Tell Me What You Sayid

Huston, you are totally going to love Lost tonight. That is all I am going to say. For now...


Holy crap! Happy Valentines Day, nerds of the Internets, the new Indiana Jones trailer is up for ...And the Kingdom Of the Crystal Skull... and it looks, yeah, pretty freaking rad. I guess I know where I'll be on May 22 - chillin' with Indy.


Totally unrelated, but does Shia LeBouf's (or as I refer to him: "the LeBouf") name drive anybody else crazy? Because once I hear or read it, my brain physically cannot stop repeating it. This only happens with his name. Well, and Tony Shalhoub. It's sort of like this:

Only with "LeBoufLeBouf"/"ShalhoubShalhoub" instead of "MalkovichMalkovich". I'm nuts, BTW.

If you haven't seen Being John Malkivoch, you really should. It is an pretty dang excellent film. The end.


It Came From the Stars

This seems like it should be big news, doesn't it? Especially for someone whose whole life is based on a foundation of lightsabers and falcons of the millennium variety (which, any general contractor will tell you, is no way to build a building, though it's worked out pretty well, I guess). I mean, it's a New. Star. Wars. Movie. Like, in theaters and everything. I feel like I should feel some sort of excitement for this announcement rather than this creeping dread mixed with unexplainable sadness, like millions of voices crying out at once and suddenly silenced.

What do you think? Should I stay away like it's some sort of plague or should I be cautiously optimistic? Keep in mind I thought the other Clone Wars cartoons were cool, but also sort of crap. Discuss.

Is It a Crisis Or A Boring Change? (I'm Betting On the Former)

I'm on a sort of comics hiatus right now (as far as purchasing with any regularity goes, economic factors and whatnot), but I will be picking up Grant Morrison and J.G. Jones' Final Crisis miniseries from DC. I already expressed my love for their Marvel Boy miniseries (which, once I thought more on it, is a slightly more serious predecessor of Nextwave, what with both series taking every insane facet of the Marvel U and slamming them together repeatedly. What do you think? Am I crazy?) in this week's Sunday Comics, and it will take a pack of wild dogs or at least a couple of ill-tempered alley cats to keep me away from it.

Why? Because Grant Morrison's totally pwns me, that's why.

Just check this Newsarama interview where Jones describes the latest in a long line of Crises it as "a big over-arching time trip," that stars off with the first human in the DCU, Anthro (that's him with the stone ax talking with the time- and space- traveling New God, Metron) and ends with Kamandi, the Last Boy On Earth. Also, loads of Fourth World goodness sprinkled throughout.

Now that, ladies and gents, is why I read comics.


Dumb Angel

I'm not sure if you all know of my love for the Beach Boys. Actually, it borders on obsession. It's died down quite a bit from where it was (mainly because I managed to find almost every album I wanted in one form or another), but for a while there, it was pretty scary.

The Holy Grail of my Beach Boys collection obsession has been the acquisition of Dennis Wilson's long out-of-print solo album, Pacific Ocean Blue. Of all the late-period Beach Boys albums (Holland, Sunflower, Carl & the Passions: So Tough, his tracks on Friends & 20/20), his have the most soul and melancholy. Seriously, take a listen to "Cuddle Up" from So Tough and man ... just ... man.

Unfortunately, the record is normally going anywhere from $30-$50 on teh eBays, which, I'm sorry to say, is just too dang much to pay for a 30-year-old LP. And I can't figure out this whole Torrents thing and those punk kids won't stay off of my lawn and what's the deal with this hop-hop music? [sigh] I'm getting old.

But what's this! It's getting reissued?! With tracks from his never-finished Bambu album! Holy crap! It's like the universe remembered it was my birthday or something!



And Now, Your Sunday Comics Moment Of Joy:

From Grant Morrison & J.G. Jones' MarvelBoy miniseries. It's your typical "Insect Boy From Space Meets Psychologically Damaged Dominatrix Daughter Of A Megalomaniacal Villain And Together They Blow Up Sizable Chunks Of Major US Cities And Kill Some Monsters."

It's heartwarming stuff.


POW! - Grandaddy?


