America's Busybody

"Do I hear the sound of butting in? It's gotta be little Lisa Simpson, Springfield's answer to a QUESTION NO ONE ASKED!"

– Ned Flanders, losing his cool-a-roodily in
the Simpson's episode, "Hurricane Neddy."

So, yeah, Sarah Palin, America's Busybody. Since when did we need her to throw her two cents in Every. Single. Issue? First off, she decided that the so-called "Ground Zero Mosque," (pronounced: "It's a community center. You know, more like a YMCA, only the 'C' is a 'M'.") to be built on "hallowed ground," (pronounced: "A former Burlington Coat Factory") needed to be "refudiated," (pronounced: "Not a word, you dunderhead.") by peaceful Muslims &/or New Yorkers. Because, you know, as an Alaskan (and one whose husband was a member of a group who wanted Alaska to defect from the Unites States, no less…), this directly affects her.

Now I'm not going to debate about this community center, its placement, or whether it's a good idea or not. Opinions are obviously divided. My company line is that I don't live in New York. It's not my business. Buuuut, I like the Constitution. I like the freedom of being able to gather and worship in the manner I see fit without worry of hassle from the government. And, as a member of a vilified, misunderstood religious group who is always getting hassle for trying to build their weird, secretive buildings in myriad strategic locations, (and one whose history is rife with accusations of complicity in a secret plot by its members to overthrow the government and therefore should be shooed out of the country as quickly as possible, if not shot on sight) I stand by the First Amendment and well, if it's good enough for the neighbors and zoning boards in New York (or their mayor), let them build their community center in a shabby Burlington Coat Factory location a couple of blocks from the former World Trade Center. (By the way, with the way Manhattan is shaped, pretty much anything in the lower tip of the island is a couple of blocks from they World Trade Center. But maybe that's just The Elitist in me speaking.)

But, like I said, opinions differ. Whatever, because well, First Amendment. Which brings me to the latest bruhaha Sarah Barracuda/Quitter McGee decided to weigh in on: radio personality/advice diva/A.M. yenta Dr. Laura Schlesinger's recent flap for using the N-word numerous times (numerous times!) during a conversation with a caller on her show. Now her defense is that she was using it to make a philosophical point AND black comedians say it AND they say it on HBO, but still, the fact stands: she used a racially charged word over and over and over on her radio show. Also, for what it's worth, we're talking about a lady who looks like this, which is to say, pretty dang white:



Personally, I don't mind Dr. Laura. I used to work a construction job with a guy who listened to her semi-religiously and she was fun; doling out sound, common sense advice like a friendly mom who'll tell you how it really is, kid. Sure, she's a busybody, which is probably why Sarah decided she needed to defend her, I guess. It's part of the Busybody Sisterhood Bylaws or something. Look it up.

Anyway, because of the flap, Dr. Laura's gonna retire from her syndicated talk show, telling Larry King that she was looking forward to having her First Amendment rights back by being off the air. We'll get into why this is a stupid statement shortly.

Good old Sarah tweeted her two cents (because let's face it, she has a lot of free time on her hands ever since she quit her job and hired a ghostwriter to writer her books, Facebook page posts and, one assumes, those lists on her hands) thusly:

"Dr.Laura:don't retreat...reload! (Steps aside bc her 1st Amend.rights ceased 2exist thx 2activists trying 2silence"isn't American,not fair")" (link)

And: "Dr.Laura=even more powerful & effective w/out the shackles, so watch out Constitutional obstructionists. And b thankful 4 her voice,America." (link)

So, let's talk about why this is totally dumb. Let's start by refreshing ourselves with the First Amendment that's being bandied about so much here. From the National Archives website, the transcript of the Amendment reads like so:

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

Got it? Do you see the part where it says, "You can say whatever you want and nobody can say anything about it?" No? Whaaaa-? Surely it must be in there.

There seems to be this idea that the First Amendment means that you can say whatever dumb, insensitive or inaccurate thing you want without others saying, "You know, what you just said was dumb. Or insensitive. Or inaccurate. Or all three." This is not the case. If it were, then that means that Sarah Palin was obstructing the Constitutional rights of Rahm Emmanuel when she got all busybody-ish about a report of him saying that Congressional Democrats' objections to the (at the time) Health Care Bill were "retarded."

(It means "stunted." Again, look it up if you need to. It also has other connotations, namely an epithet towards the developmentally challenged. We can split hairs here and talk about usage and why when Emmanuel used it, he was referring to the Congress member's demands, and not a person, therefore the usage is obviously not intended to connote a mental handicap; whereas when Rush Limbaugh used the word to describe members of Congress themselves, he knew full well that that was what he was referring to, namely that the aforementioned Congress members were developmentally challenged. But we won't get into that. It's also interesting that when Dr. Laura gets in trouble for using the N-word, – repeatedly! – Sarah Palin's right there defending her civil liberties, but if somebody says "retarded," man, you better watch out. She will go all Mama Grizzly on you. But hypocrisy's always looked good on Palin.)

Another example: the former Miss California's sort-of-recent kerfuffle vis a vis: gay marriage versus "opposite marriage." Did she have the right to answer the question according to the dictates of her conscience and limited mental capabilities? Sure. Does that mean that her comments should have been uncontested or at the very least un-made-fun-of? Nope. Sorry. I mean, "opposite marriage"? Seriously? The Constitution doesn't cover against mean words or hurt feelings or reasoned rebuttal.

At least not until I get made President.

Look, if Dr. Laura is exercising her First amendment rights by using the N-word to try and make a philosophical point, well, okay then I guess. But it's A) a stupid thing to do, and B) others are just as protected under the First Amendment by "refudiating" those remarks. That's the cost of democracy. It's also the cost of being an adult. It's called accountability and responsibility. You know, the kind of stuff Dr. Laura's shoveling on a daily basis, but apparently won't eat herself, choosing instead to wallow in victimhood.

