11.29.2008
11.27.2008
Thanksgiving Is Great ... Unless Yr A Turkey
I am sick. Actually, both Candace and I are sick. It sucks. We're pulling out of it, but it's been a crappy few days for us here in Todd Land. But hey, it's Thanksgiving, so I'm not going to be all whiny. I'm gonna be thankful. Because my life is excellent. I'm not bragging. It just is.
So to my family, friends and stalkers (and those of you that I'm stalking - Hello! That was me in your bushes! You have very nice pajamas! They fit me perfectly! Exclamation marks!!!), thanks for being who you are and allowing me to do likewise. You're great. Hope you had a great day and that you didn't eat so much that it made you wish you were dead.
Keep it classy, Internets. Peace.
11.24.2008
Tears Of A Clone (or) How The Clone Wars Ruined My Life
So, this weekend we watched this movie:
And it pretty much ruined my life.
See, up until this weekend, my Star Wars Nerdiness had largely gone into remission. Sure, I had played the Lego video game. And Knights Of the Old Republic 2 (but sadly couldn't beat it and finally gave up and walked away). And I watched the first two films with my four-year-old recently. Oh, and I got a sort of sick glee when that same four-year-old requested she be Princess Leia for Halloween. And yeah, it was sort of my idea to dress our year-and-a-half daughter like Darth Vader.
But trust me, this is mild compared to the depths of my nerdery for the Star Wars Universe.
I can name a dozen Star Wars species off the top of my head. Same thing for planets. I have read roughly one bazillion books from the Thrawn Trilogy (where an alien mastermind Imperial Grand Admiral steps out of the shadows to terrorize the Original Trilogy heroes and the newly-formed New Republic) to all the Tales Of... anthologies (Tales of the Mos Eisley Catina, Tales Of the Bounty Hunters, and Tales Of Jabba's Palace, all containing backstories to the characters who inhabit those brief scenes in the Original Trilogy) to the entirety of the New Jedi Order series (where an extra-galactic threat - the merciless Yuzzhan Vong - challenges the Original Trilogy heroes, their kids and all the new Jedi trained by Luke Skywalker and his wife). I have bought action figures, lusted after a replica of Luke Skywalker's Bespin fatigues and hosted/played/gamemastered a Star Wars Role Playing group. I read the comics, magazines and played (pretty badly) the trading card game. I saw all three Prequels at midnight showings. I was (literally) a card-carrying member of the Star Wars Fan Club for like three years. After the age of 20. I have a copy of a copy of a bootleg video recording of the infamous Star Wars Holiday Special.
I loved that universe and the limitless possibilities for fun, myth and adventure it promises. But I was done with all of that. I sold off the books, RPG materials, boxed up the toys for future generations. I don't own either Trilogy on DVD. Beyond the odd tug to write an Oceans Eleven knock-off starring Lando Calrissian, I couldn't tell you the last time I seriously thought about the Star Wars Universe; it's rules, vocabulary, mechanics and possibilities. I mean, I'm a grown-@$$ man, fer cryeye. I don't have time for this stuff.
I was (mostly) cured. Whole. Free.
And then I saw this dang movie. This cartoon that is just a glorified pilot for the Cartoon Network series. The same movie that got a whopping 19% positive reviews (ouch!) over on Rotten Tomatoes. This goofy cartoon with wisecracking battle droids, wooden CGI acting and a big gay Hutt.
But guess what? I don't care. I really liked it. Why? Because it was fun! And fun is something the Star Wars Universe has been missing since, well, since Return Of the Jedi (which is still a little ponderous at times, nowhere near as freewheeling as Empire or most of A New Hope).
The Prequels were too busy trying to be epic and mythic and the fun suffered for it. As much as the Original Trilogy was based on mythic structures (and it is, as a million high school essays on Joseph Campbell written by people like me - but not me, sadly - will attest), it merely provided the framework for adventure. The Prequels try to hint at it with banter that ultimately falls flat on its face, but Lucas is too drunk on his own Capital-"i"-Importance to allow it to really come to the fore. Remember, Empire and Jedi were both helmed and written by somebody not named "George Lucas."
And well, you can see how that worked out.
Even the previous Cartoon Network Clone Wars series by Samurai Jack guru Genndy Tartakovsky (whose name is impossible to spell without Wikipedia. And that's a scientific fact.) were a little too obsessed with their kewlness to really be "fun." They were cool, but not fun.
