D is for "Dragons"

A report on them by an 11-year-old kid who is overly obsessed with them.

Dragons are probably the most awesome creatures that ever existed. I am so sad that dragons no longer exist, but a big lizard that breathes fire is so cool an it's sad they are gone and we don't have them around any more. Scientists still don't know where the dragons went but the most popular theory is that they evolved into chickens. I think this is why we love to eat chicken, to get back at the dragons for cooking so many humans and then eating them. Take that, former dragons! I am eating you! You taste like irony!

My favorite piece of chicken is either the thigh or the drumstick. They are so juicy! You could even say I'm cuckoo for chicken! I am definitely a chicken fan. Yumyumyum!

I bet if dragons were still around that hippie Al gore would totally be having a fit right now and making charts showing how dragons are ruining the world but we all know that dragons are the best and Al Gore should just go invent the internet or Hot Pockets or the George Foreman Grill or something and stop bumming everybody out! For serious!

For dragons being the awesomest there ever was, there sure aren't a lot of good movies featuring dragons in them. I can think of three: Reign Of Fire (starring that guy Matthew McConaughey who is always really sweaty and looks like he smells like dirty socks and those funny cigarettes and also Batman is in it, too), Dragonslayer with the guy from that Allie McBeal lawyer show with the skinny scarecrow lady and the dancing baby and Pete's Dragon, starring the drunk midget guy.

That last one is very scary as it features a bunch of hillbilly types. Hillbillies are frightening. More frightening than dragons. I think a hillbilly dragon would probably kill people with its scariness. People would look at it and get so scared they would explode. KA-BOOM!

I think a great name for a dragon movie would be Dragonkillers about a bunch of people who go around killing dragons and stuff and getting treasure and one guy has a big sword and another guy has a like a spear or something and they have a robot. Who has a big sword, too. Or a laser cannon. In his eyeballs. That would be sweet.

If I had a pet dragon I'd name him Peppers because peppers are hot and so are dragons! Hot temperature-wise as well as the other kind of hot! J/K! Dragons are sort of gross-looking, like big lizards or something. Ew! Also, Peppers is a cute name.

In conclusion, dragons are cool and you should love them because they are awesome and cool. I love dragons! Yay!

The End.


Today's post via Chanel (whose blog is invite-only, suckas!). And yes, I am sort of scared of her.

1 comment:

chanel said...

very funny.
my hubs watched Pete's Dragon like everyday when he was kid- but he was raised by hllbillies so it wasn't quite as frightening- he didn't know any better.

and im private cause I don't need no stinkin back talk from people i don't know, all the people that do know me just talk about me behind my back like nice friends cause yes, like you, they're ALL scared of me, except your wife who is probably the bravest girl I know.