Another Museum Of Natural History shot. Man, Cavemen were ugly. No wonder they died out, right?

In other news, it looks like Polaroid is discontinuing instant film. Truly this is a sad day. I guess I need to start stockpiling. Insert frowny face emoticon here:


Pop Quiz!!!

The phrase "Arctic Blast" refers to:

A. A new, "extreme" Gatorade™ sports drink flavor that tastes like blueberries and awesome.

B. A fatality move performed by Sub-Zero in the gloriously violent arcade game, Mortal Kombat.

C. What the weather people on the news are forecasting for this weekend's weather.

{ or }

D. A mid-70's Avengers member best known for his catchphrase: "Is it cold in here, or is it just me? Because it's probably me. Because I have cold powers. Oh yeah."


Correct Answer: "C. What the weather people on the news are forecasting for this weekend's weather." Weep for me. No, seriously, weep for me because I can't, I physically can't. My tear ducts are frozen shut.

BRR Goes To the Movies - Destroy All Monsters!

Chris Haley, Big Red Robot blog buddy and Superman-lover extraordinare, posted the teaser poster for this movie a while back on his blog. I had mentioned that I was more than a little underwhelmed by the first Hellboy movie (though I freaking love Hellboy/B.P.R.D. comics to little itty bits). I thought the whole Liz Sherman/Hellboy love thing was unnecessary, the villains were not as interesting or scary as they should have been and the story was sort of weak. Also, David Hyde Peirce as the voice of Abe Sapien? Uh, yeah, about that... no thanks. Sorry, I have this bias against anyone related to Frasier. Yuck.

Still, a large portion of that movie was setting up the premise, which is my least favorite part of any comic book movie adaptation (which is why I was bored stiff through the first Spider-Man movie: his name is Spider-Man. He's a man. With spider powers. We get it. Move on.) and now that the concept of the B.P.R.D. as an elite paranormal defense team with Hellboy as their leader is established, it looks like we can have some fun.

We saw the trailer before Cloverfield (did I mention that Cloverfield was awesome? Everything Spielberg's War Of the Worlds tried to be but failed at?) and Candace - who sits through mediocre movies where Ron Perlman paints himself red and punches monsters in the jaw with a giant fake stone fist because she loves me and tolerates my love of the radness - even leaned over as it was wrapping up and said "It looks a lot better than the last one." So, yeah. That proves it. 9 out of 10 wives who don't really like comic book movies all that much thin that this "looks better than the first one."

Mr. Haley reported all-out monster-punching action as being a talking point by the producers and director Guillermo Del Toro (whose heightened profile after the success of Pan's Labyrinth - which I still want to see - lend this installment that much more weight), and if this film delivers it, I'm in.

I'd Rent It, at the very least. How about you?


I Don't Sleep, I Dream

A while back I posted that I was going to give away a couple of mixtapes to people who commented on what the title of my "It's Saturday Morning and I Don't Want To Get Out Of Bed" mix, saying that I would pick a couple of winners and mail them mixtapes.

This never actually happened.

If it were up to me, you would all get handcrafted mixtapes with super-sweet packaging delivered straight to your door by the always-reliable United States Postal Service every single day of your life just for reading. Because we're homies like that. Unfortunately, due to the time and expense involved, this is not a viable option. So, I'm settling for the next best thing. Instead I am going to post a link and artwork which you can download and put on your iDevice, burn to CD, transfer to wax cylinder, 8-track tape, reel-to-reel magnetic tape, etc. I'll also put a heading in the sidebar with links for each month as well as for any other mixes I may make along the way, sort of like Ben has been doing for our group over at Mixtapery.



So here it is, January's mixtape, Bed Is For Sleeping: (<--- click on the link to download!)

