BRR Goes to the Movies - Speed Racer

I guess I don't get it, the whole Speed Racer thing. I have no connection/nostalgia for the character, so I guess I have to approach this trailer from a purely knee-jerk, visceral reaction. So here goes: This movie looks pretty dumb.

I mean, I know I'm supposed to be dazzled by the gravity-defying races and tracks and whatever, but it looks like a rainbow threw up all over Disneyland and Hot Wheels are being thrown across it. And as far as using the Matrix as a selling point, you're dealing with a guy who tuned out of Matrix Reloaded about ten minutes in, (I think it was the "Okay guys, we're all going to die unless we fight the robots. So, I propose we have a rave!" scene that started the snowball down the hill of hate.) and didn't even bother with Revolutions due to my disgust.

I will say this though, the movie has John Goodman in it, so it won't completely suck. (What's that you say? The Flintstones? Now why did you have to go and bring that up? Why would you do that?) Also, am I the only one who snickers every time Matthew Fox is doing that Will Arnett voice?

Also, there is a chimpanzee in this movie. Maybe they should have added more? If there's one thing life has taught me, it's that you cannot have too many chimpanzees in a movie. I'd definitely see a Speed Racer movie with a cast composed entirely of chimpanzees. (But then again, I own Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp on DVD, so maybe I'm not the best judge.) I mean, getting convincing performances out of a dozen or so chimpanzees can't be any more difficult than getting a convincing performance out of Keanu, right Wachowskis?

Anyway, Speed Racer opens May 9th. I'd Queue it, unless it totally gets savaged online and by critics when it comes out. How about you?


jason quinones said...

i've never seen an episode of speed racer so i've also no preconcieved childhood memory nostalgic interest in the movie either. visually, it does looks like an epileptic seizure waiting to happen. i could only assume the imax version comes with a barf bag under the seat.

now maybe if it was speed racer vs. bj and the bear(from the beloved 70's tv sitcom of the same name)i might see it!

more chimps can only make things better!

jason quinones said...

so yeah...

i'm scrolling down and i read your post about seizures...

but it was AFTER i just finished writing about the seizure inducing qualities of speed racer!

coincidence or conspiracy???

Dylan said...

Jason, Re: "more chimps": I knew I liked you for some reason.

Re: " Coincidence Or Conspiracy?": why can't it be both?

chrishaley said...

"...it looks like a rainbow threw up all over Disneyland and Hot Wheels are being thrown across it."

And that doesn't sound awesome to you?! I swear, man, you should be writing the ad copy for them!