10.25.2007

Best Way To Self-Induce A Seizure. Ever.

Hey! You out there! Yes, you! Have you ever wondered "How can I give myself a seizure in the comfort of my own home and/or place of business?" Well, you're in luck! Now you can do this very thing using only the sound of every Beatles album ever sped up to 800 times their original speed? This, ladies & gentlemen, is what technology was invented for. Well, this and Photoshopping images of Chuck Norris karate kicking sharks... ON THE MOON!

You are welcome.

Do not listen while operating a motor vehicle or heavy machinery. Do not listen to if you are pregnant or thinking of becoming pregnant. For external use only. Do not use while sleeping. May cause anxiety, heart palpitations and/or explosive diarrhea. You may also grow extra toes and forget how to do math. At the very least, you will get a headache about seven minutes in. Big Red Robot and its parent company, AOLTimeWanerPfizerNewsCorpKillerRobotsInGorillaSuitsLLC, is not responsible for any unwanted side-effects experienced as a result of exposure to the Sped Up Beatles Thing. Also, we are not liable if you get pregnant from it. It's strong stuff.

2 comments:

b3n said...

MY HEAD ASPLODE.

And, if you haven't seen any Strongbad Emails, you need to.

Emilio Z. said...

dang dyla, you have wit bro!