Anyway, here's an awesome illustration of Seaguy and his new sidekick, Lucky El Loro (I miss you, Chubby Da Choona!):
If you haven't read volume one, Seaguy and the Wasps of Atlantis, you should do so, if you know what's good for you. And what's good for you is Seaguy, and lots of it. It's completely ridiculous, surprisingly tender and will make you ten times smarter than you are now. If you rub it on your scalp, it will cure baldness and dementia. It's science.
There. That ought to do the trick.
ETA: By the way, that's Brains from the Thunderbirds. Get it?
Dear Sister So & So,
I hope this doesn't offend you and know that what follows is meant with respect and love, but we would appreciate if you would please stop forwarding these political e-mails to us. Just because we go to the same church does not necessarily mean that we hold the same political opinions. See, I and my wife are Mormon Democrats, one of those mythical creatures you read about in books but never see in reality, like a unicorn or the Loch Ness Monster. There are not many of us, but we do exist.
Hi!
As to your forwarded e-mail, titled "Wake Up, People", I would like a chance to respond to some of the things I took umbrage with.
Personally, I am glad I live in a country where I and my countrymen are free to say what they will about the President, regardless of the who sits in the Oval Office. And yes, this includes jokes at out leadership's expense, in peacetime or war. This is why my ancestors fled their native lands years and generations ago, to be free to speak their mind without fear of being clapped in irons or beheaded in the public square. I'm glad that I have the freedom to say that our war with Iraq is misguided at best, a complete sham and a waste of life and treasure at worst. I am glad that people are free to protest a war they do not agree with just as I am glad and proud of those men and women who fight on behalf of our country. I only wish we were honoring their sacrifice with a war that was worth dying for. I am glad that someone like Stephen Colbert can roast the President at the White House Correspondents dinner and not have to worry about "being disappeared." Partially because it reminds us that our leaders are human beings, not infallible demigods whose word is as if from Heaven.
Also, because it's funny.
I am glad that newspapers keep watch over our government and expose inhumane treatment of fellow human beings in the custody of our armed forces. As an American and as a Christian, I cannot see any instance where complete degradation, physical torture (I looked "waterboarding" up; it's torture) and gross mistreatment can be construed as proper or necessary. If this is what we have to do to win "the War on Terror," then I don't think I want to win. I don't think we deserve to win.
I am glad that I can worship God as I see fit and am glad that our Constitution affords others the privilege to do so as well. Even Muslims. If the recent polygamy sect coverage in Texas teaches me anything, it's that it's a tricky proposition to lump a small group of fanatics in with a larger religious group. I personally cringe whenever "Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints" is spoken over the air because I know that being tied, even tangentially, to that sadness on display sets us back as a people. I would imagine that Muslims feel a similar twinge of remorse when their religion is portrayed as a haven of psychopathic zealots hot for Infidel blood.
I am glad that, come November, I can step into a little booth and, after months of thoughtful consideration and prayer, (and I'm serious about this. I've prayed about it. And I feel good about my decision.) vote my conscience as to whom (did I use that word right? Doesn't sound right.) would make the best leader for our country for the next four to eight years. I am confident you will do so as well.
As a member of the church I think one of the most interesting things I have learned is that "united" does not mean "uniform." We can disagree on things like politics, sports, science or American Idol and still be working toward the same goal: happiness in this life and eternal life in the Kingdom of Heaven. Whether Republican, Democrat or in-between, I truly believe that the vast majority of the American people are just, reasonable and good people who want to do what's right. We just go about it differently. Because we're different. It's sort of how we were made, right?
I'm not asking you to agree with me, just to respect that I, as a Mormon and a Democrat, feel and think differently on some issues and respectfully ask you to understand that. There is a reason that our political system, which I believe to be divinely inspired, allows for two or more parties. There is more than one way to look at any problem. None are necessarily "more right" than the other. They're different. As I'm sure you know, the truth most often lies somewhere in-between two diametrically opposed poles. Vilifying the opposition or making them out to be a bunch of crazy people is short-sighted and damaging to our country and our cause.
