Rainbows and Licorice

So I was walking to pick up lunch for the office today (oh! the joys of Junior Designer-hood!). It was cold - low-30's - but sunny, and I was just walking to Nate's which is a block away, so it wasn't that bad. Cold, but yeah, not that bad.

I was walking past the Westside Market and there's this guy who sits out there playing guitar. He's most likely homeless, though he looks pretty clean, so maybe not. Anyway, he sits there and plays folky-type music (he was just getting started on Buck Owens' "Act Naturally"), I'm assuming for tips. I pass by. He says "Hello," all friendly-like. Nice guy. Long hair. Beard. Burned-out hippie, most likely.

I say "How you doing?" Because I'm a nice guy.

"Oh, just livin' the dream," he says, wistfully.

I chew on this for a while, this romantic notion of living one's dreams. Who hasn't entertained fantasies of living off the land, stretching out and really living? It's very Kerouac-ian, very Thoreau-esque, y'know? Here's this guy and he's doing what he loves. He doesn't need a stage or a microphone or even an audience, really. All he needs is a guitar, a song and a patch of sidewalk. Am I this brave? Am I really doing what I would if I had a real choice in the matter? If The Man wasn't keeping me down?

"Livin' the dream." That's freaking heavy, man.

Then I remember. It's 30 degrees outside. Dude's sitting on the concrete in 30 degree weather singing songs for pocket change. In Cleveland.

Sorry to judge you, but that's a pretty crappy dream, man.

*******

The moral of this story: if you're going to follow your dream, make sure your dream isn't stupid. The end.

(Did somebody say "New Computer Desktop"?)

What Spock Found In Kirk's Toilet

Am I the only one excited about this? I am, aren't I?

Seriously, I hate Trek, (too much TALKING! Can you please just blow something up PLEASE?! Would it kill you to stop talking about the warp drive FOR ONE SECOND and just blow some stuff up? Seriously.) but then again, I thought I hated the Mission: Impossible franchise and Abrams managed to change my mind about that, didn't he?

The answer is: "Yes. Yes he sure did."

My only qualm is that it's a prequel and we all know how that worked out for that other (and still beloved by me, despite its squandered potential) space saga. I'd much rather they found a way to revitalize the Trek Universe beyond dusting off the admittedly beloved characters from the first series. It's a great concept and it would be fun to see it reimagined by the brains behind the bestest television show in the world: Lost.

(Only... [checks dashboard widget] 192 days, 10 hours and 56 minutes left until season 4! Now would be a perfect time to start renting the DVDs of past seasons and getting caught up! Seriously, summer TV is teh suck. You will thank me. You really don't want to watch the Singing Bee, do you? I didn't think so.)

Now would probably be a good time to admit a few things. In the second paragraph of this post, I said that I hated Star Trek. That is not entirely true. I may have fudged the truth a little. Sorry. Firstly, I loved the first four Star Trek movies. Especially the fourth one. It is amazingly hilarious. Secondly, as a preteen, I really dug the first two or three seasons of Next Generation. DON'T JUDGE ME! I was young and didn't know any better. It had "Star" in the title! It was trickery! Finally, the original series is always, always good for a laugh.

[whew]

I'm glad I could get that off of my chest. I feel cleansed.

Anyway, so I guess I'd better start brushing up on my Klingon, move back in with my parents, set my phaser to "stun," and start referring to anything I don't understand as "illogical, Captain" because I will be all over this movie. For reals.

How Freaking Cool Is This?

I have no idea how this guy made this superrad Space Invaders clock (despite the fact that he kind of describes it, but he must be speaking Greek because it makes zero sense to my monkey brain), but somehow, he did. And it is pretty awesome. Thank goodness it isn't a Dr. Mario clock, because then I would have to learn Greek because I want one of those.

I freaking love Dr. Mario.

