...

And that's it for the lists. [ phew ] Now, onto LETTERS!

If you haven't put in your A to Z list, then by all means do so now, because once April hits, the doors are closing and the Funky Train is pulling from Radopolis Station. Make sure you're on board. Big thanks to everyone who's given me lists already. You guys rule.

March Of the Lists - #31

1. 2001: A Space Odyssey
2. About A Boy
3. American Graffiti
4. Annie Hall
5. Bananas
6. Bandits
7. Best In Show
8. The Big Lebowski
9. Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure
10.Bottle Rocket
11. Cast Away
12. Chinatown
13. Chungking Express
14. The Conversation
15. Cool Hand Luke
16. Crimes And Misdemeanors
17. E.T.
18. Ed Wood
19. Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
20. FLCL (aka: Fooly Cooly)
21. The Fountain
22. Ghostbusters
23. The Godfather / The Godfather, Part II
24. The Goonies
25. Gremlins
26. Grosse Pointe Blank
27. In The Mood For Love
28. The Incredibles
29. Raiders / Temple Of Doom / Last Crusade
30. Interiors
31. Jurassic Park
32. The Last Waltz
33. Mary Poppins
34. Minority Report
35. Napoleon Dynamite
36. O Brother, Where Art Thou?
37. Play It Again, Sam
38. The Princess Bride
39. Raising Arizona
40. Rebel Without A Cause
41. The Royal Tenenbaums
42. Rushmore
43. Seven Samurai
44. A New Hope / Empire / Jedi
45. The Straight Story
46. Take The Money And Run
47. This Is Spinal Tap
48. Tremors
49. True Stories
50. Unbreakable
51. Waiting For Guffman
52. Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory
53. Zero Effect

March Of the Lists - #30

1. United States
2. Canada
3. United Kingdom
4. Norway
5. Japan
6. India
7. Germany
8. Italy
9. Russia
10. Australia
11. Bulgaria
12. Costa Rica
13. Mexico
14. France
15. Taiwan

March Of the Lists - #29

1. Madman Atomic Comics #s 6 & 7
2. Immortal Iron Fist #13
3. G.I. Joe #49 (old school, baby)
4. 20 Swedish meatballs with gravy, potatoes & lingonberries
5. All-Star Superman #10

*******

ETA: I added a bunch of answers to previous lists. I think I got through #26. Numbers 27 through 29 still need some answerin', though.

March Of the Lists - #28

1. The Hot Potato
2. Boogaloo
3. The Baconator
4. Deputy Dawg
5. Awesomealicious
6. Hot Cross Buns
7. Crocodile Funkee

*******

Don't forget to leave your A-Z list. Please won't you?

Alphabetical

So the NaBloPoMo keyword for April is "Letters," which could refer to a letter you would write someone or to the letters themselves. At least that's how I'm reading it.

So I'm asking for your help. Give me a list of words A-Z (for example, "A is for Avalanche," "B is for Barbecue", etc...) that can help spark a blog post. Every day I will choose one at random and that, dear reader, will be my post. So, leave yr list in the comments portion. You can help make Internets History. You will be famous. Oh, so famous.

And now there's nothing left to do but, well, I'll let this creepy white trash guy's forehead finish that sentence for me:

What else needs to be said?

*******

ETA: I just found this drawing on the floor. It is awesome:

G'night.

March Of the Lists - #27

1. Black
2. Red
3. Kidney
4. Navy
5. Great Northern
6. Baby Lima
7. Large Lima
8. Pinto
9. Green Split
10. Dried Yellow Split
11. Black Eyed
12. Dried Red
13. Dried Green
14. Dried Brown
15. Dried Cranberry

Part Of A Fair, Blanced Diet

Here are some political videos* that you have probably already seen. Here's one for the John McCain crowd:

And here's some TRUTH about Hillary:

Horrible! But wait, there's more:

And to be fair, here's one about my main man:

And there's this:

Good luck getting that tune out of your head, suckers! I am cackling maniacally! You can't hear or see it, but I am.** Yeah!

I'll post a list later as well as post a little about next month's NaBloPoMo challenge. Exciting, right?

*******

Big thanks to 23/6 for these videos. There's some pretty funny stuff there.

* Or if you "don't watch PBS," you'll probably refer to them as "propaganda."

Sorry, let me explain: I was checking on on some of my blog buddies and one of them had posted about a recent Frontline episode titled Bush's War (which I haven't seen). My blog buddy commented that they had watched it and "Wow. We're a mess." (Yeah. Pretty much.) There were a couple of comments, one of which asked if the program was "propaganda" and went on to remark that there is a "reason [they don't] watch PBS," but said they would "try to give it a listen." (Emphasis added by me for dramatic effect. Also, because I'm sort of a jerk.)

This immediately caused me to, quite frankly, flip out. You do not mess ... with the PBS. (Did somebody say "T-shirt slogan?")

