I Could Easily Beat Up Larry King But I Refuse To Hit A Man That Old Who Isn't Named "Dracula"

I recently issued an invitation to all of you out there (including you lurkers; hello there! Nice shirt!) in cyberspace to join me as I interview you, all professional-like and whatnot. And I got a lot of great responses. Seriously, I'm pumped to interview every single name on this list. I'm like flipping out over here. I literally just threw my chair across the room, through a window and down three stories to the street below where it hit some old lady who is now crying out for help, that's how excited I am. I am freaking stoked.

I should probably have skipped that fourth Red Bull after lunch.

Anyway, so far I have the following as future interviewees:
Patti (Are you in or what? Come on, it'll be rad.)
The Chris Haley
Shon (no, seriously, that's how his name is spelled)

Am I forgetting anybody? Anybody else want it? Come on, it will rule. It will be like you're a celebrity only you won't want to punch yourself (which I just accidentally typed as "punch your elf," which is hilarious) when you open your mouth. You'll be like Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, that femme-y kid from High School Musical, TomCat (which is my shortened version of superstar couple Tom Arnold and his cat named, uh, Cat), Bennifer (you know, the Belgian disco queen and children's television show host who is also an astronaut in Belgium's space program) and Jermaine Jackson all rolled into one mammoth Frankencelebrity. You will be some sort of mega-Voltron-celebrity.

This could be you!:

Doesn't that look like fun? See that creepy old guy in the background? He's the Internet! See what a great time he's having because you agreed to be interviewed by yours truly? He looks positively electrified to be listening to our witty rapport. It's entertainment! Showbizzz! Don't worry though, you can wear a shirt when I interview you.

But I will be wearing a dress. You have been warned.


Patti said...

Now that I know I can wear a shirt . . . I'm in.

cbhoff said...

Wow, I wanna be famous, I'll do it! I missed the post asking for interviewees because I couldn't bare to look at that creepy monster face...

Misty said...

If you need someone in a pinch, I'm game.

Also, you could beat up Larry King. I sat next to him in church once and all I can say is that man has one big head and one teeny tiny body.

Ryan C. Adams said...

Is that Jesse Jackson?

Christopher said...

Count me in.

Dylan said...

Christina, I'll add you to the list.

You too, Misty. I saw Larry king at church, too. We were at the front desk at the Manhattan chapel and he walked in with his wife. I must have been looking at him like "Why does that ancient man look so familiar? And who wears suspenders these days?" because he totally gave us the "Yeah, I'm totally famous but don't talk to me, non-famous people," wave. Whatevs, Methuselah's granddad.

Ryan, it's not Jesse, it's Reggie, aka "Mr. October". Don't confuse your Jackson's.

Dylan said...

And finally, "Christopher." Which Christopher are you? My life is positively packed with Chris-es, but I have it narrowed down to two. Please let me know which this is. Thanks.

Christopher said...

That would be Christopher of the fellow Lakewooder (Lakewoody?) variety. Lynn to be precise. I have never seen Larry King in person but I did serve morning coffee to Carol Burnett once. Man, she is peppy!

Dylan said...

I thought it was you. You're on the list, for sure.

Cherine said...

Dylan I just saw B.T's Shaft interview. Can I play or am I too much of a dweeb?