We Are Going To Rock

We are going to blow out the speakers on the stereo.
We are going to tear the roof off of this sucker.
We are going to party like it is going to be 1999.
Or 1899 for that matter.
We are going to dance until our legs fall off.
We are going to party like it was going out of business.
We are going to sing songs that haven't been written by anyone on this planet, we will sing them so loud the moon will cry because its ears hurt.
We are going to kick this party out the door and then invite it back in, only to kick it out again.
We are going to throw the kind of party that you can only experience in history books.
We are going to rock like Napoleon Bonaparte.
We are going to rock like Pablo Picasso.
We are going to rock like Vasco da Gama.
We are going to party until the sun burns up.
We are going to party until we run out of music.
If there is a world record for rocking, we will break it to pieces.
We are going to rock like electric robots on fire.
Our party will rock so hard that the crust of the earth will rupture, spilling out massive amounts of molten hot awesome that will burn us all to cinders.
We are going to party like astronaut explorers being ripped apart by a black hole.
We are going to party like hypnotized donkeys.
We are going to party like breakdancing kung fu masters.
We are going to rock like Godzilla, Bruce Lee and Frankenstein teaming up to beat the living bejeepers out of Dracula, the Mummy and the Wolfman.
And Mothra.
And Martha Stewart.
And that one guy with that beard that comes out to here.
And Keanu Reeves.
We are going to kick this party like it is a bad habit like heroin or listening to Rush Limbaugh.
We are going to rock like 76 electric guitars wailing in the darkness of a scorpions heart.
We are going to rock like kittens drinking a saucer of milk.
We are going to rock like rattlesnakes who have grown to an unimaginable size.
We are gong to rock like Batman and Superman got into a fight over who their favorite Spice Girl is and they didn't speak to each other for weeks.
We are going to explode the sun with our rockingness.
Our party will become the legends of future civilizations.
Our ability to rock is second to none.
We will not be out-rocked.
Everything must be rocked.
The ottoman.
The electric can opener.
The other can opener that you have to turn with your hand.
The butter knives.
The bones of dinosaurs.
The unicorns of Norway.
The pet rock collection.
The stained glass windows depicting how we rock.
The entire set of Franklin Mint commemorative plates.
Potsy, Mouth, Richie and especially the Fonze.
They must all be rocked.
We are going to rock our faces right off of our heads and it will be so much better than that movie with John Travolta and Nicholas Cage.
We are going to rock like tube socks made from electric eels with electric eyes and electric toothbrushes.
We are going to rock with the combined power of all of Jack "King" Kirby creations.
Which is a lot of power.
We are going to party like pirates on the high seas of love.
We are going to rock like it is the law and we must obey it.
We are going to rock like the Pythagorean Theorem.
Like the Berlin Wall.
Like a baby's scream.
Like a bobcat's tail.
Like the wild blue yonder.
Like a special effect.
Like the moon on the water.
Like the ocean's tears.
We are going to rock so hard, Bigfoot will come our of hiding and regain his rightful place as King of the World.
We are going to rock because we know of nothing else we do as well.
We are going to rock because we like - no - love it.

We are going to rockrockrock.

Oh yes, indeed.

...If I can just find that Paula Abdul cassette.

He's A Rocket Man

Dude. I was checking Veer's "Ideas" section again and found this nugget. Some of it's amazing, some of it's merely cool, some is unimaginatively obvious and not at all cool. But still, who'd have expected so much amazing art produced in the name of He Who Has Gone Where No Man Has Gone Before - William "the Transformed Man" Shatner?

I did mention it was a link for a recent art show featuring artist's renditions of William Shatner, didn't I? I didn't? Well it is. And it's fairly impressive.

In keeping with Shatner's career over the last 20 years or so, it's all incredibly self-deprecating. I admire the man's ability to laugh at himself, because really, when your entire career is built on playing an oversexed astronaut (and it's amazing how quickly the image of Captain James T. Kirk pops int one's mind when you think of Shatner isn't it? It's like T.J. Hooker never existed. And that's a shame, really.), if you can't laugh at yourself, well... it's garden hoses and exhaust fumes, I guess. Or, you know, numbing the pain with alcohol.

So, well played Captain William T. Shatner, Canada's Favorite Son. Shine on, you crazy diamond. Shine on.

"I Saw It And Wanted To Try It."

I found these last weekend when I volunteered to help move books from a local junior high. I love the fact that their first question for the first man on the moon isn't: "So, First Man On the Moon, huh? How was that?" It's "Did you fight in any wars?" Genius.

I'm assuming they got an "A."

I Don't Know Much

But I know this much: if and when it comes down to it, we must triumph over the dinosaurs. I suggest we defeat them with astronauts. Who have laser guns. And jetpacks. And bazookas. Yeah, that should do the trick.

Wow. I Suck At Blogging - or - Stormtroopers and Scott Pilgrim.

It's been a week or so since my last post. My, how time flies. If you remember, I had posted herethat I was going to post on a few things soon. Those things, if you're playing along at home, were:

"Picked up a few weeks worth of comics. Expect reviews.

On a related note, Free Comic Book Day was Saturday. I will give you an unflinching look into the dark heart of the event.

New episode of Lost as well as the launch of the Alternate Reality Game - The Lost Experience.

Podcasts: are there any good ones?"

Of those four things, how many have I actually posted on? One! Yay! I suck at blogging! Anyway, so it's time to clean up shop, as I'll be out of the Big Red Robot offices for a bit and I don't want to leave any unfinished business behind. So, without further ado, let's chat, shall we?



