6.04.2008

RSWTH!?! Part 2

So here's the second part, the biggest part, of stuff that made me go insane while flipping through Rolling Stone.

There are some match-ups that you just don't understand, some people that just don't jive when you put them together. And no, I'm not talking about Woody Allen and Bono, though that is a little surreal:

No, I'm talking about this match-up:

WTH!?! Seriously, there is a lot to freak out about in that photo. I will focus on three main points:

1. Ryan Adams' female companions
2. Ryan Adams' appearance
and finally,
3. Mandy Moore? WTH!?!

Let's begin:

1. Ryan Adams' Female Companions

Let's go down the list of Adams' previous partners: Winona Ryder, Beth Orton, Parker Posey, apparently Alanis Morissette's somewhere in there, a prehab (and yes, I made that word up) Lindsey Lohan (!?!) and now, uh, Mandy Moore. Does anybody else see a trend in age here? As in, "they're getting exponentially younger"? At this rate, by this time next year Ryan Adams will be spotted "canoodling" (oh, I loath/love that word) with a fetus.

2. Ryan Adams' Appearance

What happened here? He looks like a homeless guy who decided to dress in drag but changed his mind at the last minute. Ryan, I love you and all, but you look retarded. That said, I loved Easy Tiger and "Pearls On A String" is a gorgeous song. Also, please buy a full length mirror and use it before leaving your house.

Thank you.

3. Mandy Moore? WTH!?!

Now I'm sure she's a nice girl and all and seems moderately intelligent (she was pretty excellent in American Dreamz as a narcissistic, manipulative pop wannabe) and wholesome and even though her music is just terrible, she has a decent enough voice and seems (seemed?) to have her head screwed on straight, but how did this happen? It's like some Random Semi-Celebrity Relationship Generator went haywire and started pairing up two diametrically opposed persons. What's next? Rob Zombie and Tori Spelling? Screech from Saved By the Bell and Heidi Klum? Burt Reynolds and Chewbacca? Seriously, people, WTH!?!

And while this pairing makes my head spin, I will say this, if it turns out this manages to go "big time" gossip-wise, you heard the nickname "Ryandy" here first. I'm just saying...

4 comments:

jason quinones said...

my first thought when i saw this pic was "set shot from from some new surreal warhol biopic".

Candace said...

oh my hell.

Candace said...

he is a retard when it comes to dressing himself. and that hair.....oh my gosh. that hair is the most horrible thing i've seen in my life.

John Kendall said...

Oh Dylan. You are funny. Keep doin' yer thing.

Dear Ryan. Please stop doin' yer thing.