RSWTH!?!, Part 1

Okay, so I'm flipping through this (last?) week's issue of Rolling Stone and, well, I'm gettign ahead of myself. Maybe I should preface this by saying that with every new issue of Rolling Stone, I am guaranteed at least one moment of mind-boggling insanity that makes me stop and say "WTH was that?".

This / possibly last week's issue is no exception. Let's start with the Raconteurs. There' a write-up about their new album (which is really good), Consolers Of the Lonely. The Raconteurs are a supergroup with only one superstar, Jack White of the White Stripes. The band is rounded out by fellow Detroiter, singer-songwriter Brendan Benson and the the rhythm section from garage revivalists the Greenhornes. Here's a picture of Jack White who, as usual, is the coolest guy in the room:

Then there's the Greenhornes Dude 1 (whose outfit I really like. You can't see the jeans/shoes, but he's dressed pretty nicely. Oh man, I sound like a total girl, don't I?):

Greenhornes Dude 2, who looks more than a little like Crispin Hellion Glover, (who has creeped me out ever since my buddy Frank played me his album):

And speaking of "creeping me out", here's Brendan Benson, looking like the physical manifestation of the gaping maw of hell:

I used super-top-secret technology to figure out what Benson's thinking here. Check it out:

Isn't technology wunnerfull?

"Okay," I thought, "maybe it was just a fluke. Maybe that picture was the only one where the other guys looked good and Brendan, being a swell guy and not at all the Spawn Of Satan said 'Oh, what the heck, just run it. I look like some sort of escaped mental patient who would like to murder you, but I'll take one for the team.' Yeah, that's it." I thought.

Well, let's see, here's a shot of the band for a quarter-page ad later in the issue:

Jack White:

Greenhornes Dude 1:

Greenhornes Dude 2 / Crispin Glover's lovechild:

Aaaand Brendan Benson:

Look! The eyes follow you! Freaky!

Well, I'll be sleeping rotten tonight for fear of Brendan Benson crawling out from under my bed all Twin Peaks-like where it's backwards, but forwards, y'know what I mean? [shivers] Ewwww.

Anyway, as WTH!?!-tastic as this little jaunt was, it's not even the WTH!?!-iest. I'll post Part 2 later while this percolates in yr brains.

1 comment:

jason quinones said...

yeah that guys seething with bottled up childhood angst and rage!

i don't wanna be in the same state as that guy when he decides go postal!

the kids still say that...go postal?