Okay, Okay...

Enough talking about feelings and all that crap. Let's talk about comics. Let's talk about the gloriousness that is Warren Ellis and Stuart Immonen's Nextwave: Agents of H.A.T.E..

Now first off, I know that this post is most likely an exercise in futility for a couple of reasons. Firstly, like three people read this blog. Let's be honest. Secondly, of those three people, none are even remotely interested in comics. But this is my blog and I will type about whatever I want. Tune in next week for my daily posts on the world of competitive full-contact herbology. It will melt your eyeballs and make you pee yourself.

So... Nextwave.

Who are Nextwave?

Nextwave are former super-powered agants of H.A.T.E. (Highest Anti- Terrorist Effort), which got bought out by the B.E.Y.O.N.D Corporation, which is a front for a terrorist organization (S.I.L.E.N.T.) that wants to test unusual Weapons of Mass Destruction on the American people. Like monsters and stuff. They also have broccoli-man robot thingies that look kind of like Doom-bots. They burn when you light them on fire.

H.A.T.E. is led by Dirk Anger, who eats pureed baby chicks and has a giant telephone that he uses for all secure communication. Seriously. He is more than a little high-strung. He wears dresses.

The Nextwave team consists of a bunch of C-List heroes who quit when they found out H.A.T.E. was evil: the female Captain Marvel, a.k.a. Photon from the Avengers, X-51: Machine Man, Boom-boom from the New Mutants/X-Force, Elisa Bloodstone: Monster Hunter and the Captain who was every crappy superhero named "The Captain" you never heard of. Like Captain Kerosene. Yeah. They also stole a cool rocket ship from H.A.T.E. called the Shockwave Rider that is bigger on the inside than it looks on the outside.

Nextwave is dayglo cotton candy comics. Nextwave is not your friend. Nextwave is simultaneously hilarious and overly bad-A. Basically, Nextwave is pure, uncut radness sprayed violently onto paper for visual ingestion.

This book looks and feels like a Saturday morning cartoon with a sugar high. Stuart Immonen's pencils are loose and gorgeous. Warren Ellis writes as a broad self-deprecating impersonation of himself. And it works gloriously. If you are at all interested, there's a trade paperback that will collect the first six issues coming out soon. Buy it. Or else I will come to your house and kick you and your teeth will fly out like so many Chicklets.

Just kidding about the whole kicking thing. Sorry.

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