First off, Free Comic Book Day. Okay, so those are word that, when said together evoke some magic that makes my heart go all thumpitythump. Free Comics?! I am so there that it is not even funny my good sir. It's like that feeling when someone says "free candy," or "free cake." It's like some amazing dream that you have as a kid that has come true some multitude of years later. For anybody that knows me, you know that I loves me some comics, but you also know that I am poor. Poor as dirt I am, so the idea of a day where I can get a number of comics for nothing is, to say the least, very appealing.

Last year, I picked up some really cool stuff, namely the Sharknife one-shot and the Project: Superior sort-of sampler. Interestingly enough, this is the one time of year when I see the shadow of any kind of indy, non-guys-in-capes-and-long-underwear-punching-each-other book. And I loves me some indy books. Don't get me wrong, I'm no Comics Journal-reading comics snob. I like the superbooks as much as the next comics nerd. I just like other stuff as well.

Anyway, so back on task. I showed up about ten, fifteen minutes before I had to get to work, as the snarky kid behind the counter knows my name now that I have a box there and I have to leave a cushion for if he gets talking about something, though today I arrived early because I figured there'd be a bit of a crowd and I wanted to make sure I got my stuff wit henough time to get to work on time. Anyway, so I'm pulling into the parking lot and there are streamers and balloons and...Stormtroopers? Now, the counter kid had mentioned the Star Wars Dress-Up Club would be there, but I figured (hoped?) by the afternoon, they'd be gone. I was wrong.

Now, I love Star Wars. And I love comics. But I have a real problem with the two of them together. They make no sense when placed together. I'm sure that a majority of comics fans are also sci-fi fans, I know I am, but for a comic book event, wouldn't it make more sense to be dressed as a comic book character rather than a haracter from a science fiction film? It's like me dressing up like an astronaut at a car show. They're both modes of transportation, but really, only tenuously related.

Anyway, so I make my way past these guys, trying not to make eye contact with them, and I get my books. The counter kid pulls a Free Scott Pilgrim out of my box because I was a bit wooried they'd under-order tham and I'd be stuck with no SP goodness.

Anyway, here's my roundup: (originally posted over at iFanboy)

Bongo Comics Free-For-All! - Dunno why. I was curious about the Bongo house style and loved Futurama and the Simpsons (back when it was funny...remember those days). Plus, it was free. Pretty dreadful stuff, actually. It was written, I assume, by the type of people who think they're quite clever and keep elbowing you in the ribs and winking after each punch line.

Future Shock - From Image. Snippets from upcoming issues of Fear Agent, G�dland (which is why I picked it up...That book totally owns me), Invincible (which I really need to get around to reading), Noble Causes (makes my head hurt), Savage Dragon (featuring a blatant rip-off of the Super-Skrull) and, uh, Witchblade (no inerest whatsoever). An interesting idea on paper, but the inclusion of only a few out-of-context pages left me confused and didn't whet my appetite at all.

X-Men/Runaways - Skottie Young's art bugs. I have no problem with "cartoony," or "kinetic," art (heck, I love Sharknife to little bitty bits) but to use it well, it has to be used in a proper context, and maybe it's just me, but the X-men just don't seem to fit that style of art. Also, the whole "they meet misunderstand each other and fight and then come to a truce," thing is REALLY played out, especially in Runaways. I dropped this title back at the beginning of teh second series and, well, this didn't make me want to come back, unfortunatley.

The Preposterous Voyages of Ironhide Tom! - Far and away the best thing to come out of FCBD-06. Joel Priddy's brillaint "Onion Jack" strip from the Superior Sampler stole the FCBD-05 show. After thoroughly enjoying that clever dissection of, and love note to, the superhero genre, I honestly would have paid good money for this, the unlikely tales of the child of a "scurvy sailor" and a, uh, typhoon, as he ammasees and loses fortunes and, basically, has a bunch of adventures that straddle the line between myth and ridiculousness. Pure gold.

Free Scott Pilgrim - I [heart] Scott Pilgrim. Seriously, this is one of the best little OGN series out there - a hybrid relationship comic/arcade game that reads a lot better than it sounds. It's a ton of fun. This was a funny little taste of his universe, but admittedly, it's a bit lightweight. Creator Brial Lee O'Malley's website, www.scottpilgrim.com, says vol. 3 is at the printers and should be in your LCS on May 24th, so that's good news. After devouring the first two volumes (vol. one: Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life and vol. two: Scott Pilgrim Versus the World), I've been waiting (not so) patiently for this one: Scott Pilgrim and the Infinite Sadness. Smashing Pumpkins reference? I am so there. If you love Nintendo, love and/or rock&roll, check this out - stat.

Owly: Breakin' the Ice - Man, I so want to like Owly, but it's just a bit too cutesy for me. Still, for kids, it's a decent gateway comic ("get 'em while they're young...") and I admire his use of visuals rather than text to convey the story.


So there you go. Not a bad haul for free. Some genuinely good stuff in there, too. So, one down, two to go. Can I get a "what what?"