F is for "Free Comics!"

So this Saturday, May 3, is Free Comic Book Day at your local comic book shop. Yay! If you don't know what FCBD is, it's a day where one can brave the Nerdhive and get comics for free. For free!

Now some of you may have never been in a comic store or haven't been in one in a while. This is understandable. I like comics and most of those places creep me out. So I, being the awesomely nice person I am and sort of a comics evangelist, have put together a handy guide to assist you in your free comic book spree. I know, I know, but you're worth it.

Let's look at some of what's offered (you can view that whole list at the aforementioned link), shall we?

Hellboy/B.P.R.D. - Um yeah, get this. Hellboy is great comicbookery and the B.P.R.D. series is pretty excellent as well. Different beasts entirely as B.P.R.D. reads sort of like a paranormal G.I. Joe (that phrase should have got your nerd blood pumping) and Hellboy is a more thoughtful affair (well, as thoughtful as a book about a demon from hell punching giant Nazi gorillas can be), but man, it's some great stuff. Also, I [heart] Duncan Fegredo.

All Star Superman #1 - Um yeah, get this, too. Probably the best superhero comic book published in the last 10 or so years. Excellent stuff. And the best art is, it's totally, completely accessible to new readers, rather than the nigh impenetrable stuff DC normally spews out. Get it. In fact, get two and give one to some kid or something.

Project Superpowers - I heard Alex Ross was trying a new technique here where he paints the superheroes and makes them look like real people! I know, cool, right? It's like Superman looks like my neighbor! Awesome! I kid, I kid. Ross does what he does very well. Unfortunately, what he does, I'm tired of seeing. I'll pass.

Broken Trinity Preview - I have never read a Top Cow book ( I was born with the defect called "the ability to steer clear of this sort of embarrassing crap") and I'm not going to start now. Sorry! Not even if it's free! Whee!

X-Men - Marvel, being the marketing geniuses have decided to capitalize on the fact that FCBD falls on the opening weekend for what is poised to be a huge box office success, the Iron Man movie by offering ... an X-Men comic. In all fairness, it's silly to try and get people to read the Iron Man monthly because, well, it's most likely horrible stuff, especially since he's the World's Greatest D**chebag since last year's Civil War blockbuster crossover. So, yeah, go with the X-Men.

That said, I'd probably stay away from this as the X-Men universe is totally screwed up and totally not worth your time to decipher, except Mike Carey's writing and he's competent, bordering on good (I really loved what he was doing on Ultimate Fantastic Four before I dropped that title due to low fundage). On the other hand, Greg Land is the artist. Greg Land sucks. Big time. So, yeah. Maybe?

Worlds Of Aspen #3 - Avoid this like the Plague. The art of Michael Turner and his evil clones It will give you cancer in your nether-regions. You have been warned.

Tiny Titans #1 - I'll probably pick this up for Sadie.

Gegika: A Drawn+Quarterly Manga Sampler - Okay, I'll bite. Sure. I mean, it's free, right?

I.G.N.A.T.Z. #1 - I'll pick this up for sure.

Disney's Gyro Gearloose - Carl Banks' Uncle Scrooge stuff is always a good bet, especially for younger readers.

E.C. Comics Sampler - Yeah, this is coming home with me.

Marvel Adventures: Iron Man - Definitely a smart move, as (from what I understand), the Marvel Adventures line is pretty solid. And it's an Iron Man tie-in. With a Hulk story, to boot. And it's written by Jeff "the Interman" Parker.

Wait, did Marvel do something not catastrophically stupid? Should I be worried?

Anyway, I'll pick this up.

Atomic Robo & Friends - I've heard a lot of good things about this Lucasfilm-backed title (the publishing company is called Red 5, fer cryeye!). I'll check it out.

Amelia Rules! - For Sadie.

The Moth: Greatest Hits - The Moth appeared in a couple of Madman issues back in the day (you know, the one where the guys who looked like Conan O'Brien, Andy Richter and Max Weinberg kidnapped Frank), so I am contractually obligated to be interested in this one.

NASCAR Heroes: All-Star Special - Oh geez. No.

Owly & Friends - This is a good sampler for kids, even if Owly is so cutesy it is physically painful. I'm really excited about the Kolchaka strip in here.

Gumby's Coloring Comic Book Special #1 - I really need to be picking this up when it comes out. Seriously, read this solicitation:

Gumby snaps back! Courtesy of writers Mike Hersh (Rabid Animal Komix) and Bob Burden (Flaming Carrot), along with art from series favorite Rick Geary (Victorian Murder Mysteries) and fellow comic greats Phil Ortiz (The Simpsons), Ken Hooper (Aquaman), and Mel Smith (Dead Ahead) in this spectacular coloring comic edition! Infected by a computer worm our favorite bendable hero seeks help from the Mad Doctor. A mini-Gumby is created and embarks on a hilarious adventure inside his own body searching for the terrible worm. Will Gumby find the worm? What does the inside of a clay boy look like? Find out and join in the fun as you get to be the colorist in the wackiest Gumby tale yet!

Um, yeah, I'm there.

And there it is, FCBD 2008. I'm a little sad that there's no AdHouse offering this year, as I've always been blown away by their output, but there's enough in here to make braving whatever weird stuff may be going on at my local comic shop, so, yeah.

The End.