Now, I'm sorry to pick on some random person on the Internets, but that's quite possibly the weirdest thing I have ever read online. Okay, so maybe it's not even close, but man, my mind is reeling from that comment. I tried to respond but I was just too flabbergasted to ever hit the "Post Comment" button.

Plus, I felt bad about ripping into some stranger on somebody else's blog. It's one thing to do it on your own blog - which I obviously have no problem with - but I rarely comment on this person's blog (nothing personal, I just don't) and thought it rude to do so just to say "Wow, you have some really weird ideas about stuff. That comment will one day, eventually but most assuredly, give me an aneurysm. Congrats."

PBS is a fountain of liberal propaganda? Really? Nova and Masterpiece Theater and Mystery! and Great Performances and Sesame Street? Really? Okay, I'll give you Sesame Street. I don't trust that Cookie Monster. He never blinks! Like, EVER!

Am I crazy? Is PBS so obviously left-wing and I've just been blinded by it or is this just someone voicing an unfortunately ill-informed opinion over the Internets (which is really what it was created for, but still). And I apologize in advance if this is one of my blog buddies' really close, personal friends or family, but I had to get this off of my chest somehow. Otherwise, My Head = Splodey.

I feel better now, don't you?

** I wasn't really. I totally lied.

March Of the Lists - #26

1. Despite all my sci-fi talk, I am terrified of the idea of machines gaining sentience.
2. I threw up in an Olive Garden restaurant (the one on Nellis & Charleston, next to that Dylan's Saloon) while on a date with my lovely future wife. I rinsed my mouth out and finished up the date. I haven't eaten at Olive Garden since and I got the girl. There's a lesson there somewhere.
3. While I will vilify McDonald's every chance I get, I do so love a sausage McMuffin with egg every now and then.
4. I cannot not watch You've Got Mail if it's on. I try and make myself believe it's because of the Nilsson music that serves as the core of the soundtrack, but I know otherwise.
5. I really like "The Piña Colada Song". Like as in "not entirely ironically."
6. Those emo boy skinny jeans - I !@#$%^&* hates 'em. They make me feel violently angry. "Hulk Smash!" angry.
7. Even though I know they're not good movies, I'll be darned if I didn't enjoy large swatches of the Star Wars prequels.

March Of the Lists - #25

1. Nice morning & evening walk
2. Read a book
3. Be nice to the earth
4. The sound
5. Relatively inexpensive
6. Headphones on/music blaring
7. Big city feeling

March Of the Lists - #23

1. The Kraken
2. Godzilla Babies (like Muppet Babies, only Godzilla)
3. Attila the Hun
4. The Vile Hordes of Atlantis
5. Mummies
6. Cherry trees
7. Zombies
8. Werevolves
9. Martian Invaders
10. Celebrity gossip shows
11. Hungry, hungry hippos
12. Redcoats who were exposed to cosmic radiation, gained superpowers, and went berserk, wrecking the cites of Saratoga and Yorktown
13. Mesothelioma

March Of the Lists - #22

1. Guided by Voices - 374
2. Spoon - 285
3. Bob Dylan - 271
4. The Beach Boys - 254
5. The Beatles - 231
6. Yo La Tengo - 229
7. R.E.M. - 217
8. They Might Be Giants - 209
9. Super Furry Animals - 208
10. Sloan - 185
11. The Flaming Lips - 170
12. Pavement - 167
13. of Montreal - 166
14. Wilco - 164
15. Ryan Adams - 164
16. David Bowie - 154
17. Talking Heads - 151
18. Tom Waits - 145
19. Beck - 144
20. Elliott Smith - 144
21. David Byrne - 141

March Of the Lists - #21

1. Penelope Cruz
2. Anne Hathaway
3. Katie Sackhoff (aka "Starbuck")
4. Kate Hudson
5. Lucy Liu

March Of the Lists - #24

Super easy, but I thought it my duty as an American to respond to Patti's recent list:

1. Harvey Birdman, Attorney At Law
2. Space Ghost: Coast to Coast
3. Futurama
4. Home Movies
5. The Critic
6. FLCL
7. Seasons 3-8 of The Simpsons
8. Venture Brothers

Take that, Communism!

Kick Out the Jamzzz

I hope you got some rest this weekend, because I am planning on rocking you upside your melon with some blog-kicking madness. I ate a large portion of a pig over the weekend and now am totally ready to attack your jugular with my katana forged of purest radness. I am well-schooled in the dark art of ridiculou-jitsu, having been trained in the center of the earth by blind monks from outer space. Start preparing your defenses now, although your resistance will be fruitless, if not diverting. Amusing, even.

Let us do this thing.

*******

Photo courtesy LOLBama '08, which is some funny junk.

Hoppy Easters

Happy Easter, Internets. I hope you don't get diarrhea and that your duties are all good.