Please know that I love you as a sister in Christ and wish you well.
Your brother,
Dylan
I sort of have a history of these long-winded political e-mails that never get sent, don't I, Chanel? It's sort of my thing. Michaelangelo painted ceilings, Perseus beheaded Medusas, I write rambling political e-mails that I never send.
Sad or funny?
Early word is that this is going to disappoint.* Who cares? It's Indi-freaking-ana Jones, people!
I N D I A N A J O N E S !
Now, I've already explained my blind spot for Star Wars. Yes, I know the prequels were bad. Sure. Whatever. Still, there are some thing in each of those movies that I lovelovelove. Yes, I said "love." Three times. Deal with it! This blind spot? Goes double, maybe triple, for Indy. You have been warned.
Okay, so this has the LeBouf in it. That sets off some alarms. BUT, it also has Karen Allen, Marion from Raiders Of the Lost Ark, which is sort of cool. It also stars Cate Blanchett. (And I love Cate Blanchett. I must tell you this.) As a Soviet treasure hunter. Who is looking for crystal skulls. That may have something to do with aliens. From outer space. Those aliens.
Also, did I mention it has Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones in it?
I think that sort of makes up for the LeBouf and then some, don't you?
Anyway, so Indy 4 may suck. Big time. But come May 22nd, I will be there. In the Theater, popcorn in hand and a big stupid grim splayed across my face. And I will most likely love it.
You?* Though let's be honest: this is a sequel to a series whose last installment was delivered to theaters almost 20 years ago and whose cultural impact is really immeasurably huge. Does that sound like a film that could make everybody happy?
Holy. Freaking. Crap.
If anyone has any questions, I'll be over here in the corner, freaking out.
WHAT!?! Who in their right mind would play, let alone buy, a Heidi freaking Montag video game? I mean, if the point of the game was to, I dunno, throw her down a flight of stairs or push her in front of a steamroller or feed her to baby Godzillas, then maybe, but come on? What would you do in this game? Collect gold coins and spend them on upgraded noses or something?
Seriously, this world baffles me sometimes. Baff. Fles.
* I can't figure out if this is the most awesome or most adorable thing I have ever seen:
A little help?
* I freaking hate my eyebrows. They get so bushy and long so fast. It's probably my fifth least-attractive feature, right behind my nub of a tail, the seven toes on my right foot, my partially absorbed zygotic twin and the pinkie finger growing out of my spine.
* This James Brown poster is pretty dang radical. As are these James Bond hardcovers from Penguin. Oh, and this illustration of the cover to Pet Sounds courtesy of James Jarvis is pretty mind-blowing, as well.
* Sadie's new haircut is pretty dang cute, eh?
* Should I check out Matt Fraction's new Iron Man series? Has anybody read it?
* There's a new Futureheads album out on the 26th. It is called This Is Not The World. This is proof that there is a benevolent creator that loves us.
* I'm starting to read Neil Gaiman's Sandman and checked out a buttload of The Invisibles volumes from the library. Wish me luck.
* For some reason, the words "Gator Hat," when put together, make me smile in my insides.
* The un-scoop-able John Kendall hipped me to the delicious British comedy, The Mighty Boosh, which, it turns out, is not available on DVD in "the Colonies." Bitter much, Britain? Geez, so we kicked you butt like 200 years ago. Get over it already and just give us all your good TV. I mean, it's only like, what, five shows, max? Come on. Don't be such a "blüdy-wainkur" or whatever the word is that means "d**che" in British.
* Is there a better song in the world than "The Fake Headlines" by the New Pornographers? If you can find one, I will give you your weight in gold doubloons.
* I am sort of really happy the the guy who looks like a dreadlocked Blossom got kicked off of Idol last night even though I could literally - LITERALLY - not care less about that show. Is that weird?
