Martha Stewart has been to jail. Think about that for a second. She's been to the Big House, the Pokey, the Hoosegow. She is a hardened criminal. She has constructed shivs from cafeteria cutlery and roughed up other inmates in the showers. She has bought people for packs of cigarettes. She has a tattoo from when she joined the Crips to keep the Aryan Nation off her back. She will cut you if you don't stop looking at her like that. She is serious. Do you think she is joking? Because she isn't, fish. She will cut you.
So the next time you turn on whatever channel she's syndicated on wherever you live and she's chatting with the chef of Chateau de Whatever and she's making a light Hollandaise sauce, take a good look into her eyes and you will see the soul of a barely caged tiger that will strip the meat from your bones if you cross her. Seriously. Think about that one for a while.
7 comments:
One time, when I was in high school, my grandma made us say 3 things we were thankful for at Thanksgiving dinner. One of my 3 things was Martha Stewart. Serious. I meant it & I'm still thankful for her. Even though she's crazy & stuff.
She is a stone-cold killer.
as we "speak" my first born is singing "winnie the poop" followed by "baby sadie's dad taught me that". THANKS DYLAN!
Okay this is weird because I was just wishing that I had cable and that E! would do a True Hollywood Story about her.
martha knows how to get it done.
Just ask that chicken.
I just shanked that nasty skank in 2C ... and thats a good think
Post a Comment