How I Spent My eMusic Downloads

So I must have been suffering from a serious, life-threatening rawk deficiency because I downloaded some R-A-W-K this month.

First off was the Capes' Hello, which is sort of like a less bouncy Futureheads or a toned-down Arctic Monkeys. I had hoped to immediately fall in love with the album, as I'd heard a lot of good buzz about it, bit I haven't yet. Plus, come on, that cover is pretty superrad and their name is clever as heck (though there is a band out there called "Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly." which may have them beat). From the half-listen I was able to give it so far, it seemed catchy and fun, but didn't knock my socks off or anything.

Next up was Rocket From the Crypt's mid-90's Circa Now! which is good, but not great. The mid-90's Nevermind-ish production excludes a lot of the bombast that later RFTC albums excelled at (I'd recommend Group Sounds or RFTC for a good introduction), but it's a solid look at one of the best rawk bands on planet Earth.

Last, but most assuredly not least is Guitar Wolf's Jet Generation. Back in the day I owned Guitar Wolf's Planet Of the Wolves but I must have temporarily lost my mind and sold it. I really don't know what I must have been thinking other than "Well, if I keep this record, I will most likely sustain serious ear injury by listening to it over and over again because it is LOUD stuff." Seriously, think of the loudest Ramones song ever imagined amplified with an awesome old tube amp cranked past "11" while someone screams completely indecipherable Japanese/broken-English over it and you have Guitar Wolf. I mean, how can you go wrong with a band who has song titles like "Kung Fu Ramones," "Refrigerator Zero," or "Cyborg Kids"?

Plus, this album has a brilliant cover of "Summertime Blues" in which the only part of the song you can understand is when the title's screamed during the chorus. Plus part 2: dudes are hardcore. Check it:

Don't you wish you could look that cool? I would look like such a tool in a leather jacket and wrap-around shades, but not one but all three of them pull it off with ease. They played at the Wet Stop years ago and - again, temporary insanity must have struck - I didn't go. I still kick myself now and then for that one but I justify it by telling myself that, had I gone, my head would have probably exploded in the presence of such raw power and at least now I'll have a better chance of hearing my future grandkids' voices.

So class, what did we learn today? Well, eMusic rules, the Capes album is pretty good but won't blow you away and, finally, Guitar Wolf is cooler than you. Way cooler than you.

Class dismissed.

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