I'll be back on Monday. I hope you enjoyed your weekend.

Holy Rapid Eye Movement, Batman!

A shocking news item from the R.E.M. camp:

I'm not advocating violating federal copyright law, but I have heard that the new R.E.M. album, Accelerate has been leaked - for incredibly short windows of time before the Netzis remove it - in various corners of the Internets. I have also heard that it is very good. On par with Monster or New Adventures In High-Fi, which is to say it is incredibly guitar-driven and pretty much rocks one's socks off.

That's just what I've heard. From some people. Bad people. Pirate people. And not the cool pirates with parrots and wooden legs. Bad pirates. Eeeevil pirates.

I have also heard that the new Gnarls Barkley is album, The Odd Couple is good. Not as good as St. Elsewhere, as I'm sure all the hipsters will be quick to point out, but still quite good.

That's just what I've heard.

*******

Oh and by the way, this is post #700 on Big Red Robot. Thanks for reading and especially commenting. You're all beautiful people and I appreciate every one of you. Here's to 700 more posts about whatever. Peace in the Middle-you-know-where.

The Lovers, The Dreamers & Me

Did anyone else see this and get sort of excited? I sure did, but then again, I am Supernerd, so, yeah.

*******

And this is post #699. I'm one away from 700. Any ideas on what I should give away?

March Of the Lists - #20

After the last couple of toughies, I'll lob this one right over the plate for you:

1. Michael
2. Claire
3. Jin
4. Karl
5. Bernard
6. Mikhail again (third time's a charm)
7. J.R.

Rise Up With Fists!

Last Friday, my office went to the 31st Annual Cleveland International Film Festival (which wrapped this last weekend) and watched a presentation of the World's Best Commercials program. There was some funny stuff. Like this:

"You smell like vegan chili," is my new favorite insult. The others in the series are just as brilliant. See for yourself here, here, here and here.

I also thought this one was really clever (and just weird enough):

But this one took the cake, though. Enjoy.

My biggest regret this year was that the commercials program was the only film I saw over the two weeks or so the festival ran. Our office does all the creative work for the festival as well as the Cleveland Film Society and consequently we get a buttload of VIP passes to the festival but, for one reason or another, I didn't make it out. Lame, I know. And John Sayles was the spotlight director. How cool would it be to watch The Brother From Another Planet in the same theater as the man who made it? [sigh] Hopefully I will be a little more with it (and a little less snowed in/just plain lame) next year.

March Of the Lists - #19

1. Studs Terkel
2. Kirk Douglas
3. Art Linkletter
4. Karl Malden
5. Methuselah

The Year We Make Contact

I just found out that Arthur C. Clarke died. I'm sort of bummed. If you haven't read 2001, 2010, 2060 or 3001, you really should. They're totally bonkers. In a good way.

TV Eye {or} This Goes On For A Lot Longer Than It Should So I Apologize In Advance

Okay, so how funny was The New Adventures Of Old Christine last night? Am I the only person on the planet watching this show, because it's really freaking hilarious. Seriously, if you're not watching, you're missing out.

I'll be the first to admit that CBS' Monday night lineup is troublesome, especially if you're like me and are living in the DVR-/cable-less Stone Age. They have two really good shows, How I Met Your Mother and Old Christine sandwiched between two of the most hideous atrocities ever perpetrated in television: Big Bang Theory (or as I like to call it, "Let's just string a bunch of nerd stereotypes together and call it comedy") and {ugh} Two And A Half Men (also known as "That horrible, barfy, unfunny show starring Charlie Sheen's Skeletor Chin™ and Ducky"). Bummer, right?

It's really annoying, especially when you factor in that in CBS' on-air promos, Old Christine is not even mentioned as existing. It's like it's a ghost or something. I've noticed the same thing with Fox's Sunday night lineup and King Of the Hill, but that's understandable; Hill Has never been all that funny and I'm honestly surprised it's still on the air. I always have to check the calendar and make sure it didn't all of the sudden become 1999 again. Totally blows my mind.

And speaking of shows starring dark-haired females with serious problems, I caught the first two episodes of Jezebel James Rides Again, the new sitcom from Amy Sherman-Palladino, creator of the BRR-beloved Gilmore Girls, starring Parker Posey and the red headed girl from Can't Hardly Wait. Man, I wish this show was better. I really wanted to love it, really I did. It's not horrible, but it does have some strikes against it, three to be exact.

Strike One: it's a multi-camera, set-based sitcom, which seems so stale and artificial, especially when compared to The Office or 30 Rock or just about any show which went into production in the last two years.

Strike Two: It's really badly directed. I know it takes a while for a cast to gel, but you have some pretty talented actors (Posey, Lauren Ambrose, Dianne Weist as their mother) who just seem so... actorly and stodgy. I also missed the rapid-fire, too cute for its own good Gilmore banter that made me fall in love with the quirky hamlet of Stars Hollow all those years ago. This seemed like a pretty decent community theater play. On television.