(click for biggification)

01 Cornershop - Sleep On The Left Side
02 Belle & Sebastian - Sleep The Clock Around
03 Cake - When You Sleep
04 The Postal Service - Sleeping In
05 Rogue Wave - The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite
06 The Minders - Sleeping Through Everything
07 The Beach Boys - I Went To Sleep
08 Radiohead - (Nice Dream)
09 Yo La Tengo - Little Eyes
10 Harry Nilsson - Are You Sleeping?
11 The Beatles - I'm Only Sleeping
12 David Byrne - Amnesia
13 Chappaquiddick Skyline (Joe Pernice) - The Two Of You Sleep
14 Bonnie "Prince" Billy & Matthew Sweeney - Bed Is For Sleeping
15 The Cloud Room - We Sleep In The Ocean


***ETA: Did this work out for anybody?

Shaken, Stirred, etc.

I don't care how you look at it, Quantum Of Solace is a dumb name for a movie, especially a Bond movie. I know, like, a lot of words and stuff and I can't figure out what the heck it even means. Sounds scientific? Should I bring my beakers and Bunsen burner with me to the theater? Will I be quizzed after viewing the film? Is it acceptable to bring live shellfish to a doctor's office? So many questions.

I tried to be all contrary and say, "It's not that bad of a title," but we had Entertainment Tonight on in the background (don't worry, we changed it quickly) and they mentioned it by name a few times. It sounded stupid. Like, really stupid, like it's trying way too hard. I's like Deciliter Of Loneliness or Hectare Of Sadness or something. Or like it will be two hours of James Bond looking wistfully out a window overlooking a beautiful beach while stroking a kitten, sipping tea and listening to Dashboard Confessional and softly crying.

And still I want to see it. And how could I not? Casino Royale ruled most egregiously. That parkour scene! Freaking incredible! Or when he has to stop himself from having a heart attack! Nice! I love when I can say, roughly 15 minutes into a movie, "Okay, I love this movie." That's a great feeling. (One I keenly felt while I was watching Cloverfield over the weekend. That movie rules, by the way.)

I would have named it Bloodhammer or Thunderstroke or Shatterfist or DeathyMcBloodkill or something. Something with some "oomph!", y'know? With some man parts, if you know what I mean. Something that sounds like it could also be the name of an Eastern European black metal band.

It's a terrible name, right? Am I exaggerating its suckiness? What would you name it? Who would win in a fight: Mayor McCheese or the Hamburglar? Is anything more delicious than bacon? And finally, dude, where's my car? These are all questions that this movie title brings with it. Only you, the beloved Internets, can answer them, because I have to go watch Lost.


And Now, A Public Service Announcement

It's Super Tuesday for those of you living in one of the 24 states voting or holding a caucus (see Patti, I didn't use it as a verb! Yay for grammar!), so get out and vote if you are able. We don't vote here in Ohio until next month, which makes me sad, but hopefully, it won't all be over by then and I can do what I can to make sure I can say, "Well, I did my part and voted for the other guy, so, yeah. Not my fault."

A quick glance at my sidebar will show you that I've obviously come out of the closet on who I'm hoping to see in the White House come next year, and while I'm not saying you should vote the same way that I do, I really think that you should vote the same way that I do.

If you're undecided or unsure, take a look at Obama's stand on the issues, his record, his speeches, his character, his campaign - which has been the definition of class - and if you haven't read The Audacity Of Hope, well, you should, regardless of who you're favoring come November, and vote responsibly. If you're not registered, get registered. I installed the little Rock the Vote widget in the sidebar after registering through them a while back, so there's that. It's insanely easy to register.

I think it's pretty unanimous that this election is an important one. Do what you can and vote for the person you think will help fix our nation, which, despite its flaws, is still one of the greatest, if not the greatest, place to live, work and pursue happiness. Let's keep it that way.

***(Cue patriotic music and video of flag waving majestically in the background while I magically morph into an eagle, grab a bunch of arrows in my claw and catch a ribbon in my mouth with vaguely secret-society-ish Latin inscribed on it. Now that, my friends, is some patriotic crap right there.)***

I've tried to keep this blog as apolitical/secular as possible, as I know what it's like to be constantly maligned for one's political views or religion (ah, the plight of a Mormon Democrat), but I feel like I need to say something today.

And now I have. And I think that, as they say, is that.

And now, as a "thank you" for sitting through my little civics lesson, here's a Public Service Announcement from the Real American Heroes:

"And knowing is half the battle. Yo, Joe!"


