Greatest Hits, vol. 1?

More like Greatest Hits of Poo, vol. - ∞*.

Also, more like the Poo Poo Dolls.

Yeah. I "went there". I'm a sad, sad man.

Man, I hate the Goo Goo Dolls. They represent everything phony and middle-of-the-road about rock & roll. It's the most turgid phony baloney whiny business rock ever produced. Their catalog is like infinite versions of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn," shed of any irony and sang in such a postured, "Look at how sensitive I am. Aren't I troubled? Don't you want to reform me and my rock & roll ways?" whine.

I imagine that the Devil thinks they're like, totally awesome and plays them all of the time in "the Hot Place". He has a concert t-shirt and everything.

I am slightly car-wreck-interested in that American Idol For Sort Of Lame Bands show (dude, that Mini Me Metal Band is seriously hilarious/awesome... but that's a whole other post), but having to look at/listen to Goo Goo doll singer/professional Jennifer Aniston look-alike - Johnny Rzezzeezznijjkglik or whatever - totally kills whatever guilty pleasure I might derive from watching crappy bands do crappy covers of crappy Billy crappy Joel's crappy songs (and that's not a lot of pleasure, believe you me... also, my dislike of crappy Billy Joel is another post as well).

So, yeah. I hate the Goo Goo Dolls and you should too. because they suck. and it's the law to not like them. And I am the law.

The end.

P.S.: Also, if I ever have a band, we will be called Debate Team. Or Panther Paw. Or maybe we can compromise and name ourselves Debate Panther. Or Paw Team. Or Team Paw.

But not Panther Team. That is, as the kids are saying these days, "so played out".

* That's "Negative Infinity," for all non-math-ers out there.