Strike Three: The characters. After two - count 'em - two episodes, I felt like I didn't really "get" who these people were. We got the basic sketch: Posey's the responsible one (though she comes off as flighty and scatter-brained) and Ambrose is the stoner/unreliable one (though she comes off as just sort of rude). I know Palladino's going for complexity, but I just felt like I should know them a bit more, maybe? I dunno. Either that or they just weren't all that interesting. Or poorly directed (see "Strike Two"). Take your pick.

And while I'm talking about character, the cast is remarkably small. Part of the fun of Gilmore Girls was the cast of ancillary characters and Jezebel, partly because of its format (see "Strike One", above), has a skeleton crew of secondary characters: the boyfriend, the assistant, the parents... that's about it. But the format isn't entirely to blame, just look at a show like 30 Rock which has a pretty extensive cast (the fact I can name the writing staff - with the exception of the dude who's supposed to be Jimmy Fallon/Seth Myers - Frank, Lutz and Twofer, off of the top of my head only proves my point).

In the end, it just seems like Jezebel James just isn't trying hard enough. Which is sad, because Palladino deserves better.

And since this has already gone on too long, here are a few random thoughts regarding reality television:

* Dancing With the Stars - Oh my goodness, what happened to Priscilla Presley! She looks like someone who sustained severe burns and had to undergo serious facial reconstruction. Look away! Also, how hilarious is it that Pen Gillette is on this show? And Steve Gutenburg looks like a dancing robot.

* Beauty & the Geek - I am significantly less excited about this season. I may drop it entirely. Plus, I think the Asian dude is faking it. And the girls are just plain masty this season.

* The Biggest Loser - I am so glad the male contestants started putting their shirts on at the weigh-ins a few weeks back. It was getting pretty gross there for a while, what with all the flabby man boobs flip-flopping around, this way and that. I'm really hoping you got a nice mental picture there because if I had to endure it, you should have to, too.

And finally: * American Idol - First off, that Janis Joplin-sounding girl's voice makes my head feel all crazy inside. Seriously, it's like a bleating sheep who knows it's about to get sacrificed to Baal or something. It's nightmare music. {shudders} And secondly, should I be worried if I agree wholeheartedly with Simon like, all the time? Oh, and Seacrest is a twerp, isn't he? Don't you sit there wishing he would fall off the stage or slip while walking to talk with a contestant or accidentally wet himself on live television or something?

Because I sure do.

March Of the Lists - #18

1. Mahmoud Coroy
2. Elish Foerster
3. Isaac Chan
4. Ahmet Hutchings
5. Berkan Hommel
6. Cheri Ortega
7. Derek Anderson
8. Norman Kaplan
9. Carey K. Nelson
10. Sybil C. Meyer
11. Deann X. Jacobs
12. Jenifa James

Black Is the New President

Patti mentioned on her blog that Tracy Morgan was on SNL this weekend, so, naturally, I immediately had to track down the video or risk my head exploding. It's a response of sorts to Tina Fey's pro-Hillary rant a few weeks ago as well as a pretty racist remark from Hill's camp that boils Barack's success down to his skin color and "luck" (yeah, so more popular votes, more states and more delegates ... all by luck. If he's that lucky, dude should in Vegas throwing dice, not breaking his back to be the next president of the United States).

But anyway, I'm not going to go into just how much this pisses me off (although I sort of did, didn't I?). Tracy, the floor is yours:

(Warning: This is sort of PG-13, so "earmuffs," kids)

"Black Is the New President." You heard it here first, kids.

March Of the Lists - #17

1. Houston, TX
2. Baton Rouge, LA
3. Little Rock, AR
4. Augusta, GA
5. Orlando, FL
6. Charleston, SC
7. San Antonio, TX
8. Tampa, FL
9. Jacksonville, FL
10. Fort Worth, TX
11. Memphis, TN
12. Phoenix, AZ
13. Austin, TX
14. West Palm Beach, FL
15. Dallas, TX
16. Oklahoma City, OK
17. Las Vegas, NV
18. Nashville, TN
19. El Paso, TX
20. Tucson, AZ

Sunday Comics - Yes!

The overly excited and dread Rorkannu, evil lord of the Mindless Ones, as seen in the second Nextwave collection, appropriately titled: I Kick Your Face. Oh man, I love this comic.

March Of the Lists - #16

This one's a little harder:

1. Akron/Family
2. Best Fwends
3. The Black Keys
4. Blitzen Trapper
5. Blood On The Wall
6. Bon Iver
7. Crystal Castles
8. Darondo
9. Destroyer
10. Dr. Dog
11. Herman Dune
12. Earlimart
13. Elf Power
14. El Guincho
15. Faceless Werewolves
16. Georgie James
17. Grand Archives
18. The Helio Sequence
...
71. WHY?

