Something To Think About

As bad as life can get, at least you're not this guy:

Or this guy:

Or this guy:

Oh, beloved internets, how did we survive without you for so long? I mean, where else can you get pictures like this? Books? I think not. Those librarians (or as I like to call them: "the Birkenstock Brain Police") and their high-falutin' ideals on what is and isn't "literature" would never let their precious Dewey Decimal System be sullied by a book on unfortunate facial hair, mullets and orange Elvis impersonators. Trust me on this one. I mean, I went to the trouble of making the book (well, okay I just stapled all my loose pages of yellowed print-outs, photocopies and scribbled, half-intelligible ramblings/rantings together between two pieces of construction paper with the title: At Least You're Not This Guy: Unfortunate Facial Hair, Mullets and Orange Elvises; Why America Is Greatest There Is - A Chronicle of Radness In the 21st Century. Also Includes Some Awesome Recipes. And An Exclusive Interview With the Ghost Of El Santo. By Dylan "Aw Hecks Yeah" Todd, Professional Breakdance Aficionado and Collector Of Lando Calrissian Action Figures), the least they can do is make it available to the public. I mean, come on! I pay my taxes! I eat my vegetables! I can eat 23 Oreos in one sitting! What are you uptight NPR-listening-to ninnies afraid of? A little truth? Is that too much for your sweater-vest-clad soul to digest? Huh!?

Fascists.

Pretty Persuasion

Now I'm not saying I'm planning anything, but let's just say, hypothetically speaking of course, that I were to to keep track of the top ten commenters on this blog for the month of June. You know, just keep a running tally of those people who put their proverbial money where their proverbial keyboards are, so to speak, and have their proverbial voice heard proverbially on the important things, like who would win in a fight between Dracula and El Santo.*

It wouldn't be totally out of character for me to, say, give a super sweet mix CD to those top ten commenters at the end of the month, would it? Hypothetically speaking, of course. I'm just saying, it's not like there's no precedence, right?

*(El Santo wins... this is no contest, really. El Santo always wins. Except versus M.O.D.O.K. That'd be a tough one to call. Let us pray it never happens. Truly this would shake the very heavens)

Is It Just Me...

Or does this look like the Best. Movie. Ever?

It's just me, isn't it?