Facebook Freakout

So, I searched myself on Facebook, which I would not recommend. Any feelings of specialness will be instantly crushed when you find out that there are a few pages of people with exactly the same name as you. [ sigh. ] "You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and we are all part of the same compost pile." Serenity now.

Also, you may find a picture like this:

This is Dylan Todd. According to the little profile search listing, he's from Las Vegas. And from what I can gather, he looks EXACTLY. LIKE. ME. Well, at least the little picture of him does. Freaky, right?

I don't think I was prepared for this. Seriously, I'm sort of freaking out. What if it's someone who's stolen my identity only instead of ruining my credit, they're gallivanting around the internets posting things as Dylan Todd in order to ruin my indie cred? If so, how did he get that picture of me bathing two small dogs? I have never done such a thing, so either it's a fake (and why someone would invest that much time into faking a picture of a guy in a bandanna bathing dogs is a whole other mind-blowing conundrum) or he's a clone. An evil dog-washing clone. Or I have a whole other personality like Dr. Jekkly and Mr. Hyde, only this Mr. Hyde washes dogs when I, Dr. Jekkly (or am I Mr. Hyde? Dude, what if I'm Mr. Hyde?! Did I just blow your mind?), eats cookies in Cleveland. DUDE! Existential identity crisis eminent!

I've got to go lie down. This is too much excitement. Serenity now.