Brace Yourself For Some Gutwrenching ... Metal!!!

We Redboxed Beowulf last night. I won't give a full review here, but it's a pretty dang hardcore movie. Lots of monsters getting tore up for reals. And Beowulf is sooo freaking metal. He's like a walking Danzig song.

March Of the Lists - #15

Here's an easy one:

1. "Go on, read some books."
2. "I look hideous!"
3. "The elders don't think I know a buttload about the gospel, but I do."
4. "Do you not realize I have had diarrhea since Easters?"

And finally:

5. "GETTHATCORNOUTTAMYFACE!"

March Of the Lists - #14

1. Stirring the Chili
2. The Gunfighter
3. The Cigarette Stomp
4. Fax Machine
5. The Boogie Monster
6. Shake N' Clap
7. Crab Cake

Quote For the Day

"A while ago, I was looking for a definition of art’s purpose. I came across one that I liked ... It’s from Horace, the Roman philosopher and critic, who wrote, “The purpose of art is to inform and delight.” I’ve been thinking about the purpose of art all my life, and Horace helped me to arrive at an understanding. Art is a survival mechanism for the human species. Otherwise, it never would have lasted so long.

"But how does it work? How does it affect us? Primarily, it makes us attentive to the reality of our own life. The first cave paintings made its viewers attentive to the spirit and character of the animals their lives depended on. Sixteen thousand years later, Guernica made us conscious of how cruel the death of the innocent could be. Picasso and Cezanne help us understand that things can be looked at from several points of view at the same time. When we pass a landscape and think of how much it resembles a Cezanne painting, we become aware that Cezanne has made us attentive to how we see a landscape. Picasso and Seurat anticipated and illuminated the science of the 19th century, demonstrating that a landscape is an accumulation of color fragments and spaces. Art may be the only truth we can ever know.

"The experience of art can be considered a form of meditation. By suppressing the debris of everyday life and the illusion that desire creates, meditation enables us to observe without judging. In this way, what is real to us becomes visible."

- Milton Glaser
From a February 15th, 2008 keynote address,
a full transcript of which can be accessed here.

Who Needs A Movie!?

Oh man, this is like a bad/good Tim & Eric sketch, isn't it?

I am appalled and enticed. Also, completely in awe. I need a video movie ... NOW!

March Of the Lists - #13

1. Those Damn Osmonds!
2. My Dad, The Zombie
3. Man Versus Semi-truck
4. Let's Talk About Squirrels
5. Please Stop Hitting Me
6. Car Wrexx!
7. I Can't Believe It's Not Sergio
8. Cowboy Versus Dinosaur
9. It's Prison Time!
10. You Are Stupid
11. Saint Erstwhile
12. History! Boring, Boring History!
13. Alligator Dentistry
14. America's Smelliest Feet
15. Make Morrissey Laugh!

That Time Of the Month - March - Your Monthly Mix From the Big Red Robot

As winter continues to melt outside my window, I need something to pick me up a little. Something big and sunny. Something with girls singing every now and then, Wall Of Sound epicness, maybe some strings or horns, harmonies, handclaps and a touch of heartache to make the sweet all that much sweeter. Something to melt the snow and shine some light into that cold gray heart of yours.

Something like a love affair.

As previously mentioned, here's the tracklist:

1. "Tonight I Have To Leave It" - Shout Out Louds
2. "If I Don't Live Today, Then I Might Be Here Tomorrow" -
Mando Diao
3. "The Midnight Choir" - The Thrills
4. "Song For The Songs" - The Concretes
5. "Mushaboom" - Feist
6. "She Heightened Everything" - The Pernice Brothers
7. "Forever Lost" - The Magic Numbers
8. "The Pledge" - Brendan Benson
9. "Shirin" - Jens Lekman
10. "My Revolution" - Papas Fritas
11. "Fraud In The '80s" - Mates Of State
12. "A New Name For Everything" - The Weakerthans
13. "If Looks Could Kill" - Camera Obscura
14. "The Vanishing Spies" - Frank Black
15. "We're From Barcelona" - I'm From Barcelona
16. "Chartiers" - The Essex Green
17. "Suddenly Upsidedown" - Oranger
18. "I Was Made For You" - She & Him
19. "Don't Be Shallow" - Sondre Lerche
20. "Let The Wolves Howl At The Moon" - Super Furry Animals

And here's the cover:

It all started with Jens Lekman's "Shirin", a pretty, sort of sad song about getting a haircut and sort of took off from there. It's pretty poppy, twee-ish stuff. Ben will probably not love it as much as It's All Fuss, but, well, I like it. It suits the season.

Download it here and tell me what you think.

