What follows is a list of questions I find myself asking, um ... myself.
"Could I care less about anything related to American Idol?"
"Are there a more loathsome and irritating group of people than mainstream superhero comics fans?"
"Why in the world did George Lucas think it was an even remotely good idea to have that two-headed podrace announcer in The Phantom Menace?"
"Where can I find a decent, pre-owned disco ball around here?"
"How do h-h-human beings survive in this c-c-c-coldness?"
"Why did nobody tell me that Gouda cheese was so amazing? Why am I almost 32 years old and I'm just now finding this out? Seriously, people, how is this happening?!"
"Is 'Gouda' capitalized?"
"Does anybody listen to the mixes I post?"
"Why does the Chris Haley hate Garfield so much?"
"Why do my girls love to destroy everything in their path?"
"What am I getting for Christmas? Is it a pony? Two ponies?"