Happy Nevada Day!

"Congratulations, Mr. Lincoln! It's a state!"

As we all know, today is the day that we celebrate the birth of the Silver State. Happy Birthday, Nevada! Hope you all have a safe and sane Nevada Day celebration.

Oh yeah, it's also Halloween.

I always loved that we got the day of Halloween off of school when I was a kid. That was awesome. Candace said they don't do it anymore. To that I say: "WTH?!" How else can we celebrate the day that our fine state was pulled, bloody and screaming, from the womb of these 50 Nifty United States? Also, how else can we celebrate sitting around, waiting for it to get dark so we can get candy? For free! For free, I say!

Somehow, this is all Ann Coulter's fault.

Anyway, remember to check your candy. There's some real nutballs out there. Keep it tizz-ight for shizzle. I've got to go steal some of my daughter's candy and smash some pumpkins.

Peace.

Boys Becoming Men, Men Becoming Wolves

Did anybody else almost pee themselves with laughter when Tracy mentioned his "spooky, scary hit," "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah" a couple of weeks back on 30 Rock? Because I sure did.

Well, NBC.com is hosting a contest where you can shoot your own video for the song. Yeah, it's a shameless grab for some sort of viral fame, but hey, if it draws people to the show, I'm all for it, because I don't think I can stand the heartbreak of losing a show this good. Not after Arrested Development.

That made say this: " : ( "

More exciting than this though is that fact that they have the full version of the song available to download right here. See? There on the left. Sweet, right? And just in time for Halloween, too.

This makes me say: "Wheee!"

Anyway, So I've Been Thinking

I've been thinking about New Year's Resolutions for some reason this week. Normally, I think they're a load of crap. Well-meaning crap, but crap nonetheless (you know, sort of like America's Most Wanted). Last year I had hoped to read an average of a book a month, which I pretty much did. I also had the goal of posting on this blog 365 times. It's looking like I'll hit (and hopefully exceed) that number. That I have accomplished these feats is excellent, as I have never accomplished a New Year's Resolution like, ever. Right, barely-started awesome comic book script? Right, showering at least once a week? Right, cure for cancer? Right?

So, anyway, I've been thinking, and this is my long list (some of which are fake, but I guess you'll have to figure out which ones) of possible New Year's Resolutions:

* Eat 125 tacos.

* Write something of a substantial length (essay, short story, review, etc.) every month.

* Have a monthly mixtape giveaway for the faithful blog readers/commenters.

* Learn to speak Elvish. No, not "Elvis." "Elvish." It's what elves speak. Why would I want to speak "Elvis"? That's just nerdy.

* Take public transportation whenever possible.

* Find some way to volunteer for that one politician I really admire but shall not name for fear of hate comments because for some reason once you start talking politics on the internets, some people (not you people, of course. You people are good, decent, level-headed people. I mean those other people. You know the ones. NASCAR types. Them.) just stop being civil and forget that other people might see things differently than they themselves do.

* Stay caffiene free, baby.

* Wear more sombreros.

* Ty not to get too excited about the new Star Trek movie, despite the fact it will most likely rock my socks clean off.

* Make my way through the 36 chambers of Shaolin Kung Fu and defeat the dark master that waits inside that final and deadly chamber.

* Resist the urge to grow a mustache, even as a joke.

* Purple.

* Pick up my sobbing guitar and play it every now & then.

* Continue with my Picture Of the Week (aka POW!). Finish off that roll of film still left in my Holga. Use the Lomo Quadshot more.

* Continue to rage against the machine. And by "machine" I mean "the evil that is the jelly donut."

* Think about maybe starting some sort of exercise thing. Because I am getting old.

* Play more video games. Seriously.

* Kill that darned Sasquatch once and for all.

Anyway, so that's the long list. Care to help me weed it down? I know, hard to pick, right? Well, if you want to help, comment below.

Yet Another Hare-Brained Lost Theory!

So basically, Jin is a dead man. Right, Mr. Eko, Libby and Ana Lucia? Getting arrested for drunk driving hasn't exactly worked out forLost cast members.

[sigh]

Well, at least my boy Hurley hasn't been pulled over. That would suck big time.

POW! #20 - Autumnal Apples

From our recent trip to the pumpkin patch/orchard/farm just south-west of Cleveland. Candace blogged about it here.

Best Way To Self-Induce A Seizure. Ever.

Hey! You out there! Yes, you! Have you ever wondered "How can I give myself a seizure in the comfort of my own home and/or place of business?" Well, you're in luck! Now you can do this very thing using only the sound of every Beatles album ever sped up to 800 times their original speed? This, ladies & gentlemen, is what technology was invented for. Well, this and Photoshopping images of Chuck Norris karate kicking sharks... ON THE MOON!

