Watching the Vultures Pick the Corpse Clean

Before you ask; no, I didn't watch any of the Super Stupendous MJ Death Spectacle™ on TV last night. But I did see this on the YouTube homepage this evening:

Poor Brooke Shields. What did she do to deserve her face frozen like this on the homepage of one of the more popular sites on the World Wide Internets? And what is she doing? Did she like sneeze while she was eulogizing the "way super talented and troubled which is code word for 'most likely a child molester'" performer? Poor Brooke.

And does anyone else think it's a little disingenuous to pretend like the guy's been anything more than, at best a punchline and at worst a dried-up pervert, for the last 20 years? I mean, it's sad and all, but like I said previously, the last halfway decent thing he did from a purely artistic POV, Bad, was recorded in 1987. Three Men and A Baby was the top grossing box office film n 1987. Think about it man, that was a lifetime ago.

Also, I did see that His Royal Fondley-ness was buried in a gold coffin. Really? The dude was in debt up to his eyeballs and you're gonna go and bury him in a gold casket? (I realize it was probably not like *gold* gold, but still) Is he a frickin' Pharaoh or something? Do you even capitalize "Pharaoh"? Probably not, but I do. Why? Cuz I'm a renegade like Lorenzo Llamas or whatever.

Anyway, yeah, Off the Wall is a dang fine album and Thriller is no slouch either, but come on, let's just bury the sad, self-disfigured man and be done with it because seriously, there are a lot of other legitimately capital-"I"-important things going on in the world that we can and should be discussing. Like how awesome Steve Irwin was. Man, I still miss that dude.


rose said...

i watched/wasted 2 hours of my life watching the E true hollywood michael jackson story this morning and figured that they should have had a memorial service for him about 25 years ago.

Dr. Stanley said...

I heard that California was asking for donations for the memorial service. Brotha pleeeze!

jason quinones said...

do you mean to tell me that you weren't moved to tears by the emotional range and combined acting star power of danson, selleck and guttenberg???!!!!??

jason quinones said...

lorenzo lamas should be your avatar.

chanel said...

your commentors are hilarious.
i have nothing to add, im a looser, i watched the memorial, i cried. im so ashamed.