I Could Easily Beat Up Larry King But I Refuse To Hit A Man That Old Who Isn't Named "Dracula"

I recently issued an invitation to all of you out there (including you lurkers; hello there! Nice shirt!) in cyberspace to join me as I interview you, all professional-like and whatnot. And I got a lot of great responses. Seriously, I'm pumped to interview every single name on this list. I'm like flipping out over here. I literally just threw my chair across the room, through a window and down three stories to the street below where it hit some old lady who is now crying out for help, that's how excited I am. I am freaking stoked.

I should probably have skipped that fourth Red Bull after lunch.

Anyway, so far I have the following as future interviewees:
Patti (Are you in or what? Come on, it'll be rad.)
Sarah
Candace
Allen
Dave
Rose
The Chris Haley
Ryan
Chanel
Shon (no, seriously, that's how his name is spelled)
B3n
Nan

Am I forgetting anybody? Anybody else want it? Come on, it will rule. It will be like you're a celebrity only you won't want to punch yourself (which I just accidentally typed as "punch your elf," which is hilarious) when you open your mouth. You'll be like Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, that femme-y kid from High School Musical, TomCat (which is my shortened version of superstar couple Tom Arnold and his cat named, uh, Cat), Bennifer (you know, the Belgian disco queen and children's television show host who is also an astronaut in Belgium's space program) and Jermaine Jackson all rolled into one mammoth Frankencelebrity. You will be some sort of mega-Voltron-celebrity.

This could be you!:



Doesn't that look like fun? See that creepy old guy in the background? He's the Internet! See what a great time he's having because you agreed to be interviewed by yours truly? He looks positively electrified to be listening to our witty rapport. It's entertainment! Showbizzz! Don't worry though, you can wear a shirt when I interview you.

But I will be wearing a dress. You have been warned.