You Boyfriend Is Back And I'm Going To Be In Trouble!!!

Meet Martin.

He's 30. He likes heavy metal, Mad Max movies and books on tape. The last time he cried was during a laser light show set to the music of Sepultura. He's a pisces, which means he likes seafood? So my astrology's not so hot. Anyway, he owns a Dodge Dart with peeling paint and he'll be really sweet to you if you just go out with him. He'll make you a mixtape of speed metal and entitle it, "My Heart Beats Like a Double Kick Drum Only For You!!" He lives in a garage and has a waterbed and a blacklight poster of a skull. With flames. And a unicorn. On fire. He is hardcore but will love you forever and ever and will even let you wear his t-shirt that was signed by the one-armed drummer from Def Lepard even though, "they suck now." He will name you first child "Megadeth," if it's a boy and "Megabeth," if it's a girl. Say yes.

1 comment:

Candace said...

Oh....so funny. Megabeth. genius.