BRR Goes To the Movies - It Hurts!

Okay, so, Matthew McConaughey as an irresponsible man-child? Check. Who's also a treasure hunter? Check. In a film which co-stars Kate Hudson as the woman who is great for him, but just can't handle his boyishness? Check.

It's almost like there's a huge, gymnasium-sized, ENIAC-type vacuum-tubed computer that just spits this stuff out on little punched Scan-Tron cards, like a Random Rom-Com Generator or something. And now it's totally just repeating itself, bumping onto the same wall over and over again like that robot cop in THX-1138.

Because this, this... thing can't possibly have been made by a living, breathing person with a soul. Only an old, unfeeling machine with a vendetta against its creators would be cruel enough to release such an insidious thought-bomb on the Fleshy Ones.

And Donald Sutherland is in this?! Why? That Medicare check not cutting it?

To this abomination I say, No Thanks, but only because my mother taught me better than to say what I'd like to say. What do you think?

Until next week, my nizzles.


Caitlin said...

I'm a sucker. Total sucker. What?! Matthew McConaughey's hunky. Yes. I just said hunky. Okay, wait, what if I tell you I won't pay to see it?

Dylan said...

Caitlin, I applaud your honesty. And while I cannot speak to Mr. McConaughey's "hunkiness", I can say this: dude look like he smells like armpits, Schlitz and Old Spice. He looks like he smells like the back of a 1974 Ford Econoline van with shag carpeting and a blacklight. He looks like if he sat on your couch, he'd leave a grease spot like the one under my car.

But that could just just be a holdover from his role as the lecherous 20-something who still hung out with high schoolers in Dazed & Confused.