But this version, I dunno, I really liked it. It made me want more. Is that wrong? As I watched Obi-Wan and a bunch of Troopers jump out of those awesome drop ships, I caught myself thinking about how much fun it would be to play in an RPG campaign set in the Clone Wars. To be, like a Jedi General or something fighting off Separatist forces on Mon Calamari? Or a smuggler with a heart of gold stealing supplies from the Trade Federation and giving them to besieged communities? See? See how nerdy this gets?
I checked to see if I could watch any more episodes online (which I can, but not, um, legally). Then I cruised the Star Wars toys at Target (Okay, I always do that, but still). Then I checked out the Star Wars section at Barnes & Noble and, well, that's when things fell apart.
I saw the cover to this book and said, "Dang it. Jedi pulp? Oh man, I want to read this." I started weeping openly. In the middle of the store. Some old lady asked me if I was okay. I told her it was all Jar Jar's fault and she just backed away slowly as I writhed on the floor in agony. It was a mess.
Three hours later, I managed to pull myself together enough to made my way upstairs to the kids' section where Candace and the girls were browsing. I wiped my face clear of the tears and told Candace, "I think I want to start reading Star Wars books again." which felt like telling her, "I think I want to start snorting heroin."
To which she replied, very matter-of-factly, "Um, okay." Which is incredibly cool (she really is awesome), but at the same time unbelievably reckless. Because this could easily escalate to weekly pizza and gaming sessions in the living room again (Okay, probably not, but still). So yeah, I'm gonna read Coruscant Nights: Jedi Twilight and the other two in the series. And I'll probably read the Legacy Of the Force series because I gotta see what happens to the Solo kids.
Because I have the sickness again. And it's all The Clone Wars' fault.
And it pretty much ruined my life.
See, up until this weekend, my Star Wars Nerdiness had largely gone into remission. Sure, I had played the Lego video game. And Knights Of the Old Republic 2 (but sadly couldn't beat it and finally gave up and walked away). And I watched the first two films with my four-year-old recently. Oh, and I got a sort of sick glee when that same four-year-old requested she be Princess Leia for Halloween. And yeah, it was sort of my idea to dress our year-and-a-half daughter like Darth Vader.
But trust me, this is mild compared to the depths of my nerdery for the Star Wars Universe.
I can name a dozen Star Wars species off the top of my head. Same thing for planets. I have read roughly one bazillion books from the Thrawn Trilogy (where an alien mastermind Imperial Grand Admiral steps out of the shadows to terrorize the Original Trilogy heroes and the newly-formed New Republic) to all the Tales Of... anthologies (Tales of the Mos Eisley Catina, Tales Of the Bounty Hunters, and Tales Of Jabba's Palace, all containing backstories to the characters who inhabit those brief scenes in the Original Trilogy) to the entirety of the New Jedi Order series (where an extra-galactic threat - the merciless Yuzzhan Vong - challenges the Original Trilogy heroes, their kids and all the new Jedi trained by Luke Skywalker and his wife). I have bought action figures, lusted after a replica of Luke Skywalker's Bespin fatigues and hosted/played/gamemastered a Star Wars Role Playing group. I read the comics, magazines and played (pretty badly) the trading card game. I saw all three Prequels at midnight showings. I was (literally) a card-carrying member of the Star Wars Fan Club for like three years. After the age of 20. I have a copy of a copy of a bootleg video recording of the infamous Star Wars Holiday Special.
I loved that universe and the limitless possibilities for fun, myth and adventure it promises. But I was done with all of that. I sold off the books, RPG materials, boxed up the toys for future generations. I don't own either Trilogy on DVD. Beyond the odd tug to write an Oceans Eleven knock-off starring Lando Calrissian, I couldn't tell you the last time I seriously thought about the Star Wars Universe; it's rules, vocabulary, mechanics and possibilities. I mean, I'm a grown-@$$ man, fer cryeye. I don't have time for this stuff.
I was (mostly) cured. Whole. Free.
And then I saw this dang movie. This cartoon that is just a glorified pilot for the Cartoon Network series. The same movie that got a whopping 19% positive reviews (ouch!) over on Rotten Tomatoes. This goofy cartoon with wisecracking battle droids, wooden CGI acting and a big gay Hutt.