You are welcome.

Do not listen while operating a motor vehicle or heavy machinery. Do not listen to if you are pregnant or thinking of becoming pregnant. For external use only. Do not use while sleeping. May cause anxiety, heart palpitations and/or explosive diarrhea. You may also grow extra toes and forget how to do math. At the very least, you will get a headache about seven minutes in. Big Red Robot and its parent company, AOLTimeWanerPfizerNewsCorpKillerRobotsInGorillaSuitsLLC, is not responsible for any unwanted side-effects experienced as a result of exposure to the Sped Up Beatles Thing. Also, we are not liable if you get pregnant from it. It's strong stuff.

BRR Goes To the Movies, vol. 22 - the Last Picture Show

Okay, so I have no clue what this is about (time travel? immortality?), but it's the first "real" Coppola movie in a long time (his last directorial effort was the Grisham adaptation, the Rainmaker which was excellent and easily the best of the "Grisham adaptation" genre). So, yeah. I'd like to see this one.

He's said that seeing the films of his daughter, Sophia (who has directed three pretty excellent films: the Virgin Suicides, Lost In Translation, and Marie Antoinette - all of which come recommended by the Big Red Robot) has inspired him to get back to work. And he has. Big time. According to IMDB, he has three films in production, including an adaptation of On the Road (which he's only producing, but still), which normally I'd be wary of.

But it's Coppola.

I'd Queue Youth Without Youth, if only because the man deserves at least that. Seriously, go watch the Conversation. It's a masterpiece.

And that's it. The trailers are over. The lights have moved from "dim" to "off" and the projector clickclickclicks to life as the feature starts in fits and jumps. It's still. It's electric. It's a great feeling, isn't it?

More Than Meets the... Oh, Forget It

Okay, so I watched Transformers over the weekend and man! that movie is the very definition of "craptastic." It's totally loud, moronic, and awesome. Basically, imagine it as being E.T. written and directed by a 17-year-old with ADD and an unhealthy love for the US military (also pronounced: "Michael Bay"). And instead of a cute little alien that looks like somebody melted your grandma you have a bunch of giant transforming robots.

From outer space.

Also, there's Jon Voight as the Secretary of Defense and the always amazing John Turturro as a psychopathic secret government agency spook. So yeah, tough call. Did I mention the giant transforming robots? From outer space? This movie is part genius, part trash and all somewhat satisfying in the same way that eating and entire box of Charleston Chews can be satisfying.

Let me just say this: I am in no way advocating this movie, especially if you have no love at all for the 80's toy property, as any "fun" to be had is entirely dependent on some sort of warm (if misguided) nostalgia for the Robots In Disguise™. But it's as good as a movie based on a bunch of old toys should, and possibly could, hope to be. I mean, remember the Garbage Pail Kids Movie? (Which, along with Lancelot Link: Secret Chimp, I honestly believed I had made up, since every time I talked to anyone about them, people looked at me like I had just said "Hey! Let's eat dirt!") This easily could have been that bad (or Masters Of the Universe even, which - let's be honest - uses a fairly similar plot), but, despite itself, it isn't. It's like Independence Day, only slightly better, probably because Will Smith isn't anywhere near it.

If I've said it once, I've said it a million times: Nothing spoils a good time quicker than the Fresh Prince. Them's words to live by.

Also, this movie is way too long. Like, an hour too long? An hour and a half? Seriously. And Michael Bay loves him some Army men, doesn't he? He should have just made a big loud war movie separately and got it all out of his system because as it stands, it feels like two movies stitched together. And as long as I'm kvetching, where does that last battle take place? I mean, they're at Hoover Dam and then they're heading to "the City" which, if this were at all based in reality - and it isn't, let's just settle that there so you can enjoy it a little bit more - would mean Las Vegas, right? But it sure looks like, I dunno, downtown LA (it was probably shot somewhere in Canada, though) or something, to me.

Anyway, so that's my review of Transformers: It's terrible, but awesome. If you expect the worst, you'll be pleasantly surprised. Or at least not totally irate.

And until next time, the balcony is closed.

BRR Goes To the Movies, vol. 21

A big, huge oil period epic starring Daniel Day-Lewis? Okay, sure. Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson, director of Boogie Knights, Magnolia and Punch Drunk Love? Uh, okay? Sure? I'm flagging this up for the sheer unexpectedness of it. PTA's a fine director and I applaud the heck out of him for trying something so... not-Paul Thomas Anderson-ish. I'd thin kabout Renting it. Why not?

:(

So, the Indians lost. No, I don't want to talk about it. Insert obligatory "We'll get 'em next year," "the better team won," "blahblahblah" loser talk in the space provided:

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