A Dip Into This Old Box Of Comics

A while back, I helped somebody from church move out of their house. As we were finishing up, I noticed a box of old comics and asked what was going on with them. The guy told me they were the ones his son didn't want and if I'd like them. Now, I'm sure you know this, but asking me if I want free comics is like asking Dom Delouise if he'd like seconds. Yes. Please. Of course I do. Even if they're terrible. So I now I own what I will now refer to as This Old Box Of Comics. It looks exactly like this:

I'll dip in every now and then and give you a scan or two from this treasure trove of awesome. Like this for example:

Oh, look, it's Gotham City's commissioner Gordon on the phone with Batman! What could the problem be? Has Killer Croc escaped from Arkham and eaten a bunch of orphans? Perhaps the Joker has poisoned the water supply with a hallucinogenic agent that makes anyone who drinks it think they're the Kaiser? Or maybe Two Face has murdered a bunch of librarians in protest of the Dewey Decimal System?

Or, uh, that. Now if I were Batman, I'd hang up the phone immediately and go back to, you know, fighting evil while dressed as a large, flying rodent, but, unfortunately, I'm not Batman. Batman, well, Batman pretty much freaks out:

I don't know if I blame the fella though. I mean, this is a guy who tangles with some of the most dangerous lunatics in the DC Universe. As a hobby. I'd imagine the promise of a golden sponge cake with creamy filling inside awaiting his safe return to the Batcave is all that keeps him from snapping. And I just can't imagine what it would look like if Batman finally snapped. How horrible would that be?

Oh, and then there's this, from another advertisement in the same issue:

I can't tell, is Batman threatening me or hitting on me? You decide!


Panels taken from Action Comics # 458, published April 1976.


jason quinones said...

hitting on you. DEFINITELY hitting on you.

i can see the bat nipples protruding from here.

barlows said...

Dylan, help! This has nothing to do with comics (sorry, can't hang there, but bat nipple?) There's a brew-ha-ha on my blog about my "Can of Worms Post" and I'm searching for the post you made a while back about emailing the lady in your ward back. Can you comment my blog with that link? I can't even remember the month you posted it, but it was SO worth referencing/linking/quoting and was hoping you wouldn't mind, being a Mormon liberal and all. Thanks!

Ryan C. Adams said...

I will not be impressed until DC comics are delivered directly to my boxer shorts.

Hey man, I need you to comment on my blog: www.castlewriter.blogspot.com. You are specifically mentioned in todays post.