The bottom line is this: the First Amendment does not mean what Sarah Palin (and a lot of other people) thinks it means. The Amendment simply states that the government can't put limits on your speech (unless it's public or commercial or obscene or slanderous). It's not a free pass to shoot your mouth off whenever you get a microphone in front of your face with fear of reprisal. Welcome to America.

Also: white people should not be using the N-word. Ever. Never ever. Period. Full stop. Not for comedic purposes, not to make a philosophical point, not for any reason. Just don't do it. Cut it out of your brain if you have to. And if a white person does let it slip for whatever reason, they deserve all the backlash that comes their way.

The First Amendment does not protect you from the consequences of your speech, especially when it's done over public airwaves.

Sorry dudes.

Fine Pewter Portraits of General Apathy

Matt Taibbi on CBS's Lara Logan and the Rolling Stone/McChrystal debacle:

True, the Pentagon does have perhaps the single largest public relations apparatus on earth – spending $4.7 billion on P.R. in 2009 alone and employing 27,000 people, a staff nearly as large as the 30,000-person State Department – but is that really enough to ensure positive coverage in a society with armed with a constitutionally-guaranteed free press?

And true, most of the major TV outlets are completely in the bag for the Pentagon, with two of them (NBC/GE and Logan's own CBS, until recently owned by Westinghouse, one of the world's largest nuclear weapons manufacturers) having operated for years as leaders in both the broadcast media and weapons-making businesses.

But is that enough to guarantee a level playing field? Can a general really feel safe that Americans will get the right message when the only tools he has at his disposal are a $5 billion P.R. budget and the near-total acquiescence of all the major media companies, some of whom happen to be the Pentagon's biggest contractors?

Does the fact that the country is basically barred from seeing dead bodies on TV, or the fact that an embedded reporter in a war zone literally cannot take a s*** without a military attaché at his side (I'm not joking: while embedded at Camp Liberty in Iraq, I had to be escorted from my bunk to the latrine) really provide the working general with the security and peace of mind he needs to do his job effectively?

Apparently not, according to Lara Logan. Apparently in addition to all of this, reporters must also help out these poor public relations underdogs in the Pentagon by adhering to an "unspoken agreement" not to embarrass the brass, should they tilt back a few and jam their feet into their own mouths in front of a reporter holding a microphone in front of their faces.

Go. Read.

There's A City In My Mind

Yesterday on Facebook, I linked to a Pitchfork story about David Byrne suing Florida Governor Charlie Crist over the unauthorized use of a Talking Heads song in Crist's campaign. Today, he blogged about it. I won't comment on it; Byrne does a better job than I could. Read Byrne's entry below, or you can click here to read the entry on his blog, which I heartily recommend you follow.

+++++++

05.25.10: Yours Truly vs. the Governor of Florida

I am bringing a lawsuit against the Governor of Florida.

A while back a friend told me that the Republican Governor of Florida, Charlie Crist, was using the Talking Heads song “Road to Nowhere” in a campaign ad. He’s running for Senate.

Well, using a recording of a song, or even just using that song and not the original recording, in an advertisement without permission is illegal, unless the composition has gone into the public domain. It’s not just illegal because one is supposed to pay for such use and not paying is, well, theft — it’s also illegal because one has to ask permission, and that permission can be turned down.

Besides being theft, use of the song and my voice in a campaign ad implies that I, as writer and singer of the song, might have granted Crist permission to use it, and that I therefore endorse him and/or the Republican Party, of which he was a member until very, very recently. The general public might also think I simply license the use of my songs to anyone who will pay the going rate, but that’s not true either, as I have never licensed a song for use in an ad. I do license songs to commercial films and TV shows (if they pay the going rate), and to dance companies and student filmmakers mostly for free. But not to ads.

I’m a bit of a throwback that way, as I still believe songs occasionally mean something to people — they obviously mean something personal to the writer, and often to the listener as well. A personal and social meaning is diluted when that same song is used to sell a product (or a politician). If Crist and his campaign folks had asked to use the song, I would have said no — even if they had offered a lot of money, such as I have been offered in the past for ad use (though I’ve always turned these offers down).

I believe my audience is aware of this no-ad use policy of mine, and part of the respect I am accorded as an artist is due to my maintaining this policy. Needless to say, if they thought I’d licensed a song to a political campaign they might not respect me as much in the morning.

It might be pointed out that Republican campaign organizations have done this kind of thing before. John McCain’s campaign used the Jackson Browne song “Running on Empty” and Reagan’s folks used Springsteen’s “Born in the U.S.A.” Both were used illegally without permission, and in the case of the Jackson Browne song a lawsuit was brought. After the Republicans lost several motions attempting to dismiss Browne’s complaint, they settled with him. Part of the settlement said that the Republican National Committee promised to respect artists’ rights and to obtain licenses for the use of copyrighted works in the future. So, it’s not like they weren’t warned, or hadn’t been burned before.

Now, there is such a thing as fair use. Typically the type of free use that doesn’t require a permission might be a student quoting a passage in a book to make a point in a graduate paper, or someone using part (not all) of “Road to Nowhere” to identify, say, the marching groove in that song as a metaphor for the inexorable forward momentum of time, or some such notion. These uses are typically exempt from licensing, permission and fees. In this case, however, the use was not to comment on or explain something about “Road to Nowhere,” ’80s music in general, Talking Heads or Cajun accordion riffs — it was used solely to further Governor Crist’s advertising strategy in his Senate primary campaign… a campaign that has nothing to do with me or my music.

