Okay, so check this out. After this here post, I will have posted a grand total of 497 times. Or, if you're all into Roman numerals that's CDXCVII. In three more posts I will be at 500, or, D. This is epic. Like unto Gilgamesh. Look it up. It's in a book or something.
I have no clue how I will celebrate this momentous occasion, but I will say this: it will be the stuff of legends. Aesop himself will rise from the grave and spin mad tales about this post that will also have some sort of moral. You know, for the kids. It will be the kind of legend that former civilizations built religions around like some guy turning into a swan or a bull and getting his freak on with a mortal lay-day. It will be like the legends of old where the one guy gets all lost in the maze and the minotaur tries to get him and he flies off but gets too close to the sun and falls onto an island and has to hide under a sheepskin from some blinded cyclops while sirens sing and meanwhile dudes are totally trying to lay the mack down on his old lady back home.
Or something like that.
Bottom line: it will be the nadir of my blog posting thus far. A veritable zenith, if you will. It will be fairly boss.
Or I will just post 500 pictures of M.O.D.O.K. Either way, everyone wins.
Seriously though, how should I celebrate? I thought about giving something away, but doesn't that seem a little... backward? It's like my blog birthday. You don't give presents on your birthday, you get presents, right? But who would give me presents? And what would I give people, anyway? Old socks? Cool stickers? A drawering of some sort? I thought about making a list of 500 things but man... that's a lot of things. I also thought of listing my top 500 posts, but... well that would be all of them, wouldn't it? Maybe 500 haikus? 500 words on why I think kung fu is teh radness? 500 reasons why Star Wars is better than Star Trek?
Do you see my dilemma? It is of ( wait for it ) immense proportions. So I pose the question to you, beloved internets: What would you like to see for my 500th post?