If the Pavement Shirt Fits...

I was told by my boss the other day that I have "slacker voice." We were rerecording our outgoing message after a storm fried our telephone system and I was nominated for the task.

At first I was offended. I mean, I was in theater classes for half of my high school career and in choir the other half. My voice is not necessarily teh sexy, but I'm not exactly Cheech and/or Chong, either. But then I took a hard look at myself and said, "Y'know, I do have a laid-back quality to my voice. To my life even."

The signs are all there: I listen to Pavement religiously. I lay down when I watch TV or read. I rarely tuck in my shirt and always roll my sleeves up when I wear long sleeves. Even at church. I wear my Converse All-Stars every chance I get. Even at church. (That is a lie, though I would if I could, believe you me) I refer to people as "dude," or "homedude," when I'm not into the whole brevity thing. I don't watch the news because it bums me out. I use the phrase "bums me out." I say "y'know," after almost every sentence, y'know? I empathize with the Dude in the Big Lebowski, although I have never smoked pot nor have I been attacked by a ferret owned by German nihilists whilst smoking aforementioned herb in my bathtub. Though if it were possible, I would live in my bathtub. I like Cheetos cheese puffs and Cookie Crisp cereal. I watch cartoons whenever possible. I don't wear a watch and am okay with that decision. I have seen roughly 78 hours worth of Gilligan's Island reruns and probably twice that of Batman (the Adam West one) reruns.

So, I guess it's time to stop living in denial: I am a slacker. And I am proud.

And a little sleepy.


b3n said...

We both listened to Some Loud Thunder today! Mad Props!

Candace said...

hee hee.

i think your voice is "teh sexy"

courtnee said...

Can I just say I really needed to read this blog today. I haven't laughed all day because I have been going crazy being a mom. Jon got home and I have spent the last hour locked in my room trying to rejuvenate myself. Thanks to your blog and making me laugh, I now feel that I can unlock the door.
I love the part about the Big Lebowski...such a classic movie.

Dylan said...

Glad to help, Courtnee. Our motto here is: "Big Red Robot: Helping Mommy Not Go Crazy."