Another tactic the Republicans have used to justify this kind of thing is the right to political free speech. Their argument is that the song is integral to making a political point, and therefore falls under free speech. Well, that’s just crazy talk — the song has nothing to do with Crist’s political views. It simply has a title that is a handy catchphrase, as does the Jackson Browne song — but the content of the song itself doesn’t have any connection with the politician’s campaign or agenda.

So, my lawyers and I have filed a lawsuit — and we also hope the Republicans might not engage (again) in this kind of illegal behavior in the future.

+++++++

So yeah, suck it, Charlie Crist.

Anyway, here's the video for the song in question, which I totally love. It's quintessential Talking Heads: equal parts profundity and ridiculousness; part artsy and part, well, fartsy. They're my favorite band.

Big Baby

So, I hate Glenn Beck. But you knew that, right? And no, I'm not going to talk about how sponsors are pulling their advertisements from his show in response to his bigoted and wrong-headed comments about how our president is a racist. You know, our half-white president who was raised by white people? That guy?

And I'm not going to talk about how the Birthers are a bunch of (possibly racist) ding-dongs who just need to bite down and deal with it for the next few years like all us Democrats had to do during the last administration. I'm not going to link to this great Let's Be Friends Again strip where Hawkman calls out Superman for his lack of a birth certificate. I'm not going to "go there," if you will.

And I'm even not going to address the violent nutjobs at the town halls meetings who don't know their socialism from their Nazism and tote firearms while holding signs (like this one, that touches on issues that are actually important) and yelling about killing old people and stuff. The health care reform debate and the circus of partisan insanity it has become can be left in more capable hands than mine.

No, I'm going to elevate the political discourse around here ... by talking about how Glenn Beck looks like a baby. Classy, I know. I mean, we all know he's a crybaby, but it seems like whenever I point out that Beck looks like a baby in a suit, people have a hard time visualizing what I mean. Then I'm like screaming at them, going, "No, it's like if you took a baby and dressed him up in a man's clothes and gave him a microphone and he said whatever goo-goo gaa-gaa poo-poo pee-pee stuff that popped into his baby head and OH MAAAAAN! I HATE GLENN BECK! HULK SMASH!!!"

Ahem.

Well, citizens, now I have photographic proof of my theorem. Behold:


Boom. Shakka. Lakka.

*******
The image on the right is Glenn Beck. The image on left via the venerable Manbabies.com.

Today Was the Day, But Only For the First Time

So today was the Inauguration, Fringe was new and pretty bad-A, tomorrow's the season five premiere of Lost, Scott Pilgrim volume five is out in like two weeks and DC just solicits this:

Written by Grant Morrison
Art and cover by Cameron Stewart

In 2008 alone, superstar writer Grant Morrison killed Batman, put the entire DC Universe through its Final Crisis and concluded the unanimously beloved All-Star Superman. But what does a writer who’s written every significant superhero do when he can create any superhero he wants? The answer, of course, is Seaguy! Morrison (The Invisibles) rejoins original Seaguy artist Cameron Stewart (Seven Soldiers) in an all-new adventure starring the cult-favorite character!

In Seaguy’s cartoon future world, everyone is a superhero and no one dies. It’s absolutely perfect ... or is it? In this follow-up to the cult 2004 miniseries, Seaguy resurfaces with a sinister new partner, a hatred of the sea and a rebel restlessness he can’t explain. Why are Doc Hero and his ex-archenemy Silvan Niltoid, the Alien from Planet Earth, whispering strange equations? Why is Death so useless? And can that really be the ghost of Chubby Da Choona mumbling uncanny warnings and dire prophecies of ultimate catastrophe?

When the grotesque powers lurking behind the corporation known as Mickey Eye and the Happy Group attempt to erase Seaguy’s entire existence, can he possibly get it together in time to save a world so far gone it can’t even imagine the horror lying in wait? Find out here in Morrison’s own personal reframing of the Super Hero concept for the 21st century.

On sale April 1 • 1 of 3 • 40 pg, FC, $3.99 US • MATURE READERS

I'm not sure how this day can get any better. Can you think of anything that doesn't involve bacon?

Civics Lesson

This Is Excellent:



As Is This:



Both are from Andrew Sloat. Very cool stuff and the kind of thing I really wish I had thought up and would have if only I weren't so frickin' lame.

Free Newspaper! ... And Also A Look At Race In the Wake Of the Obama Election

So in the train station this morning, some representing the local paper, The Cleveland Plain Dealer, asked me if I wanted a free paper for my commute. He then tried to sell me on a daily delivery to said paper by offering a $3/week subscription. I told him I'd have to discuss it with my wife. To which he replied "You can't make a $3 decision?!"

"Nope." I replied, and walked away.

Anyway, so I've been sort of wishing I subscribed to a newspaper for a while now (Candace & I haven't done so in our married life), but I haven't actually done it. Which is sad, you know? Journalism, especially print journalism, is a fundamental of government. As great as the Internet is, the attention constraints of the average reader (me) preclude any serious reading. It's good for short news bursts (you know, the first couple of paragraphs of a print piece), but an in-depth analysis of an issue or news story isn't it's forte'. I mean, how many of you are going to read this whole blog post? You're probably skimming it, which is fine. But online news suffers from it's medium, which is better suited for short attention spans.

And forget about TV news. They're too beholden to their corporate parents, ratings and, by extension, advertising dollars to focus on anything for more than a soundbite and even then, what you get is filtered and all surface. If you want real, in-depth news, you're left with The News Hour on PBS which is really excellent stuff, but it's borderline boring in it's focus and you have to really pay attention. You can't be cooking/eating dinner while you watch it if you want to glean anything of substance from it.