This Just In!

NASA is apparently beaming the Beatles song "Across the Universe" into outer space. If outer space responds by saying that they would prefer to "hear that new Paula Abdul song, you know, the one she did with the guy from Idol?", I will personally lead the war with outer space.

Who is with me?


POW! - Eye Of the Tiger


It's an eye. Of a tiger.

From the room in the Las Vegas Museum Of Natural History that is full of stuffed dead animals.


Sad If I Lost It

WARNING!: I ramble on at length about Lost today. Sorry, but it's not as if you didn't see it coming, right?.

Oh man, so that rocked, right? For those of you who aren't caught up, I'll throw up a Spoiler Warning right here. So stop. Or it will be ruined. Forever. Also, If you want to dive into the craziness of being obsessed with this TV show, start clicking the links. Otherwise, just ignore this post. I'll post something about my nipples or something later (or tomorrow). You have been warned.

So, yeah, a Hurley episode. Can you think of a better way to kick off the (sadly, abbreviated) season? I really can't. Also, nice denim jacket, dude. It matches the bad@$$ Camaro. I love Hurley. Even emotionally/mentally battered Hurley.

Okay, so "the Oceanic Six"? Jack, Kate, Hurley, whoever was in the coffin. Who else? Who was Kate referring to when she said she had to get back to "him"? I don't think it's Sawyer (as he went with Locke), but anybody else want to venture a guess?

Ana Lucia's partner. Again with the interconnectedness of the Oceanic survivors. And how about that whole "Charlie swimming in the interrogation room" thing? What's on his hand? Dude!

The "lawyer," Mr. Abaddon. Um, yeah. Nice name. Did anybody else wonder if this guy was "related" to Mr. Eko's brother, if you know what I mean? I heard a rumor that when he left, a trail of smoke was briefly visible, but I haven't been able to find any confirmation. Yet.

Jacob's creepy cabin? And the freaky-deaky whispers? Aw, hecks yeah. But who was in that chair? And whose eye was that? (Does it look sort of like Desmond in that picture? Or is it just me?) And Locke just happened to be the one who found Hurley? Hmmm.

And I'm probably reading a lot into this, but Hurley sure is able to alter his perception throughout this episode, isn't he? Counting to five and things he doesn't want to see (but probably should) disappear? Hmmm.

Charlie! Dead but here = um, okay. I've heard rumors that Shannon and Boone will make appearances in this season, and now I guess we know how that may play out, don't we?

I [heart] john Locke. And dang! Jack got crazy, didn't he? He's always been a bit of a controlling maniac, but whatever happened to "Do no harm"? Hardcore, Chuck.

So, timeline-wise, this flash-forward takes place before the season 3 finale, as Jack hasn't gone completely Kaczynski yet. You have to wonder if Hurley hasn't just set Jack down th path we saw him on on in the finale. And what is this secret that they're lying about and unable to discuss? This is why I love this show. There's a lot of whining about the lack of closure or questions being answered, but that's the point of this show. Once you start explaining everything little mystery, it gets a lot less special. Right, Wolverine?

And the episode ends a sall great episodes of Lost should, with a nice, fat cliffhanger, as the crazy Oregon guy from Rescue Dawn parachutes in. Nice.

And speaking of cliffhangers, next week's episode, "Confirmed Dead," is the first (?) written by Brian K. Vaughn, an excellent comic writer (and native Clevelander) who joined the staff for the last half of season 3. He's co-writing with Cloverfield (which I should be seeing this weekend, barring any biblical-plague-esque ice storms) Drew Goddard. I've bee reading Vaughn's Y: the Last Man, and man, it's like he was born to write this show. Large cast, lots of mystery, huge cliffhangers, interweaving plots, clever dialogue... sound familiar?

Also, I'm sorry, but even the constant tease of an exclusive Lost clip couldn't get me to watch Eli Stone, especially when I knew the clips would be up on YouTube by today. In fact, here it is.

Anyway, that's enough Lost. Did anybody else notice anything I missed? What was your favorite part? Did you sit through Eli Stone? Was it as bad as it looked?