March Of the Lists - #12

1. Matt Taibbi's political writing.
2. The record reviews (sometimes).
3. It was free.
4. There is no #4.

P.S.: The answer to #10 is "People For Whom I Would Travel Through Time In Order To Switch Them With Richie Valens, the Big Bopper and Buddy Holly, Thus Sealing Their Fates And Making the World That Much Better."

For Those About To Rock...

So the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame had their induction ceremony last night. Wow, these lists just get more and more depressing every year, don't they? There's always at least one person (usually not more) who - yeah, they deserve it, let them in - two or three who make it in because they're still hanging around and a couple of people who you would probably think deserve it, if you only knew who the heck they are.

Let's look at this year's list:

Don't Deserve It. Like, At All:

* Madonna - Um, guys, it's the "Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame," not the "Bland Eighties Pop Hall OF Fame." Seriously, let's look at the work and not the "brand" here, because her music is pretty dang bad. Seriously, if she hadn't been such an attention-grabbing hoochie in the 80's, she's be sitting alongside Cindy Lauper, Tiffany and Debbie (Sorry, "Deborah") Gibson as VH1 I Love the 80's punchlines.

Although I will admit, that song "Ray Of Light" is pretty dang catchy. Um, anyway...

* John #$%^&*!@ Mellencamp - This one pisses me off the most, mainly because I have a burning fire of purest hatred a'burnin' deep within my heart of hearts for Little Johnny #$%^&*!@ Cougar. Dude is a big fat phony. Also, his music sucks a llama's butt. Just total watered-down Springsteen faux-Americana, Ford-truck-selling pap. My brain gags from just thinking about it.

Yuck.

Got In Even Though They Are Not Really Necessary To Rock:

* The Dave Clark Five - I always get them confused with Paul Revere & the Raiders or like Gerry & the Pacemakers or any one of those bland Beatles rip-offs. The DC5 were responsible for "Glad All Over", "Bits and Pieces" and "Catch Us If You Can" and were a moderately successful British Invasion Band. (Thanks, Wikipedia!) I mean, they were a solid pop group, but come on. Really? They got in because, basically, they just copied their neighbor's test.

* The Ventures - The band that launched a million crappy surf rock garage bands. The Ventures are cool, I will admit, but incidental to the bigger picture of Rock as a genre. You don't hear a lot of people saying "'Walk, Don't Run' really spoke to me, man. It changed my life." It's cool that they recognized them and all, but yeah, I don't know. I'd rather Dick Dale had made it there first.

[ sigh ] I am a total rock snob, aren't I? Oh well. I yam what I yam.

Now let's look at People Who Deserve It, But You Have No Clue Who They Are:

* Little Walter (pronounced: "Token Blues Guy") - According to the always reliable Wikipedia: "Little Walter ... was a blues singer, harmonica player, and guitarist. Also, he had an excellent nickname." Okay, that last part was me.

* Kenny Gamble and Leon Huff - Again with the Wiki: Gamble & Huff (pronounced: "Token Soul Guys") produced some minor soul records by the O-Jays, The Jacksons and Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes, so, yeah, sure let them in. Whatever. If you're letting Johnny Cougar in, who cares any more?

Finally, The One Who Deserves To Be There:

* Leonard Cohen - Why Lynrd Skynrd managed to make it into the Hallowed Halls Of Rock Fame before Leonard Cohen is one of the great injustices of the universe. Cohen has deserved this ever since he put out Songs Of Leonard Cohen and Songs From A Room, his first two albums, chock full of haunting melodies and Biblical dread. He could have pulled a Buddy holly after that and been legendary, but still managed to put out some of the most beautiful and haunting (and sometimes funny) music you will ever hear (and also some stuff that was ... well, not so good, but hey, who doesn't?). If you can listen to "Famous Blue Raincoat" and tell me "Freebird" is a better song, well, there is no hope for you and may the heavens have mercy on your soul. We weep for you tears of purest blue sadness.

So, until next year, when Patti Page, The Cowsills and Linkin Park get the nod in, you can find me here in my corner of the Internets, sulking and tearing up copies of Scarecrow in effigy. Peace.

March Of the Lists - #11

1. Old 97's
2. Ben Folds Five
3. Paul Simon
4. Rollins Band
5. Violent Femmes
6. Pavement
7. They Might Be Giants
8. Bob Dylan
9. Interpol
10. Flaming Lips
11. The Shins
12. Elliott Smith
13. Neil Young
14. Ryan Adams & the Cardinals
15. Wilco
16. R.E.M.
17. Spoon
18. Brian Wilson
19. Pearl Jam
20. Beck
21. Jonathan Richman

March Of the Lists - #10

1. Bryan Adams
2. Sting
3. Billy Joel

(Possible Alternates Include: Post-Taupin Elton John, Michael Bolton and/or Michael McDonald)

March Of the Lists - #9

1. The Simpsons Movie
2. The King of Kong
3. Stardust
4. Demetri Martin. Person.
5. Sneakers
6. The Odd Couple
7. The Man Who Knew Too Much
8. The Hudsucker Proxy
9. Drive Well, Sleep Carefully
10. Sicko

Sunday Comics! TETSUO!

