"I Shall Call Him... MAGNIFICAT!"

On the way to the library, which has sort of become my Saturday thing to do, I pass a private Catholic school. On the side of this school is the word "MAGNIFICAT." Now, according to the internet that is some sort of Catholic incantation/prayer-thing, but in my mind I like to believe it is referring to an awesome giant tiger, not unlike Battle Cat and how, if somehow "Battle Cat" hadn't been available, "Magnificat" would have been a great second choice. Not better, per se, but equally incredible.

In fact, if I were to have a talking killer tiger who let me ride him around, I would easily name it "Magnificat." Or "Rupert, the Magnificent Talking Killer Tiger". Either way. Win-win, y'know?

Now all of this Battle Cat talk got me thinking: Skeletor had a panther he rode around on, Panthro (I'm so glad we have the internet so I can recheck all these oh-so-important facts), right? Do you think that He-Man's buddies ever talked crap about the fact that Skeletor rode around on a purple panther? I mean, just saying that sounds like a pervy euphemism, doesn't it?

I can totally see Ram-Man and Man-At-Arms knocking back some ales at the Eternia Tavern and totally ripping on Skeletor and his pretty purple panther. And Beast-Man overhears and starts crying because they're being mean to Skeletor.

"Come on, you guys," he says, "It's bad enough the guy has no face, but you've got to make fun of his choice in feline companions? Sorry Panthro's no Battle Cat, but some of us aren't spoiled little rich kids like that fruity Prince Adam kid you guys are always hanging out with. No wonder we're always trying to destroy you. You guys are jerks! 'Masters Of the Universe'? More like 'Masters of Conceitedness'!"

"Come on Mer-Man, this place stinks all of the sudden. Good day, sirs!"


And then he storms out, followed by a sort-of embarrassed but also indignant Mer-Man and Man-E-Faces.

And this is what I think about. Sad or interesting? You make the call.

1 comment:

rose said...

that was great. he-man is the best! by the power of grayskull!