(And I'm not even going to get into stuff like Fox News or MSNBC which are like dueling biases, although the left-leaning policies at MSNBC haven't leaked into their news organ like they have over at Fox with it's laughably right-wing editorial department. Seriously, Bill O'Reilly is like a turd in a suit and Sean hannity is something grosser than a turd in a suit. I don't know what. I'll leave that up to you. But that's what he is. I will admit, I enjoy some Olberman and Maddow and Mathews, but I know that they're giving me opinions and not necessarily the news. They're pundits. On Fox, the line between their journalists and pundits is getting thinner and thinner each day. Also, the MSNBC guys are pretty self-deprecating and, in the case of Maddow, very insightful and funny. They're a great liberal Op/Ed piece in a good newspaper as opposed to a dreadful comic section over at Fox. They're like a comics section filled with Marmaduke and Mallard Fillmore and The Lockhorns. Dreadful stuff.)

Which leaves the lowly newspaper, which is quickly becoming obsolete. Is this a tragedy? I have no idea. Besides, newspapers aren't going to go away entirely. They may shrink, but I doubt that they will disappear. Am I the only one disturbed by this? Are we going to allow our attention spans to kill off one of the oldest bastions of free speech? Am I totally rambling at this point?

Anyway, so this is a big introduction just to say that I read an Op/Ed piece on the front cover of today's PD that I thought was really interesting in the wake of President-Elect Obama's victory last Tuesday and what that could mean for race relations in America. As great as that victory was, it's by no means the end of the discussion. In fact, you could argue that it was the beginning.

Just read the piece. It's good.

*******

America Begins Its Journey Into A Post-Racial Era
By Phillip Morris, Plain Dealer Columnist
Wednesday, November 05, 2008, 8:30 PM

As I watched tears stream down the face of a highly emotional Jesse Jackson Tuesday night, impertinent questions flooded my mind:

Why was this famous black man weeping? Why did each breath produce a fresh torrent of sobs and shudders. Did this luminary weep, like so many others, as he listened to President-elect Barack Obama, because he realized that America's most impenetrable glass ceiling had shattered?

Or did this particular son of South Carolina weep because he realized that race as a useful construct for confrontation, oppression or contemporary perspective appeared suddenly obsolete? Did he weep at the death of his quest for reparations?

Did Jesse Jackson emote so demonstrably because it was suddenly clear that America, a nation built and anchored upon the dangerous precipice of race, had suddenly lived up to it's most ambitious ideal and dealt its final race card?

In the end, it didn't matter. America had already embarked upon a long deferred dream.

Tuesday, this nation unburdened itself of the albatross of race. The United States elected to its presidency the most improbable Horatio Alger and, in the process, proved that in this nation anything remains possible.

An unprecedented coalition of Americans united to elect Obama, a man, who is being called America's first black president.

The occasion will continue to warrant celebration and sober reflection.

But it is also true that America elected Obama as its 44th white president. His mother was just as white as his African father was black. We just don't know how to talk about it. His bloodlines course through all of us. That, too, warrants deeper reflection, and some celebration, as well.

Obama gives us a new way of looking at race - or better yet, an evolving reason not to consider race at all. And that is part of the promise of his potential. That is part of his gift to America.

It remains to be seen, of course, whether the orator can lead. It remains unknown whether this gifted organizer can preside over a nation that faces daunting political challenges and threats.

But America has done its part. Without a blink of an eye, we have just boldly ushered in a new, post-racial era. Once again, we have proven ourselves a nation of leaders: A representative democracy in its truest sense.

Race will continue to matter to some, of course. But its importance is diminished.

Race haters and race apologists will continue to cling to misguided conventions and impotent pasts. But their voices have just grown smaller.

As a nation, we have suddenly grown far more "indivisible." And that's what many Americans now celebrate. We celebrate our maturity.

Two of my favorite Obama supporters went to bed early Tuesday evening, hours before Obama gave his victory speech. They went to bed hopeful. They woke up to what is now being called a "new" America.

I prefer to call it a "better" America.

My 9-year-old daughter called at 6:30, jubilant with the news of the Obama victory. Two hours later, 95-year-old Jean Capers, the first black woman ever elected to Cleveland City Council, rejoiced over breakfast that she had lived to see America's maturation.

These sorts of encounters are happening all over the nation. They will continue for some time. This victory goes far beyond politics, religion, gender, race or creed. It's bigger.

America has completed its evolution into a racial meritocracy.

Obama has been given the opportunity to fail -- or to succeed -- on his own ability, character and luck.

The son of mixed race parents has been given the opportunity to screw up the ultimate leadership opportunity just as badly as white men have. He's also been given the opportunity to soar.

That represents the culmination of the dream. That is the fulfillment of hope and promise.

*******

You can read more of Morris' columns here.

44

Yay, America!



Well, it's all over. Barack Hussein Obama will be the 44th President of the United States. I seriously can't believe it. He won the popular vote, the electoral college and, by and large, we had very few shenanigans at the polls. It was a clean and clear victory. We haven't been able to say that about an election in a while. I seriously can't believe it's real. I'm so full of hope it's coming out my ears.

image courtesy LOLBama.

I hope that over the next while those of you who didn't vote for Obama can begin to see what I've been frothing at the mouth over for the last couple of years. I hope we can get this country back on track with a mixture of hard work, sacrifice and good decisions. I hope we can come together and work together to ensure a better future for our children and their children. I hope we can put biases, party affiliation or skin color behind us and face the 21st century with a renewed sense of determination, compassion and resolve. I hope we can make our country safer, our economy stronger and our world cleaner. I hope we can keep our children healthy, happy and educated and ensure a prosperous nation. I hope we can be tough when necessary and assist others when called upon. I hope we can be the America we've aspired to be. The America we've fought to protect.

But most of all, I hope that Malia and Sasha's new puppy is super awesome.

*******

In other news, check out this hilarious electoral map from the New York Times. Now you can see which states are "Solid weirded out by Joe Biden's hair" and which are just "Leaning weirded out by Joe Biden's hair".