Looks like Tetsuo just got finished watching my new favorite television comedy, Jennifer Love Hewitt's The Ghost Whisperer on CBS Saturday nights (same night/channel that Walker: Texas Ranger used to be on. Coincidence? I think not.):

Panel from Akira: Book 5 by Katsuhiro Otomo.

The *s At Night Are Big & Bright

Even if Cleveland wasn't blanketed in knee-deep snow, I would still rather be at South By Southwest this weekend. I don't care if it's all "played out" and mainstream - I want to see millions of awesome bands while munching on delicious barbecue.

Is that too much to ask for?

March Of the Lists - #8

1. VALIS
2. The Road
3. The Dharma Bums
4. Dreaming Pachinko
5. The Chronicles Of Narnia
6. Travels With Charley In Search Of America
7. The Ladies of Grace Adieu and Other Stories
8. The Yiddish Policeman's Union
9. A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again
10. How We Are Hungry
11. Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World

BRR Goes To the Movies - The Hamburger Guy Strikes Again

Morgan Spurlock's new doc, Where In the World Is Osama bin Laden. Looks brilliant. I'd say Theater, but do you really need to see a documentary in the theater? I'll Rent it as soon as it comes out. You?

March Of the Lists - #7

This one's probably easy, but oh well:

1. Bonnie and Clyde
2. The Conversation
3. Crimson Tide
4. French Connection 1 & 2
5. Get Shorty
6. Heartbreakers
7. The Royal Tenenbaums
8. Runaway Jury
9. Superman
10. Young Frankenstein

Links & Lists

Have I pointed out Faces In Places yet? Because it's awesome.

Also awesome is Stuff White People Like, where you get hints on how to interact with us honkeys. Brilliant stuff.

As long as I'm link-pimping, I'll give a shout out to Destination: Blog, home of comics hilarity and some pretty upstanding persons.

Also, Chris Haley, you cannot beat "Cassanova Frankenstein" as Best Villain Name Ever. Please stop. You're making a big mistake. People of the Internets, am I right? Please help me set this man straight, as he is obviously a little mixed up. Thanks you.

I'm pretty excited to do a poster for the new project from former Dismemberment Plan frontman, Travis Morrison: Travis Morrison Hellfighters, who will be playing with the Novelty Act later this month. If you haven't heard The Plan, well, there is no hope for you, as Emergency & I and Change are a couple of amazing, amazing albums. Seriously.

And finally: Enjoy.

******

Also, List #4 was titled "Reasons To Get Back To Work On That Time Machine," though any sort of reference to time travel would have been accepted. You all lose.

March Of the Lists - #6

1. "Tonight I Have To Leave It" - Shout Out Louds
2. "If I Don't Live Today, Then I Might Be Here Tomorrow" -
Mando Diao
3. "The Midnight Choir" - The Thrills
4. "Song For The Songs" - The Concretes
5. "Mushaboom" - Feist
6. "She Heightened Everything" - The Pernice Brothers
7. "Forever Lost" - The Magic Numbers
8. "The Pledge" - Brendan Benson
9. "Shirin" - Jens Lekman
10. "My Revolution" - Papas Fritas
11. "Fraud In The '80s" - Mates Of State
12. "A New Name For Everything" - The Weakerthans
13. "If Looks Could Kill" - Camera Obscura
14. "The Vanishing Spies" - Frank Black
15. "We're From Barcelona" - I'm From Barcelona
16. "Chartiers" - The Essex Green
17. "Suddenly Upsidedown" - Oranger
18. "I Was Made For You" - She & Him
19. "Don't Be Shallow" - Sondre Lerche
20. "Let The Wolves Howl At The Moon" - Super Furry Animals

Sound Of Sounds

That sound you hear? It's the fanboy blogosphere officially losing its mind.

I'm sort of on the fence with this one. On one hand, it's one of superhero comics' greatest achievements, a true masterpiece and the standard against which all works in the genre will and should be judged.

On the other hand, it's an incredibly faithful adaptation of aforementioned comic masterpiece, so why not just read the comic instead? Why do comics need Hollywood approval to justify their existence?

Also, in case you missed it, Newsarama ran the second part of their Grant Morrison interview yesterday. The All-Star Superman talk was nice, but it was this sentence here that made my brains explode into a mush of happiness:

"...I’ve certainly got a bunch of new books coming out from Vertigo later this year – they’ve taken a while to write, because I’ve been busy with the movies and the DCU books, but you’ll be seeing some mad creator stuff pretty soon.

"The first of the books, I’m happy to say, is the long-awaited ultra-violet, necrodelic… Seaguy 2: Slaves of Mickey Eye – Cameron Stewart has the first script, and maybe now that we’re getting to finish our story, people will finally understand what it was all about!"

