Lemme Tell You Something, Kids

There are many things in this world that I know. I'm not bragging, I'm just saying. You hang around this world long enough and keep your ears and mind open, you pick stuff up. Stuff like the fact that Empire is easily the best Star Wars movie. Or that music sounds better with headphones on. That baseball is best enjoyed at the stadium with a bag of peanuts, maybe a hot dog or two. That, despite your prayers, wishes and letters to Santa, maybe there will never be another Grandaddy album. That Grant Morrison stands bald head and shoulders above anybody else in the rapidly fading field of comicbookery. That maybe wrestling isn't entirely real. That there is nothing sadder/funnier/more annoying than a bunch of middle-aged drunk guys all dressed up for a night on the town singing "Who Let the Dogs Out" at the bar of an Italian restaurant and somehow managing to sing it wrong. That Jack Kirby was called "The King" for a reason. That "the Numbers" don't mean anything really, they're just mysterious numbers, so stop asking the producers what they mean.

Well, I can add this to my list of "Things I Know": Diet Dr. Pepper is freaking delicious.