Vote Early. Vote Often.

You're all responsible, intelligent people, so I'm sure you have voted/are voting/will be voting, but in case you haven't - go do it. Or else you don't get to complain for the next four years. Them's the rules. I don't make them, I just enforce them.

Image via Numinous Design's Flickr stream. Found via, uh, Ffffound.

One More Thing...

On the ballot tonight, I voted for Frank Miller for Cuyahoga County Coroner.

For reals.

... And We're Back

Well, it's all over but the crying. We trekked down to the Cuyahoga County Board Of Elections tonight, kids in tow, stood in line and dropped our paper ballots in the locked boxes. Avoided those screwy Diebold machines, the insane lines and any sudden crazy weather. I'm feeling pretty good right now.

Now if I can just not completely lose my mind in the next week, we'll be doing just fine.

So, my vote is cast. Now it's your turn. If you are still on the fence (and especially if you're living in Nevada or Pennsylvania or Florida or Missouri or Virginia or Ohio) and missed Senator Obama's "Closing Argument" yesterday, please take a few minutes out from surfing the Facebookses or the Twitterses and the blogses and watch it (it's embedded below), do some non-objective research (like, say, this tax plan comparison from the Freakonomics guy), make an educated decision and then vote. And vote early. Cuz you never know.

Maybe you won't vote for my guy. Maybe you have very valid reasons for voting for the other guy that I - for all of my own biases, experiences and ideologies - just can't see. I just hope that those reasons for voting for the old guy and the woefully unprepared lady aren't something as ridiculous as something you read in a forwarded e-mail or something somebody told you or [heavens no!] some piece of half-digested nonsense you heard on Rush or Bill-O.

It's your choice, this voting thing. Make it wisely.

The Closing Argument:



Read the transcript here.

*******

Okay, so thus ends my career as a political blogger. Seriously people, you have no idea the degree to which this election has consumed my life. It's sick. Sick sick sick.

And now that I can begin to wean myself off of the teat of American political coverage over the next week or so, I find myself looking for other things to occupy my attention. For example, did you know there's this thing called "The Sky"? And it's blue! Blue! I never knew that! Cuh-razy.

I can't promise I'll be like SuperBlogger or anything now that this is wrapping up, but I will try. I'm just a man, after all. And if there's anything you think I should be blogging about, please drop me a line and I will do my best to oblige because I have this sick desire for approval because my father didn't hug me enough as a child. (J/K Pops! Please love me! Please!)

But I digest ...

Anyway, that's it. I'm gonna go watch Fringe and hope it isn't yet another "almost better than average" episode. You stay classy, Beloved Internets.

Whatever Floats Yr Vote

I'm going to go vote tonight. This will be the first election I've voted in where I'm actually voting for a candidate rather than against a candidate (which just so happened to be the illustrious GWB both times, a decision I'm feeling pretty good about right now).

Not that there aren't things I'm voting against in this election, because if you're even sort of paying attention, there's plenty do vote against.

Things like pounding the Fear Button repeatedly as you talk about your opposition's tangential relationships with "a worshed up old terrorist", or exhume the moldering corpse of Joseph McCarthy and call your opponent an out-and-out Socialist even though your running mate expressed similar sentiments regarding the relative fairness of a tax plan that supposes that those with more can afford to give more, way back in 2000, you know, back when he had a soul.

I'm voting against race baiting, mean-spiritedness and this notion that there are more "real", "pro-American" citizens and places in this country. I'm voting against small-thinking and divisiveness and a country where you are on your own, unless you're a banker. I'm voting against no-bid government contracts and "preemptive strikes" and a chest-thumping foreign policy that only makes us less safe and diminishes our standing in the world. I'm voting against privatizing Social Security, health care and education.

But that's only half the story.

More importantly, I'm voting for something in this election. I'm voting for equality, for hope, for sacrifice and for steadiness in a time of incredible instability. I'm voting for an America where we look out for each other and work our damndest to eliminate ignorance, poverty and dependence on foreign energy. I'm voting for cleaner air, cleaner water and a healthier future. I'm voting for more jobs, more prosperity and more competitiveness in the world. I'm voting for a fresh set of eyes that will hopefully change the way things get done in Washington and in the world.

I'm voting for a candidate who asks me to sacrifice for my fellow citizens, to sacrifice for my country. I'm voting for better schools, better factories and better communities. I'm voting for green jobs and purple states and the red, white and blue that promises us all that if we work hard and help others, we can succeed in this, the greatest democracy in the world.

I'm voting for hope. I'm voting for change.

What A VP Does

This Is Excellent:

Quote For the Day

Read this on the train on my ride/walk home today. I love me some Harry Reid:

"Ever since the ascendancy of Ronald Reagan in 1980, it has been popular and easy for candidates to run against Washington and the very institutions they are seeking to lead. For these titans of public service, these profiles in courage, the more viciously you can tear our government down, the better. An entire generation of politicians had learned that cynical lesson so well that in 2000 we elected a President for whom this government-is-the-enemy notion was an article of faith. Well, during his presidency this simple-minded political credo has become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Their logic has been circular: A) Government can't do anything right, so, B) elect us, and we'll prove it to you.

"This political strategy has been a disastrous success.

"The problem with this approach, of course, is that it attempts to obscure the fact that the American government is the greatest force for good in the history of mankind. No amount of cheap political demagoguery will change that fact. But when you so degrade the institutions of our government, you play a very dangerous game, because when you have the power of the presidency, you can make it thus. When you say, over and over, that government is the problem, it becomes the problem. So much so that when you are in charge of it, you don't know how to run it. And you have such contempt for its functions that you appoint partisan hacks to run lifesaving agencies, which is what President Bush did when he appointed Michael Brown to run FEMA, and Brown was then revealed as incompetent in the critical days after Hurricane Katrina wiped out much of the central Gulf Coast in late August 2005.