But guess what? I don't care. I really liked it. Why? Because it was fun! And fun is something the Star Wars Universe has been missing since, well, since Return Of the Jedi (which is still a little ponderous at times, nowhere near as freewheeling as Empire or most of A New Hope).
The Prequels were too busy trying to be epic and mythic and the fun suffered for it. As much as the Original Trilogy was based on mythic structures (and it is, as a million high school essays on Joseph Campbell written by people like me - but not me, sadly - will attest), it merely provided the framework for adventure. The Prequels try to hint at it with banter that ultimately falls flat on its face, but Lucas is too drunk on his own Capital-"i"-Importance to allow it to really come to the fore. Remember, Empire and Jedi were both helmed and written by somebody not named "George Lucas."
And well, you can see how that worked out.
Even the previous Cartoon Network Clone Wars series by Samurai Jack guru Genndy Tartakovsky (whose name is impossible to spell without Wikipedia. And that's a scientific fact.) were a little too obsessed with their kewlness to really be "fun." They were cool, but not fun.
But this version, I dunno, I really liked it. It made me want more. Is that wrong? As I watched Obi-Wan and a bunch of Troopers jump out of those awesome drop ships, I caught myself thinking about how much fun it would be to play in an RPG campaign set in the Clone Wars. To be, like a Jedi General or something fighting off Separatist forces on Mon Calamari? Or a smuggler with a heart of gold stealing supplies from the Trade Federation and giving them to besieged communities? See? See how nerdy this gets?
I checked to see if I could watch any more episodes online (which I can, but not, um, legally). Then I cruised the Star Wars toys at Target (Okay, I always do that, but still). Then I checked out the Star Wars section at Barnes & Noble and, well, that's when things fell apart.
I saw the cover to this book and said, "Dang it. Jedi pulp? Oh man, I want to read this." I started weeping openly. In the middle of the store. Some old lady asked me if I was okay. I told her it was all Jar Jar's fault and she just backed away slowly as I writhed on the floor in agony. It was a mess.
Three hours later, I managed to pull myself together enough to made my way upstairs to the kids' section where Candace and the girls were browsing. I wiped my face clear of the tears and told Candace, "I think I want to start reading Star Wars books again." which felt like telling her, "I think I want to start snorting heroin."
To which she replied, very matter-of-factly, "Um, okay." Which is incredibly cool (she really is awesome), but at the same time unbelievably reckless. Because this could easily escalate to weekly pizza and gaming sessions in the living room again (Okay, probably not, but still). So yeah, I'm gonna read Coruscant Nights: Jedi Twilight and the other two in the series. And I'll probably read the Legacy Of the Force series because I gotta see what happens to the Solo kids.
Because I have the sickness again. And it's all The Clone Wars' fault.
11.22.2008
11.19.2008
Seriously, Why Didn't I Think Of This Before?
I have a few ideas for posts brewing in the old noggin, but unfortunately, I don't know which one to start with. Or which one would be worth reading, for that matter. So, I turn to you, dear reader. Cast your vote in the comments section and choose which long-form post will next grace the face of this, my little corner of the Internet.
Here's your choices on things you can hear me rattle on on and on and on about:
* Rolling Stone just released their 100 Greatest Singers list. Hear me get all whiny about it. Expect more than a little negativity to get directed toward Steve Perry.
* An essay entitled Mike Allred, Madman and Mormonism, wherein I look at how the cartoonist's faith has informed his work. And if it's a good idea for it to.
* A Random Record Review from my iTunes library. Or should this be a recurring thing?
* A post about Fringe, although it might just be better to do a wrap-up once the season ends.
* A post wherein I talk about the Spice Girls, alien abduction, Stan Lee's hairpiece and the Code Of Hammurabi while simultaneously dropping nuggets about my adolescence and deep-seated desire in the mid-80's to be a professional breakdancer but couldn't because I was living in rural Utah and didn't really know how to breakdance. It would be like Footloose only with more tractor chicken-racing, a lot less dancing, and a scene where I vaporize the alien intruders with Bootsy Collins' Bop Gun. Also, bologna appears somehow. Maybe as a overarching theme.
* Pie.
* Um, anything else that you really want me to blab about. Seriously, I could use the incentive to come up with something to write about. But make it sort of easy. I'm pretty lazy. Actually, if you choose this option, give me one word to start with and I can go from there. Sort of like Miss Litt's class in high school, right Ryan? That would be awesome. Thanks.
