All Hail Broadband! (or) Rush & the Carney Rock Pantheon

So I got the internet hooked up. Do you love the internet? I freaking love the internet. So, what do you think was the first thing I did upon reestablishing my connection to the world-wide web of information that connects us all like the Force?

I downloaded "Tom Sawyer," by Canadian prog-rockers Rush. You know. These guys:

How did I live without this song in my iTunes library? It's like saying you've never seen the color green. Or that you've never seen an episode of The Simpsons. (Seriously, Patti? [shivers]) Or that you hate freedom. Just... weird.

Anyway, so there's been these commercials because, apparently, Rush is touring in support of their new album. Because the members of Rush are still, for the most part, alive and, for some inexplicable reason, feel the need to make new music for an predominantly invisible fanbase. Seriously, who's going to buy the new Rush album? Besides guys who work at gas stations. Anyway, different post entirely.

Of course, they play "Tom Sawyer," during the commercial because, come on, name me three other Rush songs. See, can't do it. Maybe "Limelight," but only if you worked construction for any amount of time in your life and were thereby exposed to altogether too much classic rock radio. In which case, I feel your pain. After those two songs, though... nothing. Because Rush is, in all honesty, pretty bad music. It's prog-metal. It's scientifically engineered for band nerds with acne.

There, I said it.

Anyway, so Candace and I have had multiple conversations in the past about this particular song. Personally, we think it's brilliant in the same way that I (maybe Candace... I don't know) think that Andrew WK's "Party Hard," is brilliant - it's bad/good. Like the Pacifier starring everybody's favorite quasi-intelligible thespian - Vincent van Diesel. Actually, maybe that's a bad example. I just caught a chunk of that movie the other night and it just might be bad/bad. But it made me laugh. And not at the stuff that was "supposed" to be funny. Lauren Graham, what were you thinking?

Anyway, long story short: "Tom Sawyer," is so cheesy it's mind-shatteringly awesome.

Candace says it reminds her of carney's at the state fair, which I think is the best description of that song ever: it's carny music. One whiff of it and the vision of a dirty, smelly, tattooed, three-toothed, one-eyed, six-fingered, half-drunk operator of a dilapidated Tilt-A-Whirl in central Oklahoma immediately springs to mind. Close your eyes and hum it. See?

So, I downloaded it. And it rocks. But I suddenly want to operate a Ferris wheel. Is that strange?

So, my question to you, dear reader, is this: what other songs should reside in the Carney Rock Pantheon? Leave your comments below.