"I am as much a believer in the genius of the American free-enterprise system as anyone, but it was not the market that built the Interstate Highway System, sent a man to the moon, or conceived of Social Security, the greatest social program since the fishes and the loaves. It was not the market that saved the planet in two world wars or dammed mighty rivers to electrify Appalachia and the West. Those things, and so many others, were brought to you by the genius of the American government. And what is the American government but an expression of the will of the the American people? The Republicans sometimes talk about our government as if it's some kind of alien landing craft, come to impose an alien order. This, of course, is paranoid nonsense. It is this kind of thinking that ought to be considered alien. Because when we've got elected officials in Washington so blinded by ideology that they cannot abide the thought of government helping someone - like, for instance, insuring an uninsured child - then something is terribly wrong. And when at the same time you've got right-wing activists given carte blanche in the halls of power, such as Grover Norquist of Americans for Tax Reform, whose favorite saying is that he wants to shrink the government to a sufficient size so that it might be drowned in a bathtub, then you've got a recipe for disaster. A recipe for a diminished America. You begin to do serious harm to the very idea of American greatness."

From The Good Fight: From Searchlight to Washington
By Harry Reid with Mark Warren
Pp. 66-68

A Public Service Announcement

Let's get serious for a second. The deadline for voter registration is next Monday, October 6th. Please please please, if you are not registered to vote yet, take (literally) a few minutes and do so. This site right here can tell you if you're already registered (it doesn't hurt to make sure) and get you registered if you're not. It's super easy.

Now, I'm not going to tell you who which candidate to vote for. Just vote. Educate yourself, watch the debates, listen to what's being said and done and what's not being said and not being done and vote for who you think will best get us out of this mess. Because it's pretty crazy out there right now.

That is all.

I Said I Wasn't Gonna Talk Politics...

Okay, so I wasn't going to talk about politics over here anymore. I was tempted to do so after the conventions, but figured that you all know who I'm supporting and the marked difference in tone between the conventions only solidified that choice and I figured that by now, you're either agreeing with me or have reasons why you're not. You're smart people. I trust your judgment.

But Sarah had other plans. She had a posted some political thoughts the other day and asked me to provide her with some support, so I drafted the following message. As usual, I didn't post it as it was crazy long and I didn't think it would help anybody out by posting a forever long rant in the comment section of someone else's blog. (Which is why I never jump in on your blog either, Chanel. Plus, your people are just plain nasty over there! ;) )

Also, because I'm a chicken or something.

Anyway, so here is my response to Sarah's question: "What do you think about Sarah Palin?"

Oh man, okay, so I'm only commenting because Sarah asked me to. I usually try and stay out of these political poop-storms if I can, mainly because you can't have a discussion via the beloved Internets, so consequently people squawk their two cents and tune out anything contradictory. It's my firm belief that politics is a conversation, not a monologue, but unfortunately, modern political rhetoric - between people as well as politicians - has devolved into people shouting stuff at each other with their fingers in their ears. And I'm not convinced that we as a culture don't like it this way. You can read a little more about my political feelings here if you'd like. Or not. Whatever.

Hold on. Let me make sure I'm doing this right. Fingers in ears? Check. Ready to shout? Check. Okay, then. Let's get this over with:

John McCain makes me sad. Watching him speak at the RNC was like watching, I dunno, a captive wolf or something. Some sort of proud, majestic, scarred animal who's been reduced to begging for scraps to survive. During his speech, I sat there thinking,"This, right here, this is a great American. It's too bad this John McCain isn't the one who's been running for President." Not that I agreed with everything he said (his education rhetoric is way off base and his foreign outlook is hawkish, ill-defined and way too informed by the Cold War), but at least here was a glimpse of a man who I didn't think was lying to me every chance he got.

Because that John McCain - the John McCain who up until the last, oh, 4 years or so has been an example of a successful bipartisan senator, extending his hand across the aisle numerous times to make this a better country - that McCain got put in cold storage a few years ago, when this John McCain, this "politics as usual," "repeat a lie often enough and it becomes the truth" John McCain started thinking about running for the Big Dance again. This John McCain has sold his soul to the all-too-familiar Rovian politics of outright lies and misdirection (of which he was a victim of in South Carolina in 2000 when GWB&co. put out a commercial that flat out lied about him at the last minute and scared a lot of voters, forcing him out of the race) in the name of victory, and his choice of Palin (who, let's be honest, was more than likely picked for him and not by him) is a constant reminder that, sadly, anyone can be bought.

He's not "that guy", you know? He's not GWB, who will do and say anything you want him to as long as you get him to the Big Dance. He is - was? I can't tell anymore - a man of conviction and resolve. Now, he's just another GOP candidate, slinging lies and fake outrage over out-of-context quotes, playing out the clock with little things like which animal it's okay to put lipstick on when the big issues - things like, oh, you know, the totally crumbling economy, for example - are being pushed aside for the latest round of "Did you hear what he said/did yesterday?"

The choice of Palin as VP is another example of how far he will go to pander to people who don't even really want to hang out with him, the "real" him, in the first place. As the sad English poet Morrissey once said, "In my life / Why do I waste valuable time / On people I'd much rather / Punch in the eye?" Which begs the question: If John McCain is willing to compromise on something as important for America as a competent running mate, what else is he willing to compromise on?

Meanwhile, you have Barack Obama. Had he chosen Hillary, his victory would have been all but sealed, and, it could be argued, would have cut McCain off from choosing Palin as a second-in-command. So what if they most likely would have butted heads every single day they had to work together. It would have been the smart move, politically. The safe move. Instead he [gasp!] chose the person he felt was best for the job. I know, crazy, right?