Here's your choices on things you can hear me rattle on on and on and on about:
* Rolling Stone just released their 100 Greatest Singers list. Hear me get all whiny about it. Expect more than a little negativity to get directed toward Steve Perry.
* An essay entitled Mike Allred, Madman and Mormonism, wherein I look at how the cartoonist's faith has informed his work. And if it's a good idea for it to.
* A Random Record Review from my iTunes library. Or should this be a recurring thing?
* A post about Fringe, although it might just be better to do a wrap-up once the season ends.
* A post wherein I talk about the Spice Girls, alien abduction, Stan Lee's hairpiece and the Code Of Hammurabi while simultaneously dropping nuggets about my adolescence and deep-seated desire in the mid-80's to be a professional breakdancer but couldn't because I was living in rural Utah and didn't really know how to breakdance. It would be like Footloose only with more tractor chicken-racing, a lot less dancing, and a scene where I vaporize the alien intruders with Bootsy Collins' Bop Gun. Also, bologna appears somehow. Maybe as a overarching theme.
* Pie.
* Um, anything else that you really want me to blab about. Seriously, I could use the incentive to come up with something to write about. But make it sort of easy. I'm pretty lazy. Actually, if you choose this option, give me one word to start with and I can go from there. Sort of like Miss Litt's class in high school, right Ryan? That would be awesome. Thanks.
And When I Do This
So Chris is doing this thing over on his blog. and it's pretty funny. So I did some.
First one's political, seeing as HR just got re-elected Senate Majority Leader, which is pretty bad@$$, right?
Then this baby popped up:
Then 70's Stan Lee joined the party:
Followed by Stan Lee in his 70's (well, 80's):
And finally, the most bad@$$ of them all:
First one's political, seeing as HR just got re-elected Senate Majority Leader, which is pretty bad@$$, right?
Then this baby popped up:
Then 70's Stan Lee joined the party:
Followed by Stan Lee in his 70's (well, 80's):
And finally, the most bad@$$ of them all:
"Where's Axl?"
I really need to get ready for work, but I just had to share Chuck Klosterman's review of Guns N Roses' long-awaited Chinese Democracy album, courtesy of the Onion's A/V Club. Because sharing is caring.Just so you know what your getting, it contains the following sentence, which made me giggle: "A song like 'Shackler's Revenge' is initially average, until you get to the solo — then it becomes the sonic equivalent of a Russian robot wrestling a reticulating python."
And I must point out that by posting this, I am in no way saying that I like Guns N Roses. Just so we're clear on that. Anyway, here's the article. Enjoy.
11.15.2008
11.14.2008
Kaiju!
This Is Excellent:
Modern Fred's Flickr Photostream has a set of Kaiju stuff, including these radical awesome medical charts. How freaking rad is that?
Found via Pink Tentacle.
Modern Fred's Flickr Photostream has a set of Kaiju stuff, including these radical awesome medical charts. How freaking rad is that?
Found via Pink Tentacle.
11.13.2008
We Are Bringing Sexy Even More Back
So, this last summer, Candace asked me to come up with some posters for her Etsy shop, Sparkle Power! So I came up with four designs and five color variations for each design. They're 11" by 17" and digitally printed on archival presentation paper. They're fun. Here's one of each:
Cute, right? You can see the whole set here, if you're interested.
Anyway, so the shop has been getting some buzz in the "modern crafters" subsection of the Internet, which is cool. But today, we broke through to a whole other level of Internet fame: we are now sexy famous. The "La La Love You" and "You & I Are BFF" posters were both featured on Glamour magazine's Smitten: Sex, Love & Life blog alongside love tips and whatnot. So, if you click the link, just know it's gonna get a little PG-13. You have been warned.
Weird, right?
Cute, right? You can see the whole set here, if you're interested.
Anyway, so the shop has been getting some buzz in the "modern crafters" subsection of the Internet, which is cool. But today, we broke through to a whole other level of Internet fame: we are now sexy famous. The "La La Love You" and "You & I Are BFF" posters were both featured on Glamour magazine's Smitten: Sex, Love & Life blog alongside love tips and whatnot. So, if you click the link, just know it's gonna get a little PG-13. You have been warned.
Weird, right?
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