My Valentine

Hey, Internet. Happy Valentine's Day. If you'll indulge me for a post, I'd like to talk a little bit about my Valentine. That's her in the picture. Isn't she pretty? Yeah, I know, she's totally out of my league, but I'm not complaining. Also, aren't my eyes squinty?

I won't bore you by rehashing the details of how we met and fell in love, but suffice it to say that it's pretty epic. Candace has her version of the story here, and you can read the true story here, if you'd like. The bottom line is: We met. We fell in love. We're living happily ever after.

I'm very grateful for Candace. I'm a weird, moody, nerdy, needy person and there are very few people in this world that I feel really "get" me and Candace is at the top of the list of those type of people. I can't believe that I found such a person, but here we are. Add to that the fact that she's fun, smart, creative, caring, supportive and willing to say hard things to make you better, well, you can see why I took advantage of her lapse in judgment and married her for time and eternity.

Also, she is awesome.

Like I said earlier, I'm a weird guy. I'm a romantic, but not in a "bouquet of roses," type of way. (Besides, we all know that roses smell like poo-poo-poo, right Outkast?) I'm more of a "I made you a mixtape," type. So excuse me if this goes right over your head, but I'd like to briefly share a song with you. It's called "Peephole," and it's the penultimate track off of Guided By Voices' excellent Bee Thousand album. It's a short song, less than a minute-and-a-half, but I think it's one of the most romantic things I've heard. It's one of those songs that, for me at least, captures what it means to really love somebody. Here are the lyrics:

Give me the cost of the albatross
And wear it 'round your neck for size.
Don't let it get you down,
I'm looking inside your house
And oh, and it smells so nice.
Your house always looks so nice.

Maybe they're twice as high, laughing.
Maybe the time is right, you know.
Promise me not to leave.
I'm looking inside your brain,
And […], it's a cluttered mess.
I love you, I must confess.

It's that last couplet that punches me in the gut. "I'm looking inside your brain and … it's a cluttered mess," followed by "I love you, I must confess." To look inside somebody and have them look inside you and see just how supremely crazy and messed-up and broken you are and to still have them love you despite - and maybe because of - all that debris, for me, that's love. That's real, true, abiding and everlasting love.

So, Candace, thanks for putting up with the mess that is my brain, the ball of crazy that is me. I love you like tons. Thanks for helping me straighten my brain up a little. Even if it's only a small corner of the place, it's progress, right? And besides, we have forever, you and me.

Happy Valentine's day, you modern lovers.

*******

Here's the track in question, if you want to listen to it:

Peep-Hole - Guided By Voices