You can't tell me John McCain wouldn't have rather had long-time friend Joe Lieberman on his ticket. Or any of the other short list choices, really. But Lieberman and all those stodgy white guys aren't the sexy choice. Lieberman's boring and nobody was talking about John McCain and besides, wasn't Lieberman a [double gasp!] Democrat at one point?! He may have been the right choice (who knows?), but not the choice that will help McCain win.

And McCain knows what it's like to lose. Obama talks about it in The Audacity Of Hope and it sounds terrible. (Yes, that was a plug. If you're at all curious about the man and his ideas on America and policy, pick it up. It sold me on him a couple of years back and is very recommended.) I can imagine that losing what basically is the world's biggest popularity contest would crush me. I would imagine that John McCain would not want to feel that again. I understand, really I do.

So he added Sarah Palin to the ticket. Palin, a former mayor of an incredibly small town (with a population of roughly, oh, 5500 people if you round up. Or, like, four high schools.) and first term governor of Alaska. You know, that state way up there. Population of almost (!) 70,000 people according to the 2006 census (or roughly 40% of the population of Chicago)? Yeah, that Alaska.

He chose Sarah Palin, who so far sounds like some sort of Liberal caricature of a radical Right Winger: anti-abortion to the extreme (Not even in the event of rape or incest? Really?); opposed to gun laws; doesn't believe that global warming is happening &/or is man-made despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary; has a chair on the Interstate Oil and Gas Compact Commission but is determined to fight big corporations; against Federal earmarks unless, uh, they're for Alaska; thinks creationism should be taught alongside evolution in classrooms as a viable scientific theory; and, well, that's it really. Doesn't inspire confidence. And it doesn't sound anything like what John McCain stood for historically.

And that's not even touching her home situation, which is obviously in need of some attention. Or is that sexist to point out? I can't tell any more.

But in the end, it really has nothing to do with gender. If that was a guy's resume' would you want his finger one stopped heart away from total nuclear annihilation? No, you wouldn't, especially since the Friday before Labor Day, this campaign has been about hammering Obama's supposed lack of experience. And when it comes to experience Palin is sorely lacking.

Anyway, so yeah, I don't think much of Governor Palin. She's sort of like John McCain's scarlet letter, a public reminder of a bad choice, in this case, the choice to sell out to the right wing establishment in order to win.

Has she energized the base and got people talking about something besides how old John McCain is or how much his policies of late have resembled a certain president with a plummeting approval rating? You bet. She's a great choice ... if you're playing a short game, which has sort of been de rigeur for this sort of politicking over the last ten years or so. (Remember how muddy things got when they swiftboated John Kerry? Seriously, what was that whole flap even about? Something about Purple Hearts or something?)

But there's two months left until election day. You can't pull out that much controversy (or can you? Or rather, will the American people buy that much crap for that long? Oh, but wait, we've been fed wholesale bullcrap for the last eight years, what's another few weeks, right?) to cover the fact that while your opponents are out there, talking about the issues in two different places, you're stuck together, (because nobody wants to see you, you know, the guy who's running for the office) giving the exact same speeches you gave at the convention. It's like trying to run the clock down two minutes after halftime.

So in summation, Sarah Palin is, in my opinion not a good choice for someone who in all likelihood is going to be sitting behind that nice wooden desk in the Oval Office. She's inexperienced and honestly, a little terrifying once you start to look into what she stands for. Plus, her voice is ten kinds of annoying. There, I said it.

But she will work for what the McCain team needs her for, as a distraction to, as Obama said in his acceptance speech, make this election about small things rather than important things. She may even help John McCain win. We can only hope that the real John McCain, the John McCain who tried to run an honest, straight-talking campaign against the slimiest campaign team money could buy in the GOP Primaries in 2000, is still alive somewhere and can regain control of an obviously out of control situation.

Otherwise, well, if you're rich, it should be nice. The rest of us, get ready for more of the same.

Let's Do This Thing

So we clinched it last night. Obama is the nominee. I'm not going to say much more, except that I'm excited. It's time to take on Old Man McCain and then on to the White House. I wonder if Michelle's started picking out drapes for the Lincoln Bedroom yet? Cuz if she hasn't she should probably start looking now. January's going to be here before we know it. Here's a piece of the speech from last night:

Dear Sister So & So ...

There's a lady in our church who has been forwarding these right-wing political e-mails to us lately. This annoyed me. The first one I ignored. The second one irked me. The third one got a response. What follows is the complete draft of my response e-mail. In the end I opted for a the first sentence, but here it is in its glory. You can tell me if it was wise to send this to someone who I'm not sure I even know who she is:

Dear Sister So & So,

I hope this doesn't offend you and know that what follows is meant with respect and love, but we would appreciate if you would please stop forwarding these political e-mails to us. Just because we go to the same church does not necessarily mean that we hold the same political opinions. See, I and my wife are Mormon Democrats, one of those mythical creatures you read about in books but never see in reality, like a unicorn or the Loch Ness Monster. There are not many of us, but we do exist.

Hi!

As to your forwarded e-mail, titled "Wake Up, People", I would like a chance to respond to some of the things I took umbrage with.

Personally, I am glad I live in a country where I and my countrymen are free to say what they will about the President, regardless of the who sits in the Oval Office. And yes, this includes jokes at out leadership's expense, in peacetime or war. This is why my ancestors fled their native lands years and generations ago, to be free to speak their mind without fear of being clapped in irons or beheaded in the public square. I'm glad that I have the freedom to say that our war with Iraq is misguided at best, a complete sham and a waste of life and treasure at worst. I am glad that people are free to protest a war they do not agree with just as I am glad and proud of those men and women who fight on behalf of our country. I only wish we were honoring their sacrifice with a war that was worth dying for. I am glad that someone like Stephen Colbert can roast the President at the White House Correspondents dinner and not have to worry about "being disappeared." Partially because it reminds us that our leaders are human beings, not infallible demigods whose word is as if from Heaven.