More Seaguy? And now with even more "violet"? Yesyesyes! There is a Santa Claus!

******

ETA: And if that wasn't enough, there's this: Dangermouse is producing the new Beck album. Saint's preserve us, this is a great day.

March Of the Lists - #5

1. Scrape ice/hail off the driveway for an hour last night.
2. Listen to Hillary wah-wah-wah on and on about her "victories".
3. Shovel snow off the driveway before work.
4. Shovel snow off my car before work.
5. Chip ice off of my windows.
6. Literally dig myself trenches so I could remove my car from the curb and drive away.
7. Drive on some slushy/icy/slippy roads with my muffler almost hanging off my car and only a small swath of clear windshield to navigate through.
8. Bungee said muffler back on my car after work.
9. Be stuck at work because my car won't start because my battery died a painful death.

Guess away.

PS: Anybody give up on yesterday's list?

Does That Make Me Crazy?

I must say, I am roughly ten kinds of excited for the new Gnarls Barkley album, The Odd Couple, doubly so after seeing this video for their first single off what is poised to be one of the best albums of '08.

I feel it is only fair to alert you to the fact that the UK division of MTV is refusing to show it on the grounds that it may cause seizures. You have been warned.

*******

In other news, we watched The Darjeeling Limited last night. I dunno. I liked it, but didn't love it, y'know? The whole thing was a little too familiar (Owen Wilson basically plays Bottle Rocket's Dignan in Dengar headgear), a little too mannered (as much as it pains me to say it, I think that Anderson's signature directorial style is starting to overshadow the story he's trying to tell) and a little lacking in the "heart" department (I had no connection to any of the flat, self-involved characters who wander around India saying thing like "I like the way this place smells. It's spicy.").

There are some funny scenes, a couple touching scenes and a lot of fun, gorgeous, but ultimately disposable stuff in-between. It's not that it was a bad movie - a "pretty good" Wes Anderson movie is better than just about anything else clogging the rental shelves / Netflix / Redbox / whatever today - it's just that I felt I'd seen similar stories told better, and by Anderson. It's Bottle Rocket (band of misfits on a journey) meets The Royal Tennenbaums (screwed-up family drama). It's like someone doing an almost successful Wes Anderson imitation. Almost successful.

I don't know. My opinion will probably change the more I think about it, but as it stands, I'd rate it as my least favorite film of Anderson's admittedly impressive body of work. Which is sort of like saying it's the ugliest Victoria's Secret model or something. I don't know.

Am I nuts? Comment below.

March Of the Lists - #4

1. Bob Dylan & the Band, circa 1966
2. Modern Lovers, circa 1972
3. Little Richard, circa 1955
4. Shiny Jumpsuits Of the Future
5. Guided By Voices, circa 1994
6. James Brown, circa 1965
7. the Clash, circa 1979
8. The Beatles, circa whenever
9. Gold Star, Western Recorders and Sunset Sound, circa 1966
10. Leonard Cohen, circa 1969
11. Dinosaurs
12. Talking Heads, circa 1980

Those Kooky Star Wars

This is fairly awesome:

A big nod to the title work of the always reliable Saul Bass.

March Of the Lists - #3

Hopefully this one will be more difficult. You guys are way too smart:

1. Club Sandwiches
2. French Fries
3. Cobb Salad
4. Buffalo Wings
5. Pretty Much Everything Else

Sunday Comics! Hail Hydra!

Say what you will about Baron von Strucker ("Baron", unfortunately, is not his first name. It's "Wolfgang", which is still pretty cool, I guess), dude may be an evil ex-Nazi bent on world domination (is there any other kind, in comics or the real world?), but he has a pretty great sense of humor:

"Dude, we totally captured Nick Fury! You know what would be hilarious? If we, like, took his body and totally like, made all our evil robots look just like him? People would be all like 'Dude! It's totally Nick Fury attacking us!' But it would be, like, an evil robot! Oh man. That would be awesome. Wait. Where was I? Oh yeah, I gotta activate the Alpha-Tron thing so I can shoot these Alpha Thingies at Fury and totally blow him up!"

Panel taken from the Nick Fury: Agent Of S.H.I.E.L.D. trade collection by the one and only Steranko & Co. This collection is packed with so much cramazing™ ("crazy" + "amazing" = "cramazing". ™ & ©, 2008, BRR Enterprises, Inc. a subsidiary of Globocorp: the Nameless, Faceless Corporation You Cannot Trust), your eyes will explode when you behold it.

March Of the Lists - #2

WifeSwap

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

That Oprah give-away show

Prison Break

Smallville

Gossip Girl

Shows where people get brutally murdered/kidnapped/robbed in the first five minutes

Desperate Housewives

Grey's Anatomy

POW! - Cortez the Killer

Another Vegas shot.

March Of the Lists - #1