Also, because it's funny.

I am glad that newspapers keep watch over our government and expose inhumane treatment of fellow human beings in the custody of our armed forces. As an American and as a Christian, I cannot see any instance where complete degradation, physical torture (I looked "waterboarding" up; it's torture) and gross mistreatment can be construed as proper or necessary. If this is what we have to do to win "the War on Terror," then I don't think I want to win. I don't think we deserve to win.

I am glad that I can worship God as I see fit and am glad that our Constitution affords others the privilege to do so as well. Even Muslims. If the recent polygamy sect coverage in Texas teaches me anything, it's that it's a tricky proposition to lump a small group of fanatics in with a larger religious group. I personally cringe whenever "Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints" is spoken over the air because I know that being tied, even tangentially, to that sadness on display sets us back as a people. I would imagine that Muslims feel a similar twinge of remorse when their religion is portrayed as a haven of psychopathic zealots hot for Infidel blood.

I am glad that, come November, I can step into a little booth and, after months of thoughtful consideration and prayer, (and I'm serious about this. I've prayed about it. And I feel good about my decision.) vote my conscience as to whom (did I use that word right? Doesn't sound right.) would make the best leader for our country for the next four to eight years. I am confident you will do so as well.

As a member of the church I think one of the most interesting things I have learned is that "united" does not mean "uniform." We can disagree on things like politics, sports, science or American Idol and still be working toward the same goal: happiness in this life and eternal life in the Kingdom of Heaven. Whether Republican, Democrat or in-between, I truly believe that the vast majority of the American people are just, reasonable and good people who want to do what's right. We just go about it differently. Because we're different. It's sort of how we were made, right?

I'm not asking you to agree with me, just to respect that I, as a Mormon and a Democrat, feel and think differently on some issues and respectfully ask you to understand that. There is a reason that our political system, which I believe to be divinely inspired, allows for two or more parties. There is more than one way to look at any problem. None are necessarily "more right" than the other. They're different. As I'm sure you know, the truth most often lies somewhere in-between two diametrically opposed poles. Vilifying the opposition or making them out to be a bunch of crazy people is short-sighted and damaging to our country and our cause.

Please know that I love you as a sister in Christ and wish you well.

Your brother,
Dylan

I sort of have a history of these long-winded political e-mails that never get sent, don't I, Chanel? It's sort of my thing. Michaelangelo painted ceilings, Perseus beheaded Medusas, I write rambling political e-mails that I never send.

Part Of A Fair, Blanced Diet

Here are some political videos* that you have probably already seen. Here's one for the John McCain crowd:

And here's some TRUTH about Hillary:

Horrible! But wait, there's more:

And to be fair, here's one about my main man:

And there's this:

Good luck getting that tune out of your head, suckers! I am cackling maniacally! You can't hear or see it, but I am.** Yeah!

I'll post a list later as well as post a little about next month's NaBloPoMo challenge. Exciting, right?

*******

Big thanks to 23/6 for these videos. There's some pretty funny stuff there.

* Or if you "don't watch PBS," you'll probably refer to them as "propaganda."

Sorry, let me explain: I was checking on on some of my blog buddies and one of them had posted about a recent Frontline episode titled Bush's War (which I haven't seen). My blog buddy commented that they had watched it and "Wow. We're a mess." (Yeah. Pretty much.) There were a couple of comments, one of which asked if the program was "propaganda" and went on to remark that there is a "reason [they don't] watch PBS," but said they would "try to give it a listen." (Emphasis added by me for dramatic effect. Also, because I'm sort of a jerk.)

This immediately caused me to, quite frankly, flip out. You do not mess ... with the PBS. (Did somebody say "T-shirt slogan?")

Now, I'm sorry to pick on some random person on the Internets, but that's quite possibly the weirdest thing I have ever read online. Okay, so maybe it's not even close, but man, my mind is reeling from that comment. I tried to respond but I was just too flabbergasted to ever hit the "Post Comment" button.

Plus, I felt bad about ripping into some stranger on somebody else's blog. It's one thing to do it on your own blog - which I obviously have no problem with - but I rarely comment on this person's blog (nothing personal, I just don't) and thought it rude to do so just to say "Wow, you have some really weird ideas about stuff. That comment will one day, eventually but most assuredly, give me an aneurysm. Congrats."

PBS is a fountain of liberal propaganda? Really? Nova and Masterpiece Theater and Mystery! and Great Performances and Sesame Street? Really? Okay, I'll give you Sesame Street. I don't trust that Cookie Monster. He never blinks! Like, EVER!

Am I crazy? Is PBS so obviously left-wing and I've just been blinded by it or is this just someone voicing an unfortunately ill-informed opinion over the Internets (which is really what it was created for, but still). And I apologize in advance if this is one of my blog buddies' really close, personal friends or family, but I had to get this off of my chest somehow. Otherwise, My Head = Splodey.

I feel better now, don't you?

** I wasn't really. I totally lied.

Black Is the New President

Patti mentioned on her blog that Tracy Morgan was on SNL this weekend, so, naturally, I immediately had to track down the video or risk my head exploding. It's a response of sorts to Tina Fey's pro-Hillary rant a few weeks ago as well as a pretty racist remark from Hill's camp that boils Barack's success down to his skin color and "luck" (yeah, so more popular votes, more states and more delegates ... all by luck. If he's that lucky, dude should in Vegas throwing dice, not breaking his back to be the next president of the United States).

But anyway, I'm not going to go into just how much this pisses me off (although I sort of did, didn't I?). Tracy, the floor is yours:

(Warning: This is sort of PG-13, so "earmuffs," kids)

"Black